These weekends go by way too fast for me. Just about the time I feel like I’ve rested enough to do some serious project around the house, it’s Sunday afternoon and time to get ready for Monday. I have so many things on my "to-do" list that a weekend isn’t enough time anyway. Most of it may have to wait until retirement.

This morning I think I was able to teach Greyson that he does not get the "choice" canned tuna food every time that I walk in the kitchen. He’s got that whole Pavlov’s response thing going on right now. Kitchen/Mom=Tuna! Now! (Note to self…I need to get Steve to put up my new doorbell. It says "The cat and his household staff live here!) The expensive kitty food is piled high in the bowl for the kittens to eat at will, but they’d much rather eat that wet stuff. They get that each morning and a little before bed. The way Greyson’s eating now, it looks like he’ll be catching up with his brother in no time.

It looks as though Greyson is going to make it. We give him a laxative every 12 hours and I think we’ve got him past the "rough" parts. Pun intended. His little bum is feeling much better and at least he’s not stopped up like he was before. The Vet didn’t really ever figure out what was going on with his little digestive system, and for awhile, we both considered it "failure to thrive." His little system may have been shocked by a change in diet when he first came home. Heaven only knows what he was eating before he came home to us. While he’s not exactly well yet, he’s eating, eliminating with out my help and moving around pretty good. I am sure the Vet’s suggested change in his diet may have helped too. Now if we could just get Thorn to leave him alone when he doesn’t want to play. We couldn’t have a better name for that wild thing!

Yesterday, Steve and I went to Home Depot and Lowe’s to get some building supplies and then to Carpet Outlet Plus to pick out carpet and linoleum for my Alan Ave. house, which is nearly ready to be placed back on the market. It’s going to be such a nice house now. The kitchen is awesome! I wish it was that way when I lived in it all those years ago.

Right after Papa died and I was visiting my family up north, my listing agent called and said that she had an offer coming in on the property. Well, that fell through, and then several weeks back, she said she had another offer coming. We decided on a 45 day escrow, and I never heard from her again. So, I called her last week and asked about the "offer." She said the people couldn’t qualify and that was that. I was pretty disappointed in the way that she handled that situation. Seems to me that it would have been appropriate to call me and let me know what was happening, rather than for me to call her weeks later.

During our conversation that day, she mentioned that my contract had expired and I would need to come in to sign a new one. Hmmmmm. We discussed the "new listing price" considering the drastic increase in housing prices in our town and the unavailability of houses right now. I’ve been watching the newspaper and I don’t see anything under 160 thousand and mine was listed at 150K. She said that we could list it now for $154, 900.

I mentioned to her that some friends of mine recently, very recently, had their rental house appraised for a refinance, and it appraised at 154K. That house is 3 bedrooms to my 4, about 300’ smaller and not in great condition. It’s also within the "comp" distance. My Alan Ave. house has been totally remodeled. Everything is new, or will be when we are finished. Her reply was, "Well they always appraise a little high for a refi." Hmmmmmm again. I distinctly recall her saying just the opposite when the house I’m living in was appraised a few months back. It came in much lower than I thought and she told me then that they "always come in lower for a refi." So, which is it? The cranky side of me wants to say forget it, and either go with one of those "Help-U-Sell" deals, or maybe even hang on to it for a few more months. I don’t know. I just hate to hurt anyone’s feelings and I am sure if I didn’t give her the listing, we’d certainly be on the outs. But I also know that I’d much rather put the realtor’s fee in my pocket and it’s a seller’s market right now. If I held on to the house, it would be financially advantageous, but I hate the thought of EVER renting it again, because of the previous MAJOR problems with damage that I have had with renters.

What to do, what to do? Decisions, decisions.

Well, I am off to get ready for the little ghosts and goblins that will be here in a couple of hours. Happy Halloween! Oh, and one more thing…You have got to try the Reese’s Inside Out candy! It’s peanut butter on the outside, with chocolate on the inside! Exactly opposite from the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups! They are soooooo good!

Weekend Assignment

The Blogfather has given us a pretty spooky assignment, in keeping with the Halloween spirit......

I am not sure whether my first one is an epitaph or a limerick!  Here goes.........

 

This here’s where Lisa’s buried.

In her short life, she was clumsy and harried.

No banana peel needed at all.

With weak ankles and a spectacular fall.

Near the edge of the grave, a gentle push they gave.

After a few shovels of earth, counted the money they saved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again, after greatly irritating my "next month I will be thirteen" year old daughter, this came to mind...............

A mother to four,

she just couldn’t take anymore.

Went out of her way to please,

and died to finally get a life of ease.

Me----OW

There has to be a special place in Heaven for those of us who will wipe a kitty's dirty butt.

And, what kind of crazy woman writes an entire journal entry about it?

Yep, I am pretending that I am a momma cat and trying to get my baby kitty to potty. I swear, I am standing over him in the litter box, while he’s trying with all his might to poop in the potty like his big brother! 

And it just ain't workin'!

I am seriously trying to save this little guy’s life.

We're talking s-e-r-i-o-u-s, here. 

Three pretty serious enemas (just ask Greyson), an x-ray, some blood work, 2 separate hospitalizations and medication to the tune of $312.00 in vet bills, and some special diet, high dollar IAMs Kitten Food, and poor little Greyson is still not able to push those teeny kitten turds all the way out.  So, mama wipes his stinky bottom to help. 

