The Best and Worst Times of My Life-2004

This year brought me unbearable sadness as I dealt with the last few months of my father's life.  I was honored to take care of him at home, right up until his failing body released his sweet spirit.  In spite of the pain I felt while watching his disease progress and his subsequent death, I grew and learned from the experience.  I tapped in to an inner strength that went beyond what I thought I possessed, especially the fortitude gained from nearly 24 years of prison work.  That "Never let them see you sweat!" facade that I've had to wear all those years often made me feel somewhat infallable, but couldn't compare to the strength I needed to watch my father die.  For that, I am thankful. 

In 2004 I took some major financial risks, with a little prompting from FlyBoy, who's proving to be a great money manager.  I really had to leave my comfort zone, follow my gut instincts, trust the judgement of others and take a chance on the real estate market.  I have benefitted beyond my wildest dreams and for that financial security, I am extremely grateful.    

Tonight, my real estate agent provided Ab and I with a New Years Eve feast in the condo that I purchased for a rental.  The beautiful centerpiece pictured above, adorned our dinner table, ladened with crusty bread, salad, green beans,  cheesy potatoes and the perfectly cooked prime rib, with creamy horseradish sauce.  For her kindness, friendship and counsel, I am very blessed. 

My loving family and closest friends (including my journal buddies) have been sources of comfort, joy and help during this year when I have needed it most.  I thank God for their presence in my life. 

Happy New Year to you and yours! 

Unexpected Gifts

Never did I expect to make lasting friendships when I began journaling here.  My most frequent reader/commenter, supporter and cheerleader is Lisa, from Coming to Terms with Middle Age and I am blessed to have her in my life.  She never fails to touch my heart with the most appropriate comment, when it's needed most. 

I had the very good fortune to meet her and spend a delightful day in her company this past summer, proving to her husband that I was not an axe murderer after all.   And, in the not too distant future, I hope to be able to spend some more time with her while she shows me the sights of her adopted home state.  We'll be the ones with the cameras around our necks hoping to get a perfect shot for our journals. 

Anyway, she recently wrote me and asked for my home address and told me that she was creating some ornaments for her family and wanted to send me one.  I was so touched, and in my effort to try to make Ab's Christmas the best ever, I asked if she'd be kind enough to send it to Ab instead of me. 

But, this special lady sent both of us something beautiful and it was so appreciated.  Truly an unexpected gift from the heart! 

She explained that since she'd had her nails done for Christmas, she was having a hard time creating her ornaments.  So, she'd given up her plan to make the ornaments and decided to BUY me some instead, but after searching long and hard, she didn't find anything she liked. 

Lisa wrote, "Nothing good enough to send to a special friend in need of some cheering up this holiday season.  In the end, I hauled out my "craft box," sat down, determined to make something from the heart, and to heck with the stupid nails.  These are what I came up with...I hope you like them."

Like them?  I love them!  Wouldn't you?   My photo does not do them justice, but I think you can see the incredible detail in those hand-beaded beauties!

To think that she spent that time creating something so beautiful for me really touches my heart.  They were lovingly packed in gorgeous Christmas boxes, sent with a "Packing List" that was actually her holiday letter to us. 

Also, she sent Abbie a lovely, hand carved Santa in a sleigh that she found in a shop. Ab found it incredible that someone who didn't even know her would send her a special gift at Christmas. 

That's truly what Christmas is all about! 

Thanks again my dear friend!  God Bless!

 

For some reason this year, I didn’t quite have the level of holiday sadness that normally affects me. That ol’ pity-party feeling-because-I-am-usually-thoroughly-overwhelmed, extremely-over-tired, over-doing-it-and-so-sure-that-I-am-unappreciated-since-if-it-wasn’t-for-me- NO-ONE,-I-MEAN-not-one-single-soul-around-here-would-ever-have-a-Christmas…BLUES! You know, the standard, Woe is me, I am woman stuff!

