WHAT THE HELL?

Everyone involved in this situation clearly needs some adult supervision. And they should be made to provide support for this brood mare and her litter, because with what little I know right now... I don't imagine she's going to be given a television show a'la John and Kate, Plus 8!

Will people be sympathetic? I am not so sure, all considered.

I am all about the "Live and Let Live" concept in life, and would normally say, "Whatever!" when it comes to someone who already has 6........yes, SIX children under the age of SEVEN....using fertility treatments to conceive once again, BUT.

Yes, BUT!!!

Single handedly, this apparently unmarried California woman, who LIVES at home with her parents-has caused the City workers in Whittier, to have to run out and change the population signs, now that she's given birth to OCTUPLETS!

That's EIGHT newborns.

I will do the math for you. THAT MAKES 14, YES...FOURTEEN CHILDREN THAT SHE NOW HAS! The media has reported that her "older" chidren are ages, 7, 6, 5, 3 and 2 year old twins.

Grandpa, in all his wisdom decided to throw out a challenge to the news media who are now camped outside of their very modest home, by saying; "We have a huge house, not here. You are never going to know where it is."

Seriously Gramps? You will live to regret that comment! They'll find you and dig up more dirt on you people than you could ever imagine. Ask Britney Spears.

Anyway, I wish them well and I may even send them a few bucks for a couple packages of disposable diapers as Heaven knows they're going to need the help.

Then maybe not, as The Enquirer, always a classy "newspaper" will probably pay them for the story and photos.

News at 11!!

Finally....a place to WHINE!!

Because I already posted a somewhat dreary entry today and I don't want to be sad and really ruin my day, I want to share this brilliant idea with you! One of the blog authors that I follow and a friend of hers started up a new blog, where we can whine, bitch, complain and moan all we want and do it anonymously if we choose! I think I am a "founding member" considering I was number 11 to sign on as a follower!! I am not sure that is something to be proud of, but..whatever.

It's called, get this....Secret Spineless Whine!

This explanation is from their opening post!!

Do you have a secret that you want to tell the world anonymously? Then go to the excellent Post Secret or Secret Tweet. We don’t need your kind here.

But if you have a spineless whine, well, make yourself at home!

What is a spineless whine? It’s a minor complaint that doesn’t quite reach the level of a secret and yet you suspect that if you shared it with your friends or colleagues, they would be annoyed. That’s where we come in.

Email your spineless whine to......

secretspineless.whine@blogger.com, anonymously or not, and it will post directly to Secret Spineless Whine.

Like Post Secret...I see a book deal in the works and of course, there'll be talk show appearances. You just can't believe what people have already whined about on that site!! They're going to make millions. I just know it!

Damn!

Waaaaaa...I don't know why I didn't think of that!!!

Happy Birthday Papa!

Today, on what would be my late father's 73rd birthday, I decided to honor him by reposting this entry, which is the eulogy I wrote and presented at his memorial service on Saturday, August 28, 2004. I hope you'll enjoy this little glimpse of my father! I miss him very, very much!



Ronald Reagan once said, "I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph and that there is purpose and worth to each and every life."

On behalf of the entire Newman family, I thank you for attending this celebration of my father’s worthy life; a journey that was filled with love and a lot of laughter. A life that was truly an example of all that is good, honest and right. We believe he is looking down from Heaven and is certainly awed, seeing this outpouring of love and recognition. I believe that everyone’s life is an amazing story just waiting to be told and I hope that you’ll bear with me while I share some of my fathers.

John Morgan Newman, also known as "Jim, JM and Papa" to those closest to him, was a long time resident of this community. He was born in Muldrow, Oklahoma on January 28, 1936 to Jessie Chitwood-Spencer and Henry C. Newman. He died peacefully at home on Wednesday, August 25, 2004 after a long struggle with diabetes and Hepatitis C/liver disease.

Preceding him in death was his father, Henry, sister; Brenda, step-father; "Sarge" Dunn and two infant sons; James and Morgan.

He is survived by his mother, Jessie; daughters, Lisa and Abigail; sons, Noel (Yvette), Sean, Justin (Christy), Parker (Wendy), and Joel; sister, Mary and brother and sister-in-law, Lee and Sherry. He is also survived by his eldest grandchildren, Tamara and Scott (Kerry), whom he raised as his own, and his other grandchildren; Riley, Tonacey and Cindy. The family gratefully acknowledges Tricia for her loving nursing and family assistance during Papa’s long illness, and his final days. She is truly an angel.

Thanks to the staff of Hoffmann Hospice, his last days were pain-free, and filled with loving care and the tender good-byes of his family, who surrounded him as he passed over to the spirit world.

Despite the illness that cut his life too short, he never lost his sense of humor, even toward the end. A few weeks back, while he lay on a gurney at the hospital awaiting a procedure, I stood by his side. He looked up at my saggy, double chin and said, "Did you change your mind about that plastic surgery?" I said, "Well Papa, you’ve been so sick that I haven’t been able to get that done!" and he replied, "You may just want to reconsider that pretty soon!"

One day recently, my Aunt Mary and I were huffing and puffing and "sweating like goats" (which is pure Okie talk), as we were tending to him and changing his bed. He looked over at us, shook his head and said, "440 pounds of PURE MENOPAUSE!"

He retired from the state correctional system in 1998, after a 17 year career as a Correctional Officer and a highly respected Correctional Counselor. He loved his work and was pleased to share his knowledge and experience with his coworkers, and act as a supervisor when asked. He was considered a devoted and motivated staff member and was often selected to participate in various special assignments in headquarters. Additionally, in May of 1995, he was honored as Employee of the Month. For over 10 years he was a staff sponsor for the inmate’s Alcoholics Anonymous and Native American self-help groups. His investigative abilities were amazing and he often assisted the institution’s Investigative Services Unit and local law enforcement in solving many criminal cases that occurred both inside and outside of the prison.

Of his many prison "war stories" a favorite comes to mind. He was a Unit II yard officer on Third Watch when a major riot broke out in Dorm 6. He was the first officer to respond to the chaotic scene and an inmate said to him with great concern, "They only sent one officer?" to which Papa replied, "Well, you’ve only got one riot don’t you?!"

He served in the United States Air Force for four years, mostly in the remote sections of Alaska. When the kids were little and asked him if he ever served in the war, he’d say, "Yes, I fought the war in Alaska!" The kids would say, "I didn’t know there was a war in Alaska!" Papa would say "Well, I guess you didn’t hear much about it because we won!"

Prior to beginning his career in state corrections, Jim served his beloved community as a Deputy Constable for the Judicial District, serving with his friend, Lee W for several years. He then began his employment with the Sheriff’s Department as a dispatcher. His ever calm demeanor made him a natural for that type of work.

One night, he received a particularly stressful call from a rookie deputy who said, "They’re shooting at me! What do I do?" Papa calmly replied, "SHOOT BACK!" That tape was used for many years for dispatcher training. On a sadder note, he was once required to maintain his composure and dispatch medical help and the CHP to a horrifying accident on Highway 58 that he believed to involve his wife; Becky, based upon the description of the automobile and the fact that she had just left his work site after dropping off his dinner. It turned out he was right. Thankfully, Becky lived to tell about it.