Yeah, I am that kind of mom.    

Foggy Minds

This photo was taken somewhere along Highway 1 this summer as we made our way back home from my Uncle Lee's house.  I thought it was beautiful (in a dark sort of way) and used it for many of the thank you cards I made and sent after my father's memorial service.  It somehow seemed just right for that type of card.

Greyson isn't doing well at all.  He's just not thriving, compared to his brother.  He's constipated once again and I am sure he's just m-i-s-e-r-a-b-l-e!  His bottom is just so sore and his little rectum is prolapsed.  He just can't push out the fecal matter without some help. 

Once again, I have started him on the laxative medicine that the vet sent home and have used some mineral oil to moisten that area and it helps a little.  But, he's clearly in distress. When I picked him up from his hospital stay he had loose stools, but he just didn't act like a healthy little kitten.  So, I think it has to be more than just constipation.  Something's just not right inside of him.   

In fact, he's never acted right from the moment I brought him home.  But, the blood tests at the vet were all negative.  He seems to eat enough, but I don't believe he drinks much water, which could be adding to his problem.  So, tomorrow once again, I will drop him off at the vet's office and hopefully, they can figure out what's wrong with this sweet, but totally lethargic little guy. 

Back to work tomorrow, darn it.  I swear I could get used to this stay at home life.  I just need to remember that I have less than two years until retirement and that will be here before I know it! 

On Friday, right as I was heading out the door to see the Worker's Comp doctor, I received a telephone call from the Emergency Room doctor who had just received the radiologist's report from my ankle x-rays.  The radiologist said that I have multiple tiny fractures on both sides of my ankle, which weren't immediately noticable to the ER doctor when he "read" the x-rays. 

I informed him that my HMO doctor had casted the ankle anyway, due to my history (read=clumsiness!). Then I picked up the copy of the radiologist's report and headed down the mountain to the HMO's WCdoctor.  I provided him a copy of the report, which he promptly pooh-poohed, saying the treatment is still the same and he then insisted that I get new x-rays.  It's his opinion that those chip fractures may be "old" but I don't think so, based upon the way I fell on that ankle this time.  I had never injured the inside of the ankle like I did this time and if he'd review my previous x-rays from the similar injuries, he won't see any chip fractures! 

Arggghh!  Some Doctors just don't want to listen. 

I told him that I really wanted a referral to the ortho/ankle specialist and he agreed, to my surprise. He then decided that I could graduate to a "Cam Walker" cast, at least that's what I thought he called it.  It's some knee high, fancy velcro-strapped boot like contraption that allows for the patient to walk and still provides the cast support.  The best thing about it is the fact that it can be removed for a shower and sleep!  It was wonderful to take a real bath and shave my legs, both legs!  Now we'll just have to see if it will do the job and get this ankle fixed.

I attended a baby shower today, which was fun.  Gosh they make the cutest things for babies anymore!  Dakota, the mom-to-be is married Kelly who is Fly Boy's best childhood buddy!  This baby is a little girl and her name will be Janaka and she's due to arrive in January.   This will be the 4th grandchild for Kelly's mom....(hint, hint to my adult children!) and I don't have ONE yet! ::big sigh::

It's Bunco time at my house this Tuesday and I am mostly ready!  I still have to buy the prizes, but I know what I am going to get, and where, so I will do that tomorrow evening. Feeling rather domestic the other day, I made beef and cheese enchiladas, with green chile sauce to serve that night!  Mmmmmm!  There will be some awesome homemade refried beans and chips and salsa to go along with it!  Perfect meal for these cold Fall evenings!  I just hope I can remember to take the enchiladas out of the freezer that morning so they'll be ready for the oven that night. 

This brain fog is terrible!

 

How Beautiful...........

Kevin’s funeral was yesterday. The church, which must hold 300 people or so, was packed and there were people standing in the back. At least half of those in attendance were from work. Some, who worked with Kevin previously but had transferred, traveled long distances to attend. He had worked with us for 23 years; more than half his life, so it makes sense that he would have touched that many hearts.

I watched the faces of those who came to mourn and saw sadness, but mostly love and respect for this young man, who had contributed so much in his short time on earth. In my book, Healing After Loss, the author mentions a newsman describing what he sees as a line of mourners pass by the body of Robert Kennedy as he lay in state and the commentator said……

"At a time like this, how beautiful is every human face!"

As the Pastor stepped up to the podium, all voices became silent and every eye was fixed upon the speaker as he spoke of Kevin’s heavenly reward. I imagined the thoughts going through some of those minds……

Will the Pastor he be able to bring comfort and understanding with his words?

He was only 45, had a heart attack and died! Could that happen to me?

Imagine leaving your family behind! What about my wife/husband, and children? Grandchildren? Would they be all right?

Am I making my family my priority? What if today was my last day on earth?

Kevin had dreams and plans to build a hunting ranch. What about my dreams? Am I living my dreams?

Do my family and friends know how much I love them? Am I a good neighbor, friend, parent, husband or wife? Am I a living example of the goodness of Christ?