This year, with Papa gone, it was entirely left up to me, so I couldn’t express my annual dissatisfaction that I had to do it all! Again.

Perhaps it was the focus I had on ensuring that Ab had the best Christmas ever, and seeing it come to be that kept me filled with the proper spirit.

Maybe it was the delight I took in making greeting cards out of my photographs and giving a package of them as Christmas gifts to people who really appreciated my creativity. One recipient kindly said, "I see some Ansel Adams going on here!"

Certainly shopping for little Riley; like she was my grand-baby, instead of my niece, added to the enjoyment. And, getting special charms and bracelets for my sisters-in-law, daughters and one to match for Riley! Now that was fun!

Or, the suspense and wonder when I was trying to figure out the "very special" gift that my children were planning for me this year. "Something that" Tam said, "Papa would get for you if he were here!" as she asked me to kick in a little of Papa’s money to help them with the purchase. I wracked my brain trying to figure that one out, since they say I have "everything!"

One of their clues caused me to think it was one of those stupid little round robot vacuums that returns to where it lives when it’s finished. Thankfully it wasn’t, because I would have had to hurt their feelings and return it. Because as handy as it might be, I’d probably trip over it!

Instead, I will be videotaping our family fun in the new year with my hand held video camera! Starting with the family trying out Ab’s new karaoke machine! I may even try belting out my version of Jail House Rock!

 

Thank you. Thank you very much!

 

No videotaping please!

Anything you sing may be used against you………

More from Mortaritaville

This is a photo that I took last night at Trish's where we had a big family Christmas dinner, minus our FlyBoy who spent his "holiday" in Iraq.  I chose this scene for this entry because of the Americana/mail theme, and especially the I WANT YOU...Uncle Sam poster on the front of the building.  

Steve has an amazing TrueValue/Ace Hardware Christmas Village that he lovingly puts in place each year, and it takes him about 2 days to complete.  It spans the entire living room and dining room, covering every flat space and even under a table in the foyer of their beautiful home.   Then, by the time New Year's Day arrives, he painstakingly puts each piece back in it's original box, marked with the date of purchase.  I am awed by his patience!

Thankfully, FlyBoy called us on Christmas day!  He said he was given the choice of flying or going for the holiday run around the base, and of course he'd chosen to fly.  But, instead they had a wet, muddy holiday which prevented him from flying due to the low cloud ceiling.  He said the rain doesn't really penetrate the sand and creates a terrible, muddy mess. 

In the Army tradition, the troops at his camp were served a huge Christmas dinner by their commanders.  Dinner included all the expected holiday main courses, plus steak and LOBSTER tails! He said it was an excellent meal!  I am grateful that the military will go to the expense of feeding the soldiers so well, all considered.

"Hawk Eye" is the new nickname that my son has been bestowed by his fellow pilots.  I guess because of his excellent eyesight and former military police observation skills, he's developed a real gift for following his gut instinct and checking out things that appear out of the ordinary.  As a result he's recently found IEDs (explosive devices) and other freshly dug bomb sites in fields, etc.  The ground troops are then called in to blow them up so the military convoys are not hit!   The most recent IED he found was again stuffed inside a dead dog along the highway, that appeared to have a leash on it.  FlyBoy said he got to thinking that the Iraqis never walk dogs with a leash.  So he went back to check it out and discovered the "leash" was really a cable for a bomb. 

Good going Soldier!

Peace on Earth........

Update from Mortaritaville and the Homefront

I jumped when the telephone rang last night at 10:30 p.m., fearing the worst as one does with those late night calls. Noticing the Caller ID showed Maryland, I wondered who’d be calling from there at that hour. Then it dawned on me that it was probably FlyBoy, as his calls from Iraq are routed through the Eastern states.

Excitedly, I answered and heard my sweet son’s voice. "What are you doin’?" I asked. He told me that he was about to fly but on the way to the airfield, the base began getting mortared! Since he was waiting for the "all clear" before heading out toward his helicopter, he decided to call his Mom! Is that guy special or what? I can’t believe that he had the presence of mind to think of someone else at the very moment his life was in danger! I was freakin’ out at the thought that his base was under attack at that very moment and told him so! He said, "Mom, it happens all the time!" Swell, like that’s gonna help me sleep tonight.