He continued his employment with the Sheriff’s Department as the Court Liaison Officer for the County Alcohol Treatment Program, making sentence recommendations to the court. Also, he was well known in County circles due to his involvement in the alcohol/drug treatment community. He was a past member of the County Alcohol Advisory Board, and former Director of Carter Hall, a treatment home for women. He’d often read the obituaries in the local papers and say "Oh, one of my drunks died!" That’s just the kind of guy he was, recognizing the good in everyone.

He was an accomplished pilot and flight instructor for most of his life until he was "grounded" by diabetes. His biplane sat idle in the garage at his home for years and it was often a topic of conversation from passersby. He recently received his 40 year membership pin from Aircraft Owners and Pilot’s Association.

Papa loved to take us flying and he often said that he wished one of us would take an interest in it as well. We weren’t sure that would ever happen! Once just after taking young Parker for a flight, Parker said, "Dad, I like flying, but I like flying American Airlines!" Parker has now changed his mind and is planning to take flight lessons. His eldest grandson, Scott, made him very proud to choose a career as an Army Helicopter pilot, and Papa recently gave Scott the biplane that I mentioned previously.

He was a proud tribal member of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma, having personally met every recent Principal Chief, beginning with Wilma Mankiller. He was a 32 degree Mason in the lodge here in town and enjoyed his participation until illness made it impossible.

Papa enjoyed history and was an avid genealogist tracing our family back into the early 1700s. He served as a volunteer at the local LDS Genealogy Library for many, many years despite the fact he was not a member of the church. During that time he assisted many people and was considered an expert on Native American research.

A great story-teller, he kept his family and friends enthralled with the entertaining and humorous details of his adventure filled life and loves. Sometimes he’d start out a story with, "One of my ex-wives" or "One of my children, but I forget which one…." Then someone would say, "Well, just how many wives or kids did you have?" He’d say, "Hell, I don’t know! I am a lover, not an accountant!"

He'd provide us with pearls of wisdom like, "Don’t ever sleep with someone sicker than you!

Or, "If there’s one thing worse than having one woman in your life, it’s having two!"

My favorite, "I’ll get married again when I need help back and forth to the bathroom!"

His greatest pleasure in life was his family, well…..most of the time. He once said to me, "Lisa, it’s a good thing you’re my daughter, because if you were my wife, I’d have divorced your arse a long time ago!"

Abigail; his youngest daughter and donut buddy, was a bright star and his greatest joy in his life for the past 12 years. They teased one another all the time. When speaking about Abbie or Joel, he’d say, "I now know why they call some Indians civilized!"

He especially enjoyed meals in local restaurants with his children and grandchildren. It may have been that he was afraid of my cooking. I really don’t know! But, he favored Henry’s Café, where he loved to visit with Richard and Debbie, the owners and was served by his favorite waitresses; Desiree, Kristi, Marietta, Nicole and Kasey. He loved to slip them a 20 dollar bill for their birthdays, at Christmas or when one of them was off to Las Vegas. He did it just because he could, living life like he was rich, and he was richer for it.

My father was a very giving man. Sometimes to a fault. There were some people along the way that took advantage of his generosity, but it never deterred him. As a Native American, he believed he would be judged in the afterlife by what he gave to others. I believe that most of us here can say that we benefited from that trait of his at one time or another. He probably paid for your lunch or dinner, on more than one occasion. He was especially liked to pick up the check for everyone at the table when we’d go out to eat, saying, "That's one thing in life that I am really, really good at!"

Papa always said he’d never invite a lady to lunch and allow her to pick up the check. Unless, of course, it was me! He told me since I was a Captain, I could afford it. Come to think of it, he also said, "You know what…..now that you’re a Captain, you can also shine your own damn work boots!" I know he was extremely proud of me, but he said he had to draw the line somewhere!

In closing, I’d like to read this passage from the book September, by Rosamunde Pilcher…….

Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.

Oh, and if you were to ask me if there was just one thing that you could do to honor my father’s memory, it would be to pick up someone’s restaurant check……please, and do it in the same, loving manner.

Thank you again for attending this service to remember my wonderful dad!

Pay It Forward and Artsy Pen Pal Gifts

It's like Christmas here, all over again and I feel giddy like a little kid with all my new treasures!

In the Pay it Forward tag that we did a couple of months ago, my friend, Jenn at J-Online sent me this very creative hat box, that she decorated with stickers and sweet motivational quotes such as...Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year! And...Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows!

Inside it was filled with magnetic note pads, a journal, some fancy-schmancy Post-it page markers which I will use up promptly...since I highlight or mark passages in nearly every book I read...and the icing on this was a package of honest to goodness Texas Bluebonnet Lupine seed, since Jenn is from Texas!! I can't wait to add them to my garden!! Jenn commented in the card that accompanied this special gift, "As you can see, I'm not very creative!" HUH? Can you imagine her thinkin' that after seeing this! Silly girl! I think it's very creative and MUCH appreciated!!! Thank you Jenn!!!



Then...over at C. Beth's blog, we did a holiday Artsy Pen Pal exchange and look at this adorable Sunny Snow-woman I received from another Jen, in Wisconsin! She's a stay at home mom of an 8 month old and found the time to create this outstanding little piece of art! Isn't it cute? (Jen....I want to link to you but I am still attempting to get your blog address from Beth to do so, but I send my sincere thanks!)

And....I am going to use this Sunny Snow-woman like a Flat Stanley! Her first stop? She's going to my son in Afghanistan for a visit and photos, which I will share later! From what my son tells me, Afghanistan is soooo cold right now, he could use a little sunshine!!! Watch for the photos!

Again, my thanks ladies for your thoughtfulness and creativity!

PS, My Pay it Forward gift went to Melissa the other day and Remo..yours is almost ready to be mailed and different from Melissa's so in case she posts an entry about it, it won't ruin your surprise!

Open Range

When visiting Cave Man; a serious movie buff, he's been sharing his love of modern day films with me-one who's been mostly film deprived due to my former inability to sit still and quiet my mind long enough to focus on plots and subplots.

Recently, we watched Open Range, a 2003 Western, starring Kevin Costner, Robert Duvall and Annette Benning. The story follows Charlie Waite (Costner) and Boss Spearman (Robert Duvall), cattlemen who believe in freegrazing (allowing herds of cattle to move freely throughout the country, rather than stay on a ranch)and the problems they encounter with some folks who don't want cattle grazing the praries.

It was a great film and I now love me some Kevin Costner!

Did you know Kevin Costner sings too? Here's a clip of him and his band, Modern West, singing Superman 14 which is a very catchy tune and will quickly become an "ear worm"......you know, one you can't get outta your head if you listen to it over and over, like me. Take that as fair warning, but do take a listen. I think he's amazing.



But, I digress!

In October 2008, I discovered Cheri Block Sabraw's incredible blog, entitled; Notes from Around the Block, when it was featured as one of Blogger's "Blogs of Note." Cheri is a teacher at Mill Creek Academy, in Northern California which she originally founded as a writing school in 1998. I would love to attend her writing classes but I think I am too old now!