Before long, the service had ended. Then, I watched as hundreds of people with beautiful, loving faces walked solemnly by the casket to say a final good-bye.

The Land of Four Seasons

It's said around here that our town is the "Land of Four Seasons" and people joke that it sometimes happens all in one day.  I've seen it myself. 

Autumn is now upon us and it's cool, windy, rainy and damp.  We've had rain for a couple of days now.  Today, we had a tornado warning come across the radio's Emergency Broadcast Network for a county north of us.  That's not something that happens very often in these parts!  

The gold, red and brown leaves are dropping from the trees, then promptly blowing into someone else's yard. Not to worry, they'll blow away again.  Just give it a few hours or so. After the first freeze, the mulberry trees will often drop their leaves in a heap, all at once, on the same day.   With nightime temps down in the 40s it's good sleeping weather and the daytime temps are perfect for a menopausal woman! 

But, the cold days are on their way, and by Halloween, we start having freezing temps at night.  I just love a good roaring fire to warm the house and also for the asthetics.  The fireplace insert/blower that we have does a pretty good job of taking the chill off, but it is always a pain to get going so it didn't get used often.  Besides, Papa and Bubba were the fire starters in this house.  Ab and I gladly left that job up to them.  Oak wood is plentiful around here, but it's often too hard to get a fire started without a lot time, patience and  effort.  Since the wood's kept out on the back patio, it will get covered with snow and then you have to get out there in the cold to bring it in, and the all that wet snow gets trampled inside.  What a pain!

Now that Papa and Bubba are gone, I wanted something easier for Ab and I to manage and something more energy efficient.   So today I ordered us a pellet stove insert to replace what we have and it will be installed within a couple of weeks.  The store was also throwing in a ton of pellets with the purchase!  A ton!  Of course I don't have anywhere to store a ton of pellets, so the store runs a tab and you just pick up a few bags at a time until you use up your ton!  The stove has an easy, push button, electric ignition that Ab and I can manage.  And, it will feed itself via a hopper throughout the day when I am at work, and we will come home at the end of the day to a toasty warm house.  I am so excited about having a fire more often and cuddling in front of it with Ab during those cold winter evenings.  It's my understanding that pellet stoves are eventually going to replace all traditional fireplaces as they are virtually smokeless and create very little ash.

Additionally, they don't suck all the moisture out of the room like a traditional fireplace, or so I was told, so we won't need to use a tea kettle like you would with a wood stove. 

Just think...I'll soon be saying to Ab..."Come on Baby, light the fire!" 

 

More Stuff..........

When I complete this entry I am going to go put my feet up, because I’ve spent way too much time on ‘em today. My ankle is throbbing and itching beneath that cast and it’s nerve wracking.

After I picked up Greyson from the vet, I did some grocery shopping, hauled them into the house across my soggy wet grass, and put them away all by myself. That about zapped all my strength for today.

Greyson has a personality unlike any other cat I’ve ever had before. He just doesn’t act like his feisty brother. It could be that he’s just not feeling quite right after his $156 dollar bout of constipation. He’s very vocal and has the funniest raspy meow, and he uses it a lot! Cry Baby would probably be a better name for him at this point. The ladies at the vet said he was the loudest cat they’ve had lately. He probably cried so much that his throat is sore! Greyson isn’t much into playing like his brother. He’s loves to be held and will cry until I hold him, then he’ll settle down quietly. Thorn just won’t leave him alone, and Greyson doesn’t seem to stand up to him and make him quit with the aggression. I guess they’ll eventually work it out without any human intervention. But, Tam and I were watching him today and thought he might be a just little bit brain damaged. I hope not. That’s all I need! Maybe he’s just traumatized from his brief separation and captivity at the vet’s office.

More sad news. I found out that one of my subordinates passed away suddenly early Saturday morning from a heart attack. He was just 45 years old! So, so young! He was a hard working, intense guy, who loved to work all the overtime he could handle. He’d recently moved out of town and had a very long commute to work, which probably didn’t allow him much time for rest. Additionally, he was struggling to keep his diabetes under control and also taking care of an elderly family member. Such a sad loss for his family and us co-workers, as well. I am sure everyone at work is devastated and that the attendance at his upcoming funeral service will be impressive and comforting to the surviving family. This will be the 3rd funeral I’ve attended in less than 2 months. Arrrgggh! Make it stop Lord!

Even more sad news….My Aunt Sherry (married to my dad’s brother) is now having to deal with her 73 year old mother’s horrible diagnosis of Stage 3 Lung Cancer, on the heels of my father’s death. She called tonight from Colorado, where she’s visiting with her mom at this difficult time. We certainly understand each other’s anguish. My prayers and thoughts are with her and her family.

A woman from Hospice called me tonight to follow-up on how our family is doing since Papa’s death and again invite me to a Grief Support Group. I told her that we were doing fairly well, all considered and politely declined her invitation for the group. I told her that I was a voracious reader and had purchased several books on grieving, that were very helpful. I mentioned that I recalled reading in the "grief" book that they sent me, that people in mourning are often accident prone and that I certainly fit that description lately. She didn’t have to know that I was already a klutz, before I started the grieving process! She also recommended two other books, entitled When Will I Stop Hurting by June Kolf and A Hand to Hold by a local author; Lorraine Snelling who lost her daughter. I may have to add them to my library and share them when I can.