Damn this war!

He sounded somewhat depressed and I commented on it. (Like who wouldn’t be depressed to be in that kind of situation) FlyBoy was missing his new bride and a little upset because he was having difficulty getting in touch with his Fall Girl due to their schedules and the time difference. We chatted and I told him about the package I was sending, and the children from Mrs. Walker’s class that "adopted" him, who were preparing letters to send to him this week.

When he began talking about his military missions, he began to sound like his old self; animated and assured. He said he’s flown about 50 hours so far, averaging about 5 hours a day, or night…in most cases. Then he told me a story about a copter that cut some power lines and went down right in front of him the other night. He said he was the 3rd helicopter behind them and they were flying without lights and it’s pitch black despite their night vision equipment. The guys in that crash were very lucky to have survived without serious injury, FlyBoy said. As a result of that crash, some good has come from it, as the policy has changed to where they are now flying just 200 ft above the ground so they’ll miss power lines. (At least I think that’s what he said…or was it 400 feet above?)

He said he’d seen his first human casualty… a member of the Iraqi National Guard who’d been murdered by insurgents and left alone in the desert. I wondered about the Iraqi’s loved ones and if they’d ever know what happened to that man who gave his life for his country and the fact that they’d never know how it affected my young FlyBoy.

Or me.

Damn this war.

YUK!  Gag!  I just had to throw away my brother's nasty, half-full spit cup that he left on top of my dryer!  At least it had a lid on it!  How do they stand that chew?  Blech!

The boys and their families came up the mountain today to help me sort through Papa's boxes of paperwork and his personal belongings.  We made a lot of progress, shredding papers-some dating back into the 60s, throwing out a variety of outdated software and computer accessories, bagging up some clothing for charity, and tossing out some stuff in the trash. 

Between Papa and my mother, I know where I got my pack-rat mentality.  It was amazing what he kept and as I offered up that comment, I had to admit that he was probably looking down from above saying....Well, missy, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black!  

Of course we kept a huge box full of what I call everything sentimental...family photos, his college papers, certificates and membership cards, performance evaluations, genealogy research, wedding announcements and greeting cards from us kids, etc.

Justin came upon a piece of red scratch paper with Papa's very distinct handwriting, that brought me to tears.  I don't know if he wrote it, but apparently he liked the quote well enough to save it and I will cherish it from now on. 

If I had to describe Papa in one paragraph, this is what it would be..........

Let everything you do be your religion and everything you say be your prayer. 

It was my father, through and through.    

Mortaritaville

FlyBoy made it safely to Anaconda, his new base in Bahlad, (pronounced Buh-lawd) Iraq. Anaconda, affectionately known as "Mortaritaville" is the largest support base in the country.

According to an article in the Seattle Times, Anaconda, north of Baghdad (not shown on map), is reportedly nicknamed Mortaritaville because of the frequency of mortar/rocket attacks on the base. As of mid-October 2004, the article reported, the facility is home to roughly 22,500 US troops and an additional 2,500 contractors, had been on the receiving end of roughly two attacks daily since July.

FlyBoy experienced this for the first time yesterday, when they were hit several times causing the air raid siren to blare for about 5 minutes. Apparently the mortars have a very distinct sound when they fly by and then hit with a "thud" and the first one he heard definitely got his attention! At the time of his call he did not know if there were any injuries or casualties as a result of that attack which happened shortly before he called me at work. As we were talking about the base being attacked, the telephone went dead and I began to PANIC. Fortunately, he called back to let me know everything was fine and he had accidentally unplugged the telephone line from the handset!

He told me that he has flown two missions so far. One night they flew without any lights to avoid being hit in flight. Besides the weaponry, he said wires and poles are a significant concern when they are not using lights.