Anyway, she posted a great entry today about some cattle wranglin' taking place right there in her neck of the woods...the San Franciso area! Yep...Happy California cows in the modern West! It's a great short story and I hope you'll stop by and read it!

Giddy up!

Friday Fill-Ins

You can play along with Janet by going to her Friday Fill-Ins blog!


1. Oh, I am so freakin' naive at times! ::shakes head::

2. I am so grateful for all my life's changes, big and little.

3. During my sleep, I snore and sometimes stop breathing.

4. My natural gas bill up 40 percent; are you kidding me???

5. Right now I'd like to be in one of the places that I consider a "peaceful safe haven." Location, location, location.

6. Duh! The computer is my favorite gadget.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to eating an IN and OUT cheeseburger, just prior to driving back up the mountain from our trip all the way down there just to go to the damn pharmacy, tomorrow my plans include biting off a few pieces of the elephant in the dining room and Sunday, I want to finish him off!

Clarification requested by some of my readers...In and Out (<--click on In and Out in the first sentence of this paragraph for more info) is a great "fast-food" place to get a very fresh hamburger and awesome fries. They cut their own potatoes right there in front of you and serve them hot and delicious! They are only in California, Nevada, Utah and Arizona.

Us Californians LOVE In and Out because it's soooo YUMMY, and the staff are extremely well trained in customer service, so they get paid more than the average fast food restaurant.



No darn it, the elephant is not chocolate, because if it was, it would have been polished off long before now!! I always tell Ab the best way to tackle a big project is like you'd eat an elephant...one little bit at time! My elephant is a huge stack of paperwork, magazines and mail that has piled up since before Christmas and I think it multiplies in the night as it's completely covered the dining room table. I am going to attack it, one bite at a time!!

Her best thinkin'.............

Rita Mae Brown said.....

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

She also said......

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.

In the AA and Al Anon circles, there's a saying that is often used...which is basically, "Your best thinkin' got you here!"

My poor young woman child and her mother are both "one out of every four Americans" that suffers from some form of mental illness. Her best thinkin' coupled with a little dose of bad judgement got her suspended from school yesterday, when one of her former girlfriends "crossed the line!" and Abbie decided to give her a significant "shove" away from the lunch table.

According to the Principal and Ab's version of this incident, it wasn't one-sided. The other girl was indeed attempting to provoke Abbie with what ever she was running her teenage hormonal mouth about. Ab called it, "Talking major crap!" and said the girl "crossed that line where she needed to have her ass kicked! And...she's lucky I didn't beat her ass instead of just pushing her away!"

Ab usually has a lot of patience and self-control with others, except for those of us in her immediate family! So, basically in public, she's on her best behavior. She's not unkind to others, or disrespectful of authority. She's polite, respectful and caring. So, I was somewhat taken aback by her behavior when I received the call from the school. Even the principal expressed his shock at Abbie's reaction calling her a "really good kid!" and apparently the other young lady was known for having some previous suspensions for HER behavior.

So, when Ab got home, we had the "talk" about self-control, the law when it comes to putting ones hands on another person and of course, I did my part with the appropriate parental admonishments, etc. Ab was naturally riding high on adrenaline after the incident and had no problem justifying her actions repeatedly saying that the girl had "crossed the line and needed to have her ass kicked" and she was somewhat proud of her self-control at only "shoving" her!

I was using my best parental and "inmate" type counsel, trying to get her to understand....Who decides when another person crosses the line verbally in a situation like that? I pointed out that it was she who crossed the line, including legally... by getting physical and how ironic it was that the other young lady didn't get suspended for her behavior. Ab was lucky the police weren't called, because apparently Abbie's fingernails caused scratches on the girls chest when she pushed her.

Abbie just had a hard time with letting go of the "judgement" aspect; the part about "crossing the line" continued to be the frequent justification.

I tried another tactic. I said, "Ab, you often cross the line with me, don't you? What if I 'beat your ass' every time you 'crossed the line'? Is your idea of crossing the line, different than mine? Probably. In fact I am sure it is, so you just can't make that judgement in relationships. That's how people get into domestic violence situations because they think it's their right to determine what is....'crossing the line!'"

I'm not sure if I ever was able to influence her best thinkin' but we'll see. Today she's suspended for the entire school day and we'll have another talk about her judgement and thought processes.

I hope I am using my best parental thinking. I must be, because I didn't have the slightest inclination to beat her ass! ;)

Teenage HELL, I'm telling you!

Let It Begin With Me.........

Your Word is "Peace"

You see life as precious, and you wish everyone was safe, happy, and taken care of. Social justice, human rights, and peace for all nations are all important to you. While you can't stop war, you try to be as calm and compassionate as possible in your everyday life. You promote harmony and cooperation. You're always willing to meet someone a little more than halfway.

What's Your Word?

Viva Mexico!

As I mentioned in the 100 Random Little Things About Me entry...my now "former" mother-in-law is Mexican by birth, but she's an American citizen. She has always travelled back and forth to Mexico to see family, friends and the nuns in the Carmelite convent she was in as a young woman, which she left just before she took her final vows.

When Fly Boy was a child, he twice had the wonderful opportunity to travel with her deep into Mexico, where he experienced the culture, people and sights. I was and still am very envious because he had that experience with someone who knew the language, the environment and most importantly the people in the country.

Don't pity me, because I HAVE been there. For my 50th birthday, I experienced a magnificent cruise to Mexico, visiting stunning Puerto Vallarta, Cabo San Lucas and Mazatlan! However a tourist trip is never the same as hanging out with someone who knows the ins and outs of all things Mexican. I have also had the very humbling experience of traveling into Tijuana with my MIL, to visit some of her family that lives in that poor border town, but it was only for a few hours each time. That's why I want to do the Mexican/Spanish Language immersion trip someday. I want to stay there for several weeks or months...maybe even a year and totally be immersed in the culture and language. Now that I am retired, it's something I can seriously consider doing once Ab is on her own.

Anyway...I was talking about Fly Boy's experience in Mexico with his Grandma Tutie. After returning from his first trip when he was about 9 years old, or so....we were talking about his adventures and he was very animated and excited while sharing his stories. I guess I got really excited when listening and thought maybe, just maybe he shared the same dream as me...to actually live in Mexico. I then had the brilliant idea that perhaps he'd like to be a foreign exchange student someday.

So, I posed the question after throughly explaining the concept of being an exchange student.

Me: "Fly Boy! Wouldn't it be cool to live in Mexico as a foreign exchange student? Going to school there for a year and living with a Mexican family!

Fly Boy: "No Mom, I think I'd rather be a terrorist!"

Me: "What? WHAT? A terrorist? I don't understand Fly Boy! What do you mean by terrorist?"

Fly Boy: "You know Mom! One of those people who just goes and visits the country like I did with Tutie!"

Me: "Oh you mean a TOURIST! YOU WANT TO BE A TOURIST!!"

Fly Boy: "Yeah, that's it! A tourist! I just want to be a tourist. That's all!"

Thank God we clarified that!

I am extremely proud to say that my son now is chasing TERRORISTS in Afghanistan rather than the choosing to actually be one!

