I could think of worse things to die from than endometrial cancer.
Fire would probably top the list. Yeah, I definitely do not want to die by fire or even be slightly singed at the outskirts of some colorful dancing flames, toasting whatever happens to be in its path.
Drowning has never appealed to me either, but from what they say, it can be rather peaceful. Just exactly how did “they” make that determination?
However, my idea of peaceful, is being about oh……85 semi-healthy years old and one sunny morning, the cheerful staff in my beautifully assisted living community enter my room (<remember that my dear children) to give me my first daily dose of meds and discover that I’ve died quietly in the night. Simple, quiet and hopefully not too messy. What in the death department could possibly be more pleasant than that?
So, where is she going with all of this morbid talk you might ask? I am getting there. I am just pretty slow when I am this depressed. Besides all the drama makes for a good story and maybe someday my great, great, great children will want to read it.
Anyway, February 6, 2007 was a pretty shitty day for both me and my eldest child. It just so happens it was her 34th birthday and I was not emotionally or physically able to function well enough to get it together for a card, much less presents or cake and ice cream. I’ve promised a better, and big celebration later, but if it’s one thing my kids KNOW about me, is I expect at least somewhat of a remembrance on THE DAY and then we can have the additional party later. Tam has grown up with the same expectation. I and most of her other loved ones, really let her down.
In her heart of hearts, I know that she fully understands that it was hard for me to be in a partying mood. Considering at the gynecologist that morning, he used some foot long torture device, without the benefit of anesthesia to clip a sample of my uterus for a biopsy. A biopsy is necessary because women who are post menopausal and suddenly begin bleeding again are presenting symptoms that MAY be cancer he so eloquently explained. Since that was the 2nd biopsy for such symptoms in as little as two years, I would have rather elected for the hysterectomy at that point, but he said he hadn’t scheduled quite enough time during that appointment. Instead, he tortured me. I didn’t like it last time, and I sure as HELL didn’t think it felt any better this time. So, I spent the rest of the day in bed, somewhat in her honor. Since it was her birthday and everything. I swear though, childbirth----breech childbirth in Tam’s case------ was easier than a uterine biopsy-with uh….two samples for good measure!!!!
Always thinking’ I said to the good doctor….”So Doc, let’s just say this doesn’t come back as cancer and considering this is the 2nd time in a two year period that I’ve had uterine bleeding without a positive diagnosis for cancer…….how about that we just do a hysterectomy anyway??”
He looked at me like there were worse things in life to put up with than wearing a maxi-pad at 53 years old and said absolutely NOT.
Okay, I said….thinking that I’ve got ammo for you and your HMO and I am not afraid to use it…….try this………….TWO, YES TWO SISTERS WHO HAVE DIED OF CANCER AT THE AGE OF 39. I don’t think for a minute that a prophylactic surgery such as that is an unreasonable thing to consider. Especially when most women who get uterine cancer are between 40-60 years old.
Anyway, at this point I am going to wait for the results of my torture test and then we’ll take it from there. In the mean time, would you say a little prayer for me and some big HAPPY BIRTHDAY’S TO TAMMY!
Love you all, Lisa
Posts