He said that it was the first time that he really got scared, realizing that there were people there planning to shoot them out of the sky! I told him that kind of fear is healthy and what will keep him alive! Especially since that kind of flying is a lot different than his war games training in the States!

During one fight recently, he said they spotted an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) that the insurgents had stuffed inside a dead dog and left along the roadway. Ewww. He said that it’s not uncommon for them to violate human bodies that way as well. Yuk.

I asked FlyBoy what I could send him in a package and he said, "Don’t send any soap or all that other stuff they say we need! We’ve got tons of that!" He said that the kids love the soldiers because they fill up ziplock bags with various overstocked items and drop it down to them out of the helicopters! He mentioned that one guy received a nice Hickory Farms package that they’d all enjoyed for dinner the night before and that he’d like something like that, or beef jerky.

So, I am off to go shopping to fix that young man up with whatever he wants!

Be SAFE FlyBoy!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Trish's husband Steve, must feel like he's got two wives.  Poor guy!  Bless his heart, he's really so good to me and Ab. 

They shared with me that when Papa was on his deathbed, and I wasn't in the room, he asked Trish and Steve if I was going to be okay.  It brought tears to their eyes and they promised they'd take care of me, saying I'd be fine!  I swear they really are trying to live up to that promise!  I am so blessed to have such good friends in  my life. 

After Steve worked his fanny off all day helping a friend move, he came over this evening and hung some Christmas lights on our house.  He then called me while I was on my way home from work and told me to meet him at KMart, to pick out a tree so he could take it home for me, drag it in the house and put it in the stand!  What a man!  I always tell Trish that she doesn't know how lucky she is to have a guy like that!

Ab decorated the tree while the kittens terrorized her and the poor tree.  I think we may have to redecorate it daily. 

They took down one ornament for each one she put in place.  Oh, and the beaded silver snowflake garland was pretty entertaining too.  The little devils!  Ab threw up her hands in despair and decided to go to bed.  The kittens have stopped temporarily to grab a nap after all that exhausting fun. 

I shudder at the thought of what the tree will look like when I get up in the morning.

Thank God tomorrow is Friday. 

 

Snowflakes and Shivers

 

This photo is of the projected snowflakes on the ground at Knott's Berry Farm, that I snapped last night.  They were so pretty!  Even though there was no real snow on the ground, it was super cold down there and I was chilled to the bone all day.  I had forgotten how cold 50 degrees can be in an Orange County Winter.  After all, it's only about 10 miles from the beach!  It's a different cold than we experience up here in the mountains and I wore a light t-shirt and sweater, and didn't bring a jacket.  Brrrrrrr. 

It drizzled lightly for several hours and the gift shops were selling out of the bright yellow plastic rain slickers (with Snoopy and an umbrella on the back) that they had on hand for times like that!   We bought several.  Although, it still wasn't enough to keep me from freezing all day.  I thought about buying a sweatshirt, but really didn't find one that I was interested in spending 40 dollars or more for, so I toughed it out.  About 6 pm, I found a nice hooded jacket in the Snoopy gift shop. It was better than any ol' sweatshirt and for a little more money, I got something that I will wear often.  I just wish I'd found it earlier in the day.

The rain didn't damper the kids' enthusiasm for going on the rides, even those that would wet them some more!  Ab and John rode home with damp clothing, and I made them sit on the plastic rain gear so they wouldn't mar my leather car seats.  I had the heat in the car cranked way up and loved it, until I got so warm I couldn't breathe. 

As far as birthdays go, it was a pretty dreary one.  No cake, no ice cream, no presents, no birthday dinner.  ::pout::  Since we couldn't get in to any of Knotts' restaurants, we ended up grabbing cheeseburgers at In and Out on the way home. In and Out makes the BEST cheeseburgers, so I didn't feel too bad and I treated myself to a milkshake since I didn't have any birthday ice cream.  Tam and Ab will bake me a cake tomorrow. 