100 Random Little Things About ME!

Obviously, I've got a little too much time on my hands to sit here and think up this stuff on a day when I should be writing about the historic significance surrounding this glorious day of change in our nation as Senator Obama was sworn in as our new President. Everyone else has already done that so much better than I could, so I present this instead. I've run across several bloggers who have done this, so I decided to play along.

Here goes....

1. I sucked my thumb, well actually both thumbs…however not at the same time, until I was 12 years old.

2. It really upset me when I stuck my “favorite” left thumb in our wringer washing machine when I was about 3 years old.

3. My left thumb has the ugly scar to prove that stupid kid trick.

4. I used to habitually bite my fingernails.

5. I quit biting my fingernails when I got my engagement ring because I wanted to show it off with pretty hands and nails.

6. I am left-handed

7. I do not write with a left-handed hook like many people who are left-handed do.

8. I shoot a handgun using my right hand.

9. I cut with scissors using my right hand.

10. I am the only biological child of my mother and father-together.

11. I really like that fact as it makes me feel very special; like one of a kind!

12. I have 11 half-siblings born to my mother and father, and they have various mothers/fathers. Confusing, huh!

13. Only 7 of those half-siblings are alive. Two died as infants and two died as adults; both of cancer and at the age of 39.

14. I am a proud registered member of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma due to my paternal Native heritage.

15. My birth took place in an unwed mother’s home in Los Angeles.

16. I was placed for immediate adoption after my birth.

17. My birthmother changed her mind and took me back before the adoption was finalized.

18. Later, when my mother married, her husband adopted me when I was 5 years old.

19. I found my birthfather when I was about 25 years old.

20. He became my very best friend and believed in me like no one ever had.

21. I miss him terribly since his death 4 years ago.

22. I want to marry someone like my birthfather.

23. I already married someone like my adoptive father and it wasn’t good so I divorced him.

24. I am the adoptive mother of two children, both Native American from the Cheyenne Nation of Oklahoma.

25. My youngest adopted child is my niece, by birth. She is the daughter of one of my half-brothers.

26. My youngest son, is her half-brother. They have the same birthmothers, but different fathers. Still with me here?

27. I am the biological mother of two other children; who are older than the adopted kids.

28. My first child was miscarried when I was about 5 months along in the pregnancy.

29. I didn’t breast feed those babies because it wasn’t popular at the time and also because I was afraid my husband would be jealous of the time they spent on the breast. Sick, huh!

30. I really regret that I didn’t choose to breast feed my kids. It’s probably the only real regret I have in life, which I think is pretty good.

31. I once lost $1000 in a pyramid scheme. It was a hell of a lot of money back then. It’s still a hell of a lot of money to lose foolishly.

32. I am extremely lucky…in Casinos, Drawings and Raffles, and Sweepstakes. I have won money and lots of other stuff. Nothing big like a car, but that’s coming! I’m sure!

33. I love playing the slots, especially the Wheel of Fortune machines.

34. I tried out for the Wheel of Fortune game show years ago and wasn’t selected.

35. I was in a run-off vote for Senior Homecoming Queen in High School and lost.

36. It was a disappointment, but secretly I didn’t want that much attention because I was extremely shy.

37. I have known my friend Cindi since we were in 2nd grade. We’ve always been close friends and our birthdays are just days apart.

38. She didn’t come to my big 50th birthday celebration and I don’t understand that at all.

39. I am still kind of hurt over that and it‘s been 5 years.

40. But, seriously I don’t hold grudges.

41. My mother used to raise AKC registered Collies and Shelties and entered them in various dog shows.

42. She taught me how to “show” dogs too and I won many ribbons in “Junior Handling” events.

43. I have witnessed and assisted in the birth of lots of puppies, including bringing a couple to life when the bitch didn’t do it herself…for example, cutting the umbilical cord, breaking the sac and roughing them up to start them breathing.

44. I don’t think I’d like to do that now.

45. I think I’ve always been more of a cat person as I think dogs require too much effort.

46. I don’t like cats as much as I used to now that we have four of them.

47. The best gift I ever gave someone, in my opinion, was a list of 86 Things We Love About Grandma Jessie, for her 86th birthday.

48. The best gift I ever received was a telephone call from “Elvis.” Even though it was an impersonator, it just made my day!

49. I’ve visited Graceland because I am a huge Elvis fan.

50. I wrote Priscilla Presley right after the visit to tell her how disappointed I was in the condition of Graceland. It was dirty and in disrepair.

51. She never wrote back. I don’t believe she ever got the letter, but I hope someone important there did and cleaned it up.

52. I think I loved both of my grandmothers more than I ever loved my mother.

53. My dream car when I was young, cute, skinny and single was a Datsun (Nissan) 280Z and I had two of them in a row.

54. I try to keep my car really clean, inside and out. The trunk, not so much.

55. I’d get my car washed/detailed weekly if I could. It needs it now!

56. I was anorexic for a few years when I was in my 20s.

57. I seriously got over that!

58. Backgammon is a game I used to play with a friend daily, when I was a young stay at home mom. I’d forgotten how to play it until Cave Man and I played it recently. It came back to me quickly!

59. Horses and horseback riding were my passion when I was a kid.

60. I used to ride as often as possible, in Griffith Park and at stables nearby my home.

61. I would clean horse stalls and groom the horses in exchange for the cost of riding the horses.

62. I was a highly trained Hostage Negotiator in my career. I was the “Primary” negotiator and later became the negotiations team leader at my place of employment.

63. I hated being the team leader and working side by side with the bosses in critical incidents.

64. I loved being a hostage negotiator and was damn good at it.

65. I wouldn’t be able to do it now, because I can’t think as fast as I once did.

66. In most cases, I could easily live without a telephone as I really don’t like talking on the telephone, which is the main tool of a hostage negotiator. Go figure!

67. Sometimes I think I write way better than I talk. Actually, I am sure of it.

68. If I had only one super power, I’d want to be able to be invisible at certain times, like while grocery shopping in my home town.

69. Scary movies scare me. Bad. I don’t do scary movies. AT. ALL.

70. Molasses cookies are my favorite-right now!

71. I had my upper jaw “reconstructed” because my teeth wouldn’t move back with braces and I had more jaw than I needed, probably because of my thumb-sucking as a kid. My mouth was wired shut for 6 weeks after the surgery and I lived on chocolate protein milkshakes.

72. I now HATE chocolate milkshakes.

73. I was fluent in Spanish when I was young, having studied Spanish in 6th, 7th, and 8th grades.

74. My mother-in-law was Mexican, so I used my Spanish a lot when I was with her and her family.

75. Since my divorce, I lost most of my ability to speak the language, but I still understand and can read quite a bit of it.

76. I am hoping to go Mexico on a Spanish Immersion trip in the future. My former mother-in-law is assisting me in that endeavor as I want to relearn the language.