Well, since Greyson is fast asleep and quiet, (finally) I am going to sneak off to bed.

 

 

Just Stuff.........

After 4 days, my cast was getting kind of sloppy, so I headed down the mountain to have it changed.  I drove myself, which takes a little getting used to, when your driving foot is casted, but I managed.  Didn't even scare myself! 

I had to settle for a hot pink cast this time, since they had a run on the camouflage casts earlier that morning, according to the tech. I wanted to do the cammo in honor of Fly Boy, who's heading to Iraq in mid November.  But, since it looks as though I will have plenty of cast changes, I'll probably be able to get through each and every color they have in stock! 

This injury is a severe sprain and torn ligaments to the same ankle and it's been casted 4 out of 5 of the past 5 years.  All for the same reason...I turn it under somehow and fall, usually on top of it. It all stems back to a chip fracture and torn ligament about 22 years ago at work, where I slipped in some sand on a step.  I was considerably younger then, and healed rapidly.  It was no problem until I had another fall and reinjured it in the same spot.  Then again, and again, and...well you get the picture.

The last time, the doctor told me that if I reinjured it again, I may need surgery because the ligament has been damaged to the point that it's floppy and not providing the proper support.  When mentioning it to the tech today, he told me that I was going to have to be pretty forceful with the Worker's Comp doctor there at the HMO to get a referral to orthopedics! 

The tech told me that the WC doctor is just interested in getting everyone back to work and kinda pooh-poohs everything.  He said he's been known to put people back to work too soon and then they end up hurting themselves worse.  So, he told me that if the WC doctor refuses to give me an MRI and referral to the ortho specialist, I just need to say..."Ok, would you please tell me which doctor that I would need to see to get the referral?"  The tech said the doctor won't be happy, but he'll refer me. Geez, I don't get it.  The HMO is getting paid by WC, so why would he be so dang stingey about a specialist, especially with my history? 

Anyway, I see the WC doctor on Friday and I will see what he says then, before I push the issue. 

For one thing, I may not even be able to go back to work with a cast, due to the type of work I do.  It's just too risky and it's totally up to my employer, despite what the WC doctor says!  Tomorrow I will find out if they have approved me to come back to work, or not. 

While I was down there today, I took advantage of being out of the house for awhile and did a little shopping.  I hit Big Lots for some fall holiday decorations, and got some nice things as pictured above. The tapestry table runner looks so pretty on my buffet, and I got some pumpkins and candles in the same colors to go along with it.  Now if I can just keep the kittens off it!

Speaking of kittens....I totally forgot to pick up Greyson from the vet today.  It slipped my mind until I was heading up the mountain home, and by then it was too late.  Poor baby, one more night in captivity. 

I'll tell you....I can't wait till he gets home so that Thorn has someone to play with besides me. I am so scratched up by his tiny little claws and I don't think I wanna play anymore for awhile. I swear I am going to get Cat Scratch Fever!    

Thorn is a p-e-r-f-e-c-t name for this little terror.  We finally figured out where Ab came up with that name...Rick Thorne is a professional BMXr that her oldest sister knows, and Ab's just very impressed. 

Ab went to a concert (?) tonight to see "The Used".....whoever they are.  Ab was so excited and she knows her music considering she's an aspiring rock drummer.   She and a girl from school managed to talk the girl's father into taking them.  I am soooo glad I was injured and couldn't drive when all this was planned.  The poor man was going to stay in the venue, but not "near them" so as to not make himself conspicuous.  Heaven forbid!  It's nearly 11pm and they're not back yet.  I hope she can get up for school in the morning.  Well, I should say....she's going to be very tired in the morning when I get her up for school!  :)

Arrrgggghhh!  I just had to lock Thorn in Ab's bedroom because he keeps climbing up my legs with those little claws and he won't take no for an answer!  He's got a pile of kitty toys and a scratcher with all kinds of strings hanging off it, but noooooooo, he wants to play with Mama while she's on the computer!

Well, I will go catch up on some journals now.  Goodnight all...including Thorn!   

These are my favorite shoes........

John Scalzi, our "Blogfather" has given us another weekend assignment and here it is……………

Weekend Assignment #29: Your Shoes!

It's time for the Weekend Assignment -- I write up an assignment, you answer in your AOL Journal or blog, and then come back here and leave a link. Easy, simple, fun!

This week, it's the first of the reader-suggested Weekend Assignments. 

Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? A pair that you wish you could wear for everything because you like how they look or you like how your feet feel inside them? They can be a pair you have now or had when. Tell us why they were so special.

Extra credit: A picture of them!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here’s my completed assignment and Mr. Scalzi, please note my extra credit for the photograph :)

Right now, these are my favorite shoes. You’re right, they don’t even match! But, since I will be wearing a cast on this right leg for several weeks, I am loving this zippy little walking shoe…..a stylish little number, reminicent of the "Earth Shoes of the ‘70s, medium beige, trimmed in dark brown piping, with 3 adjustable velcro straps also in a medium beige color, with a light-weight multi-color, rubberized non-skid sole. You can just wear this shoe with anything. Very versatile! And boy….does it get noticed!