Oh, and we did have a little excitement with our caravan on the way down there.  I am really greatful that I didn't get much damage to my car when I rear-ended Trish's nephew's big ol' truck on the LA freeway!  Dang those people coming to a screeching halt like that!  And me with a cast....geez.  I am also really greatful that Trish's relatives think of me as family...they won't sue me for whiplash!

 

My mother would just trip out if she were still here on earth.  She'd say...."I can't possibly have a daughter that is 51, since I am only 39!"  She hung on to that 39, just like Jack Benny for as long as she could.  I would have liked to hang on to 50 for a little bit longer, but tomorrow it's gone.

I have decided I am just not old enough to be 51. 

Fifty was fine.  I couldn't wait to turn 50 and up until just about a month ago, I was still telling people that I JUST had my 50th birthday.  I celebrated for the entire year! 

Last year, in November, I celebrated my upcoming 50th birthday by taking a 7 day cruise to Mexico.  It was supposed to be a family cruise, but Bubba ran away just days before we were to leave and Papa was very ill and recovering from unexpected surgery.  I came so very close to cancelling, but I would have lost quite a bit of money, so Papa insisted I go.  My brothers spent the week here with Papa and they pampered him and had some quality time as well.  It was good for all concerned.  

So, Tam and Trish were my substitutes and they were thrilled.  We had an absolutely wonderful time in Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta and my favorite, Cabo San Lucas.  It was a vacation of a lifetime that brought a lot of joy during a very stressful point in our lives.  

Ten days later we had a 50s themed party with a disc jockey, and about a hundred guests.  Papa was in the hospital again, and Bubba was still gone, but I felt loved and honored by all that attended.  It was one of the best days of my life, in one of the worst years I've ever experienced. 

Now I am starting a brand new year, a little older and a little wiser.  I am looking forward to less sadness and more fun with my family and friends.  I plan on reducing the clutter in my life, and strengthening my faith.  I will create more dreams and love more intensely.

And...tomorrow I will celebrate my birthday with Ab and her friends at Knott's Berry Farm.

Happy Birthday to ME! 

 

   

 

I wrapped myself in my grief yesterday.

Like a blanket pulled tight around me, it was comfortable and warm. Cleansing, says the book. Staying in my pajamas for the day, I didn’t even run a brush through my hair or wash my face. The tears came easily and I let them fall, without the worry that my makeup would be mussed.

Returning to the safety of my bed, I read my ‘self-help’ book on grieving and truly grieved. Hot, searing tears burned into my cheeks and cooled on my pillow.

I prayed. I slept. Three solid hours of relief from the conscious pain of missing my dad, now gone for three months exactly.

Today, I am not much better. But I will get dressed and try to accomplish something.

Maybe, even put on some make-up.

The Day After

The problem with not preparing the Thanksgiving meal yourself is the lack of leftovers. When a guest in someone else’s house you just don’t ask for at least enough turkey, dressing and cranberry sauce "to go" to make just one sandwich the next day.  Unless of course, I was a guest at my Aunt Sherry's house!  She'd have fixed me up!  There’s nothing like a cold, white meat turkey sandwich, topped with a little stuffin’ and a dollop of cranberry sauce for lunch the day after Thanksgiving. ::Big Sigh::

I guess I will just have to do the Christmas meal this year.

After reviewing the huge stack of yesterday’s after Thanksgiving sales flyers, I was thrilled when I heard Tricia and her daughter were going to brave the crowds, and I could tag along.

But, they were leaving early. O’dark thirty early.  Ick.  I wavered. Then her dad, someone with greater sense than I, reminded me that I had a cast on my leg and said "What if someone steps on your toes?!"

Geez, what was I thinking? Common sense prevailed and since I am never one to miss a bargain, I just gave Tricia my shopping list. What a friend!

At 7:30 this morning I called her on her cell phone to see how the shopping was going. Laughing, she said, "Oh you should be sooooo glad you didn’t come along!"  I could hear all the commotion in the background and she said she’d been waiting in line at Sears for an hour to pay for her "bargains!"