77. Sometimes I wish I was a Mexican me.

78. Mexican food is my favorite.

79. Japanese food is my second favorite.

80. I prefer dark chocolate and always have, even when I was a kid.

81. I love to play computer games such as Poppit, Spider Solitaire, Mah Jong, etc.

82. I don’t play video games and don’t have any interest in doing so.

83. Maybe I’d change my mind if I had a Wii Fit.

84. The last video game I played was Pac Man and it made me extremely nervous!

85. If I were wealthy, I’d have a full time housekeeper, a cook and a masseuse!

86. I hate it when my house is dirty and it‘s really bad right now.

87. When I was little I knew I wanted to be a cop and a cowgirl. I came close to both.

88. I’ve been to tons of country music concerts because I just love country music.

89. I hated country music until I started relating to the cheatin’ songs when I was going through my divorce.

90. I hated cheese as a kid.

91. I LOVE cheese as an adult.

92. I've had two non-cancerous lumps removed from my left breast.

93. I hated Ice Cream as a kid.

94. I LOVE Ice Cream now!

95. I wish I didn't love ice cream!

96. My next goal is to get my Private Investigator’s license.

97. I spend money like I have it to spend.

98. I have everything in life I want and need.

99. I have always been tender-hearted, but I am toughening up!

100. I think it's fun to drive a car with a manual transmission and miss it, but I am glad that I have an automatic transmission in my present automobiles.

How Much Can One Family Take?

This cartoon from The Far Side, by Gary Larson has always struck me funny because I really used to think of an all powerful, vengeful God as He's depicted here. One that is sitting around saying to himself..."Hmmmm. Let's see...who deserves this piano crashing down on his head today? Oh yeah...there's Joe, that schmuck! He's been a real pain in the patootie lately!"

CRASH!!!

I felt justified in my thinking, considering my bleak childhood, the so-called "Acts of God" people have suffered through and the general multitude of crap that life seems to dish out to us all! God was someone to fear and certainly we were all bound to go HELL anyway, since nobody I knew was ever even close to being perfect. We weren't a particularly religious family, but we did have some exposure to various churches as kids. I really never felt like I belonged in any of them. As a balance however, we were also exposed to the "New Age" beliefs of my maternal grandmother, who was very spiritual and actually pretty progressive in her metaphysical thinking way back when.

About the time my sister was diagnosed with a rare, incurable form of breast cancer at the age of 38, which would kill her shortly after her 39th birthday, I seriously began to question what little faith I had in the God of my understanding. Surely a loving God wouldn't choose such a devastating illness to inflict on my wonderful sister who was a good, loving and devoted mother and wife. I equated HIM with that cartoon...with Kim about to be clobbered by the piano that God held precariously over her head.

Kim had suffered more than her share of heartaches as a kid......being teased mercilessly for a seriously crossed eye and the 5 operations needed to try to straighten it, along with the resulting black eye patches she had to wear, being molested by her step-father, and of course, we were all taken from our mother due to her being deemed "unfit." Maybe I missed that lesson about life not being fair in school, because this death sentence Kim was handed was seriously unfair!! It was about that time that I began my spiral into depression and anxiety attacks.

Having such doubts and a lack of faith, I began reading, searching for answers. I think I changed my mind about God once I read the book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kushner in which he defined God in a way more to my liking, with concepts about the "WHY" that I could more easily accept. In essence, Rabbi Kushner contributes certain incurable diseases or tragic accidents to an element of randomness in the universe, the existence of laws of nature and of course the misuse of human freedom-tragic choices made by us "human" beings. Instead of the all powerful, controlling definition of God, Kushner writes, "The God I believe in does not send us the problem; He gives us strength to cope with the problem" and to over come it. That sorta worked for me, until recently.

I started this post to talk about how my faith in a traditional "GOD" has been wavering and evolving; how I am still in the process of determining the "God of my understanding" as I practice the Al-Anon principles. It's comforting to know even Mother Theresa had her moments of serious doubt too.

All of this came bubbling up as a result of a tragic situation that just happened to a friend of mine the other day. She and her 39 year old husband went to bed that night, and while he was sleeping he suffered what she described as a "seizure" and died! She gave him CPR for 5 minutes before the paramedics arrived, but he was already gone. The medics worked heroically on him for 45 minutes in vain.

The official cause of death has not yet been determined and the autopsy results are pending. Kirsten and Dave were devout Christians. Dave played in a Christian "heavy metal" type band, and they have an 11 year old son. But the worst part...the horrific part, is that Kirsten is fighting for her own life right now as she is smack dab in the middle of her second round of chemotherapy for breast cancer! Dave was a wonderful husband and her best friend! She had to quit her job due to her medical condition. He was the sole support for their family. She's devastated beyond words. Can you imagine how their son is feeling right now? I am sure he's frightened that he may lose his mother now as well.

It's so damn sad. Unfair. Life is so damn unfair.

Dear God.

I so want to believe.

But, right now...it's tough.

Catalytic Convertors, Caustic Comments and Mt. Vesuvius

It's good to be back?

There's nowhere like "home!"

Oh yeah. How I've missed the bitchiness of the two young women who inhabit this pig sty...I mean...humble abode and hurl caustic insults and curse words back and forth in nearly every encounter with one another.

HOME SWEET HOME!

But there may be hope...as this morning I got up and found that Tam is not here, having left in the middle of the night; keeping her usual hours. I have no idea where she is, but perhaps she's found someone to move in with? Nah...most men won't put up with the Princess of Quite A Lot for too long! Damn it!

In other news...The ride to the airport in Nashville was a BIG adventure, when about 10 minutes after our start, somethin' or other happened with the "catalytic converter" that my friendly realtor/driver just got fixed two weeks previously, and we lost most power and had exhaust fumes pouring inside the vehicle. With a piece of a black plastic trash bag and some electrical tape he covered a smoking hole on the top of the engine and we were off again!

You may have seen us. We were the ones in the silver Ford Explorer, inching along in the Emergency lane, using the flashers, of course....WITH OUR WINDOWS OPEN, in freezing ass weather.....going about..oh,....25 miles per hour...TOPS!

ALL. THE. WAY. TO. NASHVILLE.

But, we made it in TWO HOURS, with about an hour to spare before my flight departed. And...fortunately, because we had the windows open the entire time, the carbon monoxide poisoning I had was only minor, causing only a serious headache, which I really couldn't feel much because of the frostbite to my forehead! There's a bright side to every situation!

Anyway, I had good intentions to head down the mountain to get my Driver's License renewed today, but then I learned that today is Martin Luther King's Day from Ab when I woke her up for school. School's out, and so our State Offices will be closed as well. It's probably good, because I have a blemish on my chin that is about as ugly, red and hot as Mt. Vesuvius, which would NOT make for an attractive identification photo.

Sometimes when I internalize my stress......and I was somewhat stressing about Fly Boy's departure.....I will get a breakout on my chin. It's a good thing it didn't happen until after he left and I was done visiting with my grandchildren, because I think if my DIL saw it, (and how could she have missed the pending eruption forming).....she may have freaked and not let me near the kids, considering me toxic or something!

I mean..."MORE" toxic!

Being HUMAN. Another one of my irritating character flaws.

Looky Here!!!