It’s really the lesser of two evils. No cast, no walk. Well, I guess you can consider getting around on crutches as walking. But, I hate crutches, because they take sooooo much physical strength and effort, and at this time, I don’t have an extra iota of strength. So a cast with a walking shoe strapped to it is heavenly. Freedom to move at a lot faster pace than with those stupid killer crutches!

Now concerning the other shoe….since the average "short leg cast" like mine, weighs about 3 pounds (and that’s a lot of extra weight on one side to pull when hiking up my stairs or anywhere else for that matter), I have balanced it out with this sandal. It’s a feather-weight, strappy little model, all black with white stitching, with about a 2 inch heel. Again, it can be worn with just about color cast, including the camouflage model I plan on wearing next week! The great thing about the heel on this shoe is that it really creates the illusion that I am walking like I would without two different shoes and a cast, since it makes the left leg just about the same height as the casted leg. Talk about comfort!

If that isn’t something one would just want to wear all the time, I don’t know what is!

Oh, and please, no comments about my pudgy, Fred Flintstone feet, that are sorely (pun intended) in need of a new pedicure!

Gimpy Grace~signing off!

Just call me...........

The new kitties have names.  Meet Greyson.  I know it's a pretty big name for such a little fella, but he's a State of California kitten.  Literally.  Born on state property.  And...Gray Davis was our Governor at one point, until Ahnold showed him and all those "girly men" what a real governor was all about! 

I used to think, who'd name a kid Gray? Well, now I've named a cat the same thing.  Kind of. 

Greyson still isn't feeling well, poor baby.  He just isn't acting like his fiesty brother, that Abbie named Thorn.  Who knows where she came up with that, but it works. Those little claws feel like really sharp thorns.  

Today I am going to take Greyson to the Vet and see if they can figure out what's going on with him.  He's still having difficulty with his stool and has a very sore bottom. 

Right now he doesn't want to do anything but cuddle.  And cry.  

Mama's feeling the same way as I sit here with my right leg in a cast for the 4th time in about the last 5 years. 

Just call me Grace.  I should have been named that in the first place.

(Update on Greyson...Thankfully, no Feline HIV or Leukemia (sp?) and no parasites, but they're worming him anyway.  Also, they're treating him for constipation with some stool softeners over the weekend and hopefully he'll be feeling better by Monday and get to come home.  Thorn is missing him.  Oreo couldn't care less!)

It's been a great weekend with Cindi, my best childhood friend here for a visit.

Today we did the touristy things, since it's been quite awhile since she's been here just for fun.  Our town is quickly becoming a weekend get-away or a scenic day trip for the "flat-landers" and we're rising to the occasion, with new stores, restaurants and gift shops of all kinds.

We had brunch at The Apple Shed, which was an old apple packing house, now converted into a restaurant, bakery and gift shop, all in one. You can smell it for blocks!   I had a bowl of luscious potato soup, and an open-faced, cashew-chicken salad served warm, with melted cheese, on an English Muffin.   

Besides the regular restaurant fare, they're famous for apple pies, turnovers, cinnamon rolls and about 25 different flavors of fudge that they make right there!  We sampled their Raspberry and Key Lime fudge today.  Mmmmmm!  I highly recommend both! 

The gift shop is huge with something for everyone.  It's always a good place to look for Bunco prizes too.  They've also got a collection of books and photo cards by locals, as well as specialty food items.  Of course, they sell apples too.  Lots of apples and people drive from miles around to get them from one of the many apple orchards in our community.

We drooled as we toured some model homes in a new development.  Our favorite was nearly $500,000!  How do people afford those places? 

Then we took our Sunday drive looking for a few photo opportunities and ended up at Indian Point Ostrich Ranch.  We visited their antique and gift shops, then out to see the birds, where I managed to get a few good shots.  In fact, I am hoping to make some greeting cards with the ostrich photos, to see if the owner would like to sell some in his shop, since I didn't see anything of the kind there. 

Baskin-Robbins (Home of 31 flavors) was our next stop and I grabbed two scoops of some of the featured ice cream....Truffles in Paradise, and Original Cinn.  Again, you can take my word for both flavors being absolutely scrumptious.  Cindi enjoyed her ice cream selections too, but I thought her flavors were neon, glow-in-the-dark looking, kid stuff.  Some people never grow up!  :)

We hit a few more gift shops, and then the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, where this big kid got another caramel apple (German Chocolate) and Cindi bought some of their fresh fudge.

Then, since we'd had dessert first, we settled on home-made shredded beef tacos for dinner, made from some of the catered meat that my cousin Debbie sent home with us after her father's memorial service yesterday.  Very good stuff! 

Since tomorrow is a State holiday (yes! 3-day weekend), Cindi will head home in the morning, after we have breakfast and hit just one more gift shop that we missed today. 

So many stores, so little time!  

Our Newest Additions.........

Meet our new boys, yet unnamed.  The grey one is mine, the black one is Abs.  They're brothers and were hand-tamed by some of the guys at work and I surprised Abbie with them last night.  She was thrilled as she's definitely a cat person!   

I had promised Ab a kitten when we decided that the puppy was too much trouble, since we were always working and going to school.  So, here we are.  They were born on August 23rd and are so sweet, that I decided to take two. 