Knowing what a busy woman she is, I said, "Your time is worth way more than those great deals!"

And, being the friend that I am, I said, "Oh, I just remembered one more thing that I need you to pick up at Target."

Well, after all, I am in a cast!

Thanksgiving Flake

Happy Thanksgiving!

It’s 12:30 pm, Thanksgiving Day and I just finished off a McDonald’s Mighty Kid’s Cheeseburger Meal. Had I not been stood up this morning by my own daughter, right about now I’d be pulling into my brother’s beautiful new home for a Thanksgiving feast that was to be served at 1:00 o’clock. I’m pissed.

On Tuesday evening we solidified our plans. We, as in the two of us, were going and she was going to drive, due to my cast and the length of the trip. She promised and I informed her that I expected her to keep her promise. Why would it be necessary to even express my concern that she might flake out on me, you ask. Like Papa always said….Past behavior is indicative of future behavior.

Last night, I visited with her and her boyfriend and reminded Tam of the departure time, bright and early around 11:00 and she rolled her eyes. The beautiful princess usually doesn’t do mornings. I said, "Don’t you dare flake out on me!" This morning I telephoned her house at 10:00 a.m. and left a message saying I was on schedule. The fact that she didn’t answer the telephone meant that she wasn’t out of bed yet. At 10:45, I left another message saying that I was dropping something off at a friends, and that I expected her to call me on my cellphone or be at the house at 11:00. Yeah, right.

By 11:30, I decided to try to make the trip by myself, since I hadn’t heard from Sleeping Beauty. The more I thought about her inconsiderate behavior, the madder I got. And, I decided that my frame of mind, along with my cast made me a greater risk as a driver in busy holiday traffic, so I called my family to apologize for my last minute cancellation. Fortunately, I’ll get to join some family friends for their meal at 3:00 pm, here in town.

I knew this would happen. I just can’t depend on her for much of anything. It’s sad, I know. I would be horrified if people ever thought that way about me.

It’s a good thing she doesn’t have children.

(Okay, an update.  She's sick, really sick.  Maybe I was a little hard on her! Plus, to add insult to injury, besides pissing off her Mom, when she called in sick to work for tomorrow, she got fired!  What a Thanksgiving!)

Needles and Nutcrackers

My very best ex-boyfriend once told me, "Be careful what you wish for, because it just might come true!" In this case, I was wishing for some specialized treatment for my weak and unstable ankle that I should have received to begin with and boy did I get it!  I was probably given the works for being so whiny with the Worker’s Comp doctor before I finally got to see the orthopedist. I should have snatched a peak at the WC doctor’s notes when the Ortho doc left the room! I imagine, in some cryptic doctor speak they read…."Would’ya fix this drama queen’s ankle ::wink, wink:: and do her up right, because I have about had it with her self-diagnosis and complaints!"

Or, maybe it was payback for all the times I teased Ab when she was complaining about some minor ailment, and I said…"Sure honey, I’ll take you to the doctor, it’s going to be fine after he gives you a shot or maybe he’ll just amputate!"

That’ll teach me!

I’d often heard about cortisone injections. Yesterday I experienced one and it was the worst pain I’d experienced since childbirth. How’s that for dramatic? Oh yeah. He stuck that needle down into the inside ankle joint from the top of my foot with out the benefit of anesthesia and that cortisone burned into my ankle to do it’s wonders!  YIKES.  I nearly jumped horizontally from that table and jerked my leg back in pain. (The part about Nutcrackers comes later..but oh how I wished…He was just in the right position!) Anyway, I do believe one should be unconscious for such a procedure and IF there is ever a next time, I’d better be. Nah.  I will NEVER knowingly have a cortisone injection again.

Then if that wasn’t enough, he decided to "immobilize" my ankle once again by placing it in a fiberglass cast, in my choice of holiday colors. I chose a brilliant blue, since it matched what