This is what the river looked like from my upper deck this extremely cold, but gorgeous morning! Isn't it amazing, with the patterns of the mist rising just above the water! That's my backyard!!! Imagine sunrise coming just the other side of that view! Spectacular! ::big sigh:: I am one lucky woman to have found this place! And...I almost hate to leave!

But, on the other hand...............

It's 17 degrees here!

SEVENTEEN!

Tonight were dropping down to ELEVEN!

I know.... it's waaaaayyyyy colder where some of you people live. Bless your hearts.... I don't know how you do it. It's just that I have that born and bred California blood running through my veins, so 68 degrees is about perfect for me!

I am getting outta here tomorrow and heading back to sunny California just in time to avoid the snow that may hit here Monday! I can get plenty of that frozen precipitation stuff at home, in the mountains, where I have a car!

Since I had to give the "borrowed" car back to my son on Wednesday, I've been feeling somewhat restless. It's not like I need or really want to go anywhere, it's just the fact that I can't that makes me a bit uncomfortable. That will teach me to let my driver's license expire! Note to self...TAKE CARE OF THAT ASAP!

Today I actually did a little housekeeping, in preparation for my departure. I didn't wash a single dish while I was here, until today....because I was truly vacationing. The whole time I've been here has been pure self-indulgence and I've loved every minute of it.

I have vacuumed the upstairs and will finish with the downstairs tomorrow morning as this place has to be in tip-top shape when I leave, so that it's nice, clean and orderly when I return. There's a motive to my madness, of course! I'm sure it's a control thing too as this is the only piece of my little world that I think I've had total control over, at least in the housekeeping area. There's nothing better than to walk in here where it's uncluttered, organized amd peaceful, when you need to get away from it all!

Less is definitely more, believe me.

Afghanistan...Here he comes!

Fly Boy has been preparing for this incredibly difficult day for several weeks.

As a career soldier, deployment is nothing new. He's been to Korea, Bosnia, Iraq, and today he and 30 other soldiers from his brigade are departing at noon for a one year "tour" in Afghanistan. (The word "tour" almost makes it sound like a real vacation!) These soldiers, delayed for departure as a result of various personal and professional issues are about 3 weeks behind the others who are already settled in to their choice Afghan digs. These guys get the left-overs!

In Fly Boy's case, his delay was due to the birth of his second child in December. He's been a "hands-on" Daddy, joyfully assisting in diapers, feeding and care of both his boys. Last night they video-taped him reading a variety of children's stories so the kids could see him and hear his voice while he's gone! I think that is so special. He's also taking a along a web cam so that the children can see and talk to him over the lap-top computer. Modern technology is so wonderful now, compared to when he first was deployed to Korea as a fairly new soldier!

This deployment is different because this time, he's a husband and a father to kids who were born after he returned from Iraq! When he was in Iraq for a year, Fall Girl was his new bride and a successful soldier herself. Now she's going to experience this adventure as a FORMER soldier, and busy, stay-at-home mom of two babies.

I have every faith in her ability to be strong, successful and self-sufficient due to her character and solid military experience. Plus, lately Fly Boy's been giving her some lessons in some of the finer points of certain home maintenance issues, such as properly hooking up a propane tank. There's not too much that girl can't do! And as someone who used to jump outta perfectly good airplanes as part of the Army's demonstration free-fall/parachute team, she ain't afraid of nothin'! She'll be just fine!

Last night reality set in for all of us as our visit came to an end...for now. I just hugged him tightly, told him how proud I was of him and his accomplishments, and how I expected him to do his job well and come home safe to us, safely!

I am glad I am not at the airfield to see him off today as that has got to be the toughest thing a Mom can do. Just writing this is hard enough.

Now, I am going out to lunch with a friend so I can be distracted for a little bit!

But one more thing before I go.....

That's me....sitting inside Fly Boy's Kiowa, OH 58 Helicopter, last summer! How cool is that? Nice pedicure on those little Fred Flintstone shaped feetz, huh!

Irish Gumbo

I soooooo love a man that can write!

And cook.



Good GAWD, there's nothing sexier than a man who can totally express himself through the written word!

And if he can cook too! He's really got it going on!! ::waves to Cave Man while swooning::

I don't know if Irish Gumbo can cook..but you know with a name like that, he knows a little about food. But this I do know....the man can write and spin a brilliant tale!

Seriously....go see for yourself. Click on his name in the above paragraph. And..don't miss the A Visit from Brother Heron story!

Bubba...The Friendly Cable Guy!

Brrrrrrr!!

It's 19 degrees here tonight in the Nashville area! Tomorrow night it's supposed to be even colder and by Friday night it may dip down into the single digits! It's not that cold at home where I live in the California mountains at the 4000 foot elevation! I guess I am going to be staying pretty close the the artificial log fireplace here in the condo for the next few days! It should be bearable now that I have internet access here.



Yep, yesterday...Bubba (not his real name but it could have been, easily!) the Cable Guy and his adult son; Junior, who contract with the local cable company were here to install my wireless router for cable internet access.

The reason I mention this is because a few months ago, when I was somewhat at my lowest point emotionally, Cave Man cautioned me not to make any important decisions for awhile, especially in matters of the heart. He said he'd hate to hear that I went to Tennessee and agreed to marry someone named Bubba!

Bubba, The-too friendly-Cable Guy was NOT even close to my kind of marriage material, but I think he may have had BIG eyes for me...and if he wasn't interested in marrying me, he sure wouldn't have been opposed to a honeymoon.

YUCK!!

Anyway, as I met them at the door and invited them inside, I was able to smell rank, stale cigarette smoke permeating from him as grinned at me with a broken, yellow-stained toothy grin as he scratched his pot-belly, that protruded beneath his tight, blue-collar shirt! I greeted them warmly as they introduced themselves, especially considering I was glad to see them as I was desperate for the capability of surfing the net from the comfort of my vacation home.

Me: "Nice to meet you Bubba and Junior! How are you today?"

Bubba: "Fat and happy ma'am!" as he pats his ample belly.

Me: "Well, I understand, that happens to the best of us!" I joked.

Bubba starts walking to me with his arms widely outstretched as if he's going to hug me...HUG ME..(WTH?) and he says.......

"Awwwwwwwwwww, that's so sweet of you to call me the best! My self-esteem has been taking a beating lately! It's so nice to know there's a woman that understands!"

I looked at him like he'd lost his GIT-R-DONE mind as he got closer and I back-pedalled it into the safety of my kitchen, close to the knife block!

Bubba forced out a raspy, evil-sounding smoker's laugh and promptly went to work on the router as he was supposed to do! He continued to try to impress me with all things router related as he barked orders to his subordinate adult child.

I shudder to think how he'd have behaved if Junior wasn't there. ICK!!!

That was one creepy cable guy.

Don't Hate Me....

.....because my condo and grandkids are beautiful!




Check out this "new" table...one woman's trash...another woman's treasure! I didn't even have to dive in the dumpster for it! It was just sitting right there next to my trash can this morning! There it was in all it's glory, with just a few, well quite a few scratches, and the glass top was missing, but with a little TLC, elbow grease and a new glass top, I'd have a like-new end table!

Wooooo-hooo I love me a decorative bargain!!!!