I hope they're healthy because the grey baby has been having problems with his bowels, like he's constipated.  Try as he may, he couldn't go.  So we "looked in to it" (eeewww) to see if we could figure out his problem.  His bottom was dirty with dried fecal matter that may have clogged him up.   Today we had to give his little bottom a bath and I had to resort to actually cutting off some matted hair in that area.  Then we stimulated him with a little mineral oil so he'd "go."   After taking care of Papa, this procedure was nothing.

Our Oreo is not the least bit happy at these little intruders and she's making it known. 

I guess she'll have to get over it.....or not. 

"P" is for Professional

As much as I love the psychiatrist, that I refer to as my "mental health professional" I was kinda taken aback by something he said yesterday while we were discussing my mental and physical health. Since I have gained ::gulp:: 12 pounds in the last year and a half, he decided that I needed to have some blood work done, to determine my cholesterol level, among other things. So he’s zipping through the questions, one right after another and says, "Any trouble peeing? Pain or burning when you pee?"

I’m thinking to myself……"Peeing?" Did this highly educated man with a super-charged medical degree say something so totally unprofessional sounding as the word "PEE?" Call me a prude, but as a highly functional and fairly literate depressed person, I understand the basic bodily functions when the proper terminology is used by my medical "professionals." You can say "urinate" to me and I know exactly what that means. In fact, I do it several times a day. And, sometimes I’ve been known to say "I have to pee!" especially when it’s a close call! But, I wouldn’t say it at work, or to my doctor, nor do I like it when they use that word with me.

Has the medical profession had to deal with so many dummies that they have to resort to everyday jargon, just so simple-minded idiots can be treated appropriately? Geez. I am really glad my gynecologist didn’t use too many slang words when I had my pap smear recently.

Can you imagine? Oh, my virgin ears!  :)

Sadder than Sad..........

Today I visited (sounds like we were just sittin’ around chatting) my "mental health professional" for the first time since Papa’s death.

I’ve seen this doctor for the past year and a half, due to a couple of major depressive episodes. He’s really thorough, personable and very understanding. Best of all, he’s been able to treat my depression pretty successfully with meds, which will now be increased. Although, I can take some credit in my improvement, because I have been a good patient too. I’ve participated in one-on-one counseling (none of that group stuff for me), and a variety of "self-help" such as journaling, reading motivational material, my photography, etc.

The doctor says that I am a "highly functioning" depressed person, which I suppose is a blessing. He says that my medication has kept me from really going under with all this loss lately. If this is "highly" functional, I guess my oldest daughter is at the other end of the spectrum. And, that is not good.

Tonight I stopped by the bookstore and bought some more books, two of which deal with grief. The "death" section was on some really low shelves, so I just pulled up a little stool and sat there and went through them one by one, (with tears streaming down my cheeks) until I found the ones that looked like they’d be helpful. One is entitled…How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A. Rando, Ph. D. and the other is, Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief, by Martha Whitmore Hickman. Also, I bought a book entitled The Lord Is My Shepherd, Healing Wisdom of the Twenty-Third Psalm, authored by Harold S. Kushner, who wrote When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I enjoy Mr. Kushner’s simple writing style and his message always seems to hit home with me.

Last night I learned of another death in my extended family and that really hit me hard and I didn’t know the man personally. However, his beautiful daughter is married to my cousin and the two of them were very supportive of me while I dealt with my dad’s illness and death. Debbie’s father died suddenly at home and he was only 64. His wife was out of town, visiting family and came home to find him in that condition.

I can’t believe that Debbie is now dealing with a similar situation, so soon after helping me deal with my loss. She told me last night that I "inspired" her to do her father’s eulogy this Saturday for his memorial. That was really touching to hear…Bless her heart! I wish her strength and peace as she delivers her tribute to her father and I will be there in person to show my support.

If you would, please join me in saying a little prayer for Debbie and her family at this difficult time.

The Business of Living......

It was a busy and somewhat productive week and a pretty enjoyable weekend for us. I consider it progress in my efforts to get back to the business of living.

Besides all that was going on with Ab at the fair, I tried to accomplish some things around the house. You know, the domestic basics….laundry, trash, dishes….those types of things. I worked on some more Thank You notes and even got them mailed, but I still have a few to go. Those are kinda therapeutic because it requires some thought and I am also being creative, by using some of the photographs I’ve taken recently and making them into cards. They’ve turned out pretty nice, if I do say so myself!

On Tuesday I went back to Bunco for the first time in a few months. It was fun and I won a triple layered fall-scented candle that I will "re-gift." I can’t count how many candles I have won at Bunco.  Geez.  I was thinking I’d probably give it and a restaurant gift card to Ab’s Junior Farmer advisor, who was so good to her and taught her so much with her lamb project.

At lunch time I would leave work and accomplish some bill-paying or other such errands, but having to make such a quick turnaround in the short time allotted just elevated my stress level. And, then I end up grabbing some fast food to eat on the run, which does nothing for my diet or acid reflux problem. So, I figure I’d better take care of that stuff in the evenings from now on, as much as possible. My kitchen table is once again becoming stacked with unopened mail and junk that needs to be sorted, so I plan to work on some of that this afternoon.