So, I grabbed that sucker quick in case someone in the neighborhood wanted to arm wrestle for it, hauled it into the condo, and got to work on cleaning it up by washing the spider webs and mud off the end of the legs. Then I headed out to WalMart for some liquid scratch cover and a Guardsman Furniture Repair kit..which is actually just marking pens in various wood stain colors. I called a nearby glass company and gave them the measurements, got a quote of $18.00 for a new glass top and headed right over there to get it! In less than 10 minutes I was out the door and on my way home to finish it up! I think I didn't measure the glass exactly right, and I need to take the glass back tomorrow to have them shave it off a just a bit on one side so it sits completely flat, but it's close! I am a girl...what can I say? Anyway...what do you think? I did pretty good, huh!




Yesterday, Fly Boy invited me over to spend the day and we had another great visit. I fed the little chow hound-twice, then played with my oldest grandson and we had so much fun! He kept saying, "Nam Ma! Come play, Nam Ma!" It was so sweet! He loved his new Christmas gifts...a little learning laptop, a SpiderMan Mr. Potato Head, a big truck that lights up, drives on its own and plays music...We Will, We Will Rock You, which is sure to drive his mother completely nuts, and....two new DVDs! Here he is snapping a pretend photo of Nam Ma while Nam Ma tries to take his picture! Kellen is showing off his new blankie, that his Mama got to match his big brother's which is pretty much the same...but now 2 years old and of course, personalized with HIS very own name!

Written Yesterday...Posted Today!

I’ve spent all day in my jammies, just hibernating inside, with no inclination to do anything except relax, nap, play a few games of solitaire on the computer and fix a bite to eat once in awhile. It’s been a comfort food kind of day. This morning I fixed Okie style sausage gravy to smother a biscuit left over from Cracker Barrel and for dinner, I had Campbell’s Tomato Soup, made with milk instead of water, and a yummy grilled cheese made with whole wheat bread to dip into the hot soup! Mmmmmm good! Brings back memories of childhood culinary delights! I think it’s the only thing my mom couldn’t ruin in the kitchen!



It’s been two whole days since I’ve heard from Fly Boy, but that’s okay as I know his time with his family is limited, since he’ll be deploying within days. Oh, and that reminds me! My former step-mother, Becky, who’s the mom to my youngest half-brothers, called Fly Boy the other day to wish him well before he leaves for Afghanistan. I thought that was so kind of her! It made my son’s day as well!

Once again I am sitting by the fireplace, and enjoying lit candles placed about the room. It doesn’t get much better than this!

The living room is still filled with Christmas presents for the grandsons, which I hope to get to them soon. Last night I bought them matching red, long sleeved shirts that say…My Dad Rocks! I’ll give them to Fall Girl on the sly, in hopes that she’ll take photos of the kids as they are wearing them to send to their Daddy in Afghanistan. I think he’d enjoy that.

Tomorrow, I guess I will head out for some site-seeing and look for some photo ops, plus venture in to Starbucks for a 4 dollar fancy, foo-foo specialty drink so I can use the Wi-Fi. For some reason, I got the idea that WiFi was free in Starbucks. Wrong. Yesterday I discovered it’s $3.99 for two hours use! Not that I want to hang out for two hours in Starbucks, but that’s the only way I can get WiFi until my computer cable is installed on Monday. And…darn it, none of my neighbors have unsecured wireless….I’ve already tried!

Well, I guess I will watch one of my new movies and continue to enjoy the time alone!

I am one happy, peaceful woman.

There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now * than enjoying this moment of pure bliss by the dancing yellow flames of the fireplace, as I watch the lazy, dark river pass by while watching an assortment of colorful, greedy birds partake in a feast of black oil sunflower seed, perched on the rail of my deck at my Tennessee condo.

I am savoring and extremely thankful for this quiet time alone. There are no dogs barking, no traffic noise, and no snippy little comments to filter out as the girls banter back and forth with piss poor attitudes. It’s so incredibly quiet that I can become somewhat startled when there is the slightest unfamiliar noise, like the assorted unidentifiable pops, creaks, and boards groaning that one attributes to a house settling. The lack of noise, makes it easy to hear the pusher boat moving the barges up and down the river, long before they get close.

This is somewhere that I could find myself spending months at a time, perhaps even attending Austin Peay University which is just a couple of miles away. After my nest is empty, I may consider doing that!

While en route here on the airplane, I listened to a pod cast from Oprah’s Soul Series, in which the speaker was talking about how in life we tend to “row our boats upstream while wearing ourselves out by struggling with the paddles” and how by just letting go of the oars, our canoe gently turns around to go with life’s flow and it all becomes so much easier. I’ve found this to be so true lately and life continues to unfold as it should, without my resistance, influence or help.

A case in point…..

By not having expectations or high hopes for this trip, I’ve been truly blessed. Yesterday, my son called and invited me to join he and his family, including his wonderful in-laws for lunch at Cracker Barrel (I LOVE that place and we don‘t have them at home) and then an afternoon of bargain hunting at the local mall. I spent about 6 hours with all of them, thoroughly enjoying my oldest grandson’s antics and ever increasing vocabulary and cuddling with the newborn, who’s already gained nearly 2 pounds since his birth a couple weeks ago!

It was almost like we’d never had any problems whatsoever. However, I am not so naïve to assume that all is forgiven at least on the DIL’s part, but it’s definitely a start and I am very grateful. The time I spent with them yesterday was way more than I imagined under the circumstances, so it was a huge gift.

I took several photos of both children to share with the family at home. My newborn grandson has sooooo much hair, that he almost needs a haircut. It’s a good thing his other grandma is a hairstylist, because he’s going to be needing her services before long!

Speaking of photos, one of my Christmas gifts from my son and his family was one of those digital photo key chains, which I’d been wanting! It was filled with about 60 photos of all of them! I love it! My DIL is very creative and she put together a gift for me of an assortment of greeting and note cards, stationary and a pen, with a laminated card of Fly Boy’s address in Afghanistan, so there’d be no excuse to NOT to write him when he’s deployed. I thought that was such a clever idea, all tied up with a pretty bow! I will definitely use all of it over this next year.

Fly Boy was scheduled to depart for Afghanistan tomorrow, but apparently he’s been given the gift of an extra week, and is now supposed to leave Friday, January 15th. I will cherish any extra time I get to spend with him before that time.

Currently, I don’t have internet access at the condo, so I am in Starbucks using WiFi. However, on Monday, I am having the cable company add internet capabilities so that I don’t go into computer withdrawls.

Oh…and Lisa’s travel tip for the day………………………..

Do NOT…I repeat, DO NOT let your driver’s license expire prior to any cross-country air travel, as you will be flagged by the airline for an up close and personal pat down search and all your belongings will be intimately scrutinized, x-rayed and tested for chemicals necessary for bomb-making adding at least another 20 minutes or so to your security screening. And….the TSA agents will give you the stink eye, because you deserve it for being soooo stupid.

Additionally, car rental companies will NOT rent you an automobile, if your license is not current, despite the fact it’s only been a few weeks since your birthday when you were supposed to renew your driver’s license which is something most responsible citizens do every 4 years. While they will not come right out and call you an idiot to your face, as it’s probably against company policy….but let me tell you…they are certainly thinking it……….EINSTEIN!