Also at work, my new boss (a business major and a mathematical genius) and I sat down and figured out my most profitable retirement date, considering upcoming raises, an "Air Time" purchase, which is buying non-state service credit time by rolling over my 457 savings, etc.……which is……..July 1, 2006! Yippee! Less than 2 years! And, I will go out with 30 years service at age 52! There really is life after prison! Really, she’s not trying to get rid of me! In fact, she’s retiring in less than 60 days. She’s just so good at those calculations and understands it way better than I.   I am going to go look on eBay for one of those retirement countdown clocks to put on my desk! Wooo-hoo!

Ab and I ate an enjoyable breakfast at Henry’s on Saturday morning, then made plans for a donut afterwards. Instead, we settled on something from the Rocky Mountain Fudge Factory. Ab chose fudge and I got a caramel apple that was also dipped in white chocolate, and covered in dark chocolate sprinkles. For the most part….life is good!

Then we headed off to the local fabric store to purchase Ab’s supplies for the quilt project that her teacher’s starting with the students. She is so excited and I hope it creates a life long interest in the art of quilting, especially since I don’t sew. The above photo shows the fabrics that she selected and I think they will make a fantastic, colorful quilt!  In addition to the fabrics, this store had some of the most incredible folk-type holiday decorations for sale!  I just couldn’t resist the Nativity scene that I found there!  It’s made by an artist named Jim Shore, who calls his line, Heartwood Creek and in fact, I just saw some of his work for sale last night on QVC as I was flipping TV channels.  Gorgeous stuff!   The 3 Wise Men are pictured up there with Ab's fabric.

One thing that little trip to the fabric store did was spur my interest in getting busy on my holiday decorating that I really love to do. So, yesterday I pulled out the Halloween items and did some dusting and up they went. When Ab noticed it, she said…."Mom, can we get a Christmas tree this year?"  It about broke my heart, since last year, with Bubba’s absence and Papa’s hospitalization we never did get our tree up.

This year, during the holiday season, we’ll be back into the swing of things, despite it being a lot different around here with the loss of our loved ones.

The Journey Through My Losses

Having finished my second week back at work, I find my concentration level getting somewhat better. My staff tell me that I’ve made some excellent decisions on a few significant issues, and to their dismay, discovered a few significant errors in their work. However, I can’t remember what they were, so the short term memory circuits are still malfunctioning. Even so, my brain may be slowly healing. Regardless, I am seeing the psychiatrist this week and will probably ask him to increase the dosage on my anti-depressant to help.

In reality, I have had two major losses in my life in a one year period, because when Bubba ran away, it seemed just like a death. He was suddenly gone from our lives and is still gone. With no contact from him, it’s also the death of our relationship and a major change in family dynamics. I was still in mourning for that stomach-churning loss, when dealing with rapid decline in Papa’s health/illness and subsequent death. Double whammy! And…in less than a one year period, my immediate family has been cut in half.

Hospice sent me a great 52 page booklet entitled; A Journey Through Loss, with topics such as Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve, Depression, How Long Will This Grief Last, Secondary Losses, Spirituality, etc. I read through all of it last night, but will refer to it daily for help getting through this experience. Today, the message in The Feeling of Falling Apart seemed appropriate:

All loss creates a condition of grief; this is normal.

Feelings of irrationality and absurdity bombard you. You are overwhelmed. Decision-making is difficult, communicating with others strenuous. Disorganization and confusion best describe your life. You feel clumsy. (Hey…Isn't this what I said in my journal's About Me section!) Completing routine tasks seems nearly impossible. Grieving has a way of tearing you down emotionally and physically. All of this is temporary. Even though this is a new experience, you will work through this pain.

A Healing Thought: By living one day at a time, you discover simple ways to cope with devastating times.

Fly Boy's New Friend......

Inspiration is the act of drawing up a chair to the writing desk.

~Author Unknown

This morning while I lay in bed listening to the sounds of "progress"………in the form of the incredible amount of new homes being built around me, I thought about how much this neighborhood and the land that surrounds it has changed since my kids were little.  Feeling inspired, here's the story..............

My house is "in town" but when I had it built 15 years ago, it sat hidden on a set-back corner all by itself, in a small neighborhood of a few custom homes. Many of the building lots were empty for years and every once in a while a new home would go up. At first I’d be irritated that our little corner of the world was changing, but I have had the good fortune of having some great families as neighbors and I managed to adjust to the growth. We’re surrounded on three sides, by fields that were once thriving apple orchards, producing a variety of apples for which this area is famous. For reasons unknown, those orchards were abandoned, and the trees uprooted to decay like ugly skeletons upon the dry dirt. Other farmland with aging out-buildings sat unattended. It’s all now the site of hundreds of new homes in the various building stages.

While it wasn’t park like, the area was a giant backyard for the neighborhood kids, including mine. It was where Bubba and Ab rode their bikes over the specially designed "jumps" that they’d take hours to perfect, pretending they were awesome professional BMXers. It was where Bubba used the dirt "track" to push his go-kart its limit, ultimately breaking the frame. All of my kids and their friends used their imagination and the available building materials to create forts and clubhouses. It was where Barbie Dolls and GI Joes and their sports cars and jeeps, spent some special time and came home just as dirty as their little owners.

Fly Boy and Parker would spend hours there, shooting off and later searching for their model rockets. With Papa’s supervision and shared knowledge, they’d gain a greater understanding of mechanics and aerodynamics. There were fire ant colonies to disturb and colorful lizards and slithering snakes to hunt. The odor of skunk often permeated the air and sometimes they’d show up on our front porch to chow down on cat food. There were family walks in the cool summer evenings and places to sled when it snowed. Sheltering elm trees beckoned to be climbed. It was a place for quiet walks with friends and I am sure for a few stolen first kisses, but none of the kids would ever admit to something like that.

It was every kid’s dream backyard.... Safe, until mom had a fit when Bubba and Ab befriended a homeless man living among the trees and found that they took a walk with him to the local convenience store. So much for the oft repeated "no talking to strangers" speech. But, one of Bubba’s nicknames is……"Loop Hole", since he always managed to find one in every scenario that perfectly fit his wants and needs. Mom never said "Don’t go on a walk with a stranger! Let’s go Ab!" Arrrgggghhhh!

That field was also favorite spot for our local Basque shepherds who would bring their herds to graze on the dry weeds and wildflowers. The shepherd would have to remain vigilant, because sometimes the sheep would stray off into our yards and munch on our green grass and flowers. When he wasn’t watching closely enough, it became our job, lest we find we had absolutely no landscaping left, by the time they were rounded up. A neighbor can attest to how much destruction 60 unattended sheep can accomplish in your average size front yard.

One day when Fly Boy was young, he called me into the backyard saying, "Can I keep it Mom? Please? Huh, can I keep it puhleese?"  That was my first up close encounter with a sheep; a sickly sheep at that. Snot running, crying, skinny and it’s wool filled with foxtails, this poor creature was left behind when the flock headed off to greener pastures.  Literally.

Fly Boy, ever the animal lover, decided it needed a new home…….in our backyard!

"Well, first of all son we live in the city and we can’t…..I said, as calmly as a mother could be, being the proud new owner of a horribly ill sheep, yet surely sounding suitably concerned for it’s well-being, I yelled…."What the hell were you thinking?"

"Mom, it followed me home!" he said. Swell, I thought. Now what am I going to do with this snotty nosed sheep that can’t live in my backyard? So, I called Papa, who was living nearby and he had to come see for himself! A few minutes later, Papa and a neighbor arrived with a pickup truck. They instructed Fly Boy and his friends to load that animal in the back of the truck so they could hunt down the shepherd and this little guy’s long lost friends.

I watched as the dust rose in the field as they traveled off behind a row of trees in search of the shepherd. When they found him, he said, "No speaky English" and used some universal sign language that Papa quickly understood to mean that he didn’t want that sheep. Kinda like a Basque/English combination for……"That damn sickly lookin’ poor excuse for a sheep ain’t mine. Nope, let’s see here……59 sheep.

Yep...That’s exactly how many I am supposed to have! Right Sparky?" while he smiled and kindly patted the sheepdog’s head.

Papa wasn’t no dummy (Okie speak) and he used some universal sign language his own self, along with some words that probably sounded like…."Sum Beach" to the shepherd and then unloaded that cryin' animal right at his feet!

Heading back to the house, Papa smiled as the dust from his tracks covered the shepherd, who now had 60 little lambs.

And that my friends, was the last time we had anything to do with a snotty nosed sheep, until Jake, of course.

Going, Going, Gone.....Sold @ $3.25 a pound!

This is a photo of Abbie today on the auction stage, posing Jake as he was was purchased for $3.25 a pound!

Since he weighed in at 121 pounds, she's going to make a little profit which will go in her savings account.  Of course, she'd rather spend every dime at someplace like Hot Topic the minute she gets her hands on it, but I am making her save at least half of the money.  I had her believing that she was going to have to pay me back for the cost of the lamb and his feed, but tonight I surprised her and told her that it was my donation for doing such a good job! 

Next year she's going to have to purchase her lamb with this year's profits, and she's decided she'd like to raise an Oxford lamb.  Jake is a cross-breed, but I'm not sure about the parent's breed.

I don't know what's up with her tie in this picture, and geez, why do they make them wear white clothes for livestock projects.  You have no idea how dirty those kids can get in just a few minutes wrestling with those animals.  Sometimes I got dirty just standing near him.  Today, probably as a final goodbye as we walked to the auction barn, he slung some slobber on my arm.  Yuk!  He was pretty reluctant to head over there as it was and made some noise as he was heading up the ramp to the stage.  Poor baby....he may have known his fate. 

Those auctioneers are awesome to watch, but I have a hard time understanding them since they are going so fast.  But I guess the buyers know what they're saying.  I learned tonight that there is a school for people to attend to become an auctioneer!  Who woulda thought? 

After the auction we had a delicious potluck with all the kids and parents, then it was time for some fun.  Ab got her allowance and an extra 20 bucks from me and then she and her friend were off and running to the midway for the rides. 

Trish's family and I went through the exhibits and I chowed down on a wonderful "Apple Dumpling" from the Teen Challenge booth.  I had one last year and it was heavenly!  It's a cored green apple, filled with a buttery, cinnamon and sugar mixture, then baked with an outer crust and served hot with a cream cheese frosting.  Oh my gosh...it is so good! 

Good thing they're only available once a year!  Mmmmmmm!