Well, I think I will go out for a bit and get some fresh air.

And by the way………I am so glad you aren’t here! :)

In glorious solitude,

Lisa


* Except for maybe hanging out with Cave Man, but I figured that he couldn’t ever miss me if I didn’t go away!

A river runs through it...............

Tomorrow I am flying to Tennessee for some serious cave time in my very own safe-haven....my condo, all by my lonesome.

I haven't been to our condo in Clarksville since the family fallout last summer, as there didn't seem to be any reason to go, when I was deemed persona non gratis. It seemed any association with the place just stirred up sad memories and anger, so it was better for me to stay away until the dust settled. Even though I thought we were on our way to mending fences at Christmas time, that didn't pan out and I decided not to spend the holiday there as planned.

So, this "visit" will be for a whole different reason as I am heading there to say "Come back to us...safely!" to Fly Boy who is being deployed to Afghanistan for one year.....on January 9th, just days after becoming a father for the second time. ::big sigh::



Personally, I don't know how much time I will get to spend with him, due to his immediate family obligations, but even 5 minutes will suffice. The icing on the cake would be to see my grandsons as well and the cherry on top would be to have all of this resolved...like grownups should do...and put it behind us. We'll see what happens. It's all out of my control. It's helpful to remember that very simple fact.

Fortunately, I totally enjoy my own company and the absence of my girls...who tend to just mess up the place while they're around anyway. During the next 10 days, I will enjoy the peace, quiet and cleanliness and come and go as I please. I will frequent the junk stores and flea markets, looking for decorative treasures and bargain books to enjoy by my fireplace. Cave Man bought me several movies that I'm taking along to watch and I'll add them to the list of those I've actually seen, which, thanks to him.....is growing by leaps and bounds. I will feed the cardinals, finches, and the variety of other birds, watching them with my binoculars as they enjoy the seed on my deck. I will take a few hours to look for new photo opportunities along the beautiful Cumberland River and in the local old cemeteries. I'll have lunch with a couple of friends and maybe even find an Al-Anon meeting to attend. Maybe I will drive to Nashville and take in a Saturday night show at The Grand Ol' Opry!

And...........



I'll be in touch!

The New Year Meme...........

Play and link back at Sunday Stealing.....HERE!

1. Looking back on 2008, what might your theme song have been?

Definitely, Let It Go, performed by Tim McGraw, which I now consider my mantra.

2. If 2008 was a movie, who would play you?

Trisha Yearwood, although they'd have to make her a brunette. I like the idea of Trisha as she's about my size and she's totally been next to Garth Brooks, well, because she's married to him. I just love Garth. He's about the sexiest, pudgy, nearly bald man around and GAWD...he can sing! And..he's got that Okie accent. An Okie accent can make me weak in the knees! Oh...this was supposed to be about the actress playing me, huh!

3. What was your greatest gift of 2008?

My new Grandson, Kellen, born December 21, 2008! Is there anything sweeter than a new baby added to the family to shower with love?

4. What is your New Year Resolution, or, what are you committing to this year?

I am committed to continuing my spiritual path by ensuring I read, exercise, think positive thoughts, create, and most importantly love myself and others.

5. If January could be represented by one song, what would it be?

Already Gone performed by Sugarland! The line..."Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on!" seems fitting at this point in my journey!



6. What do you wish for your body in 2009?

Continued good health and better physical fitness via exercise!

7. Name one new thing you would love to try in the New Year.

Writing a book, specific to my past career.

8. What do you long for 2009 to bring?

Love. I would love to "fall" in love.

9. If that happened, how would you feel?

Well, I imagine, giddy, silly, stupid and wonderful, however, it's been a long time since I've been in love, so I really don't know anymore.

10. Where would you love to vacation in 2009 if money were no object?

Alaska...for the incredible photo ops!

11. What would you like the theme of 2009 to be?

Peace, love and serenity!

12. If 2009 was a book, and the title was 5 words or less, what might the title be?

Life is a Runaway Train!

What LOVE would do.............

I spent the last few days of 2008 and the first few days of this new year, with Cave Man in his quiet safe haven, watching movies in our jammies and just enjoying our time together.

He is now feeling much better; back among the living after dangerously depleting his body and brilliant mind of nutrients and electrolytes, coupled with his dismal and debilitating thoughts and the effects of two powerful antibiotics prescribed to treat a once out-of-control intestinal infection. While the antibiotics killed the infection as he remained on a total liquid diet as prescribed, the sugary liquids he consumed, helped the candida to flourish in his mouth. After some research, and as an antidote, he promptly stopped the sugary liquids, for only small amounts of water, which nauseated him to the point he stopped consuming even that. He was probably extremely dehydrated by the time I arrived.

I truly feel he would have laid there and died, had I not headed up there with Gatorade in hand for some immediate sustenance and a comforting, encouraging and loving presence.

In the book, Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch; God says "Yea, let all those who have ears to hear, listen. For I tell you this: at the critical juncture in all human relationships, there is only one question: What would love do now? No other question is relevant, no other question is meaningful, no other question has any importance to your soul."

God says that this principle of "love-sponsored action" has been widely misunderstood-and the misunderstanding leads to resentment and anger in life. He says "For centuries you have been taught that love-sponsored action arises out of the choice to be, do and have whatever produces the highest good for another. Yet, I will tell you this: the highest choice is what produces the highest good for you."

God explains that the moment one decides the highest "good" one can do for oneself, it becomes the highest good for another.

Prior to me heading up North to be there with Cave Man he expressed concerns that he couldn't be as giving in our relationship as he isn't fully capable of doing so, since he continues to struggle with his mental and physical health, at this stage of his life. However, my decision to head up there was based upon what LOVE would do in this situation.

For whatever reasons, he and I are in each other's life right now...again...and I believe we are both reaping the benefits of the highest good in one another at this time. Whether he believes it or not, he blesses me in so many ways. It's really a win-win situation for us both.

I am home now, although reluctantly, as Tam had to make her monthly, "frequent flyer" visit to the hospital emergency room via ambulance, where I met her last night after driving 1 hour and 45 minutes to get there. Apparently the hospital didn't find her condition "emergent" as they checked her oxygen level, blood pressure, took some blood, then sent her out to the over-crowded waiting room filled with the assorted walking wounded, maimed and ill, with an extremely foul-smelling old homeless guy seeking refuge from the cold rain, thrown in for good measure. It made for some good people watching and the opportunity to do a good deed, by offering and buying the odorous old gent a 20 ounce soda to wash down his cold and petrified McDonald's hamburger.

After waiting nearly 5 hours, Tam decided she'd had enough and asked me to take her home. I shrugged and we headed off to drive up the mountain through extreme fog and rain. It's not like she left against medical advice as they really didn't want to treat her in the first place and I think they made their point. She made her point with me as well, as I too will rethink how much of an "emergency" she's actually having in the future.

But, again...I would like to think I did what LOVE would do in that situation, too.

Wishing all my Blogger friends a wonderful and prosperous new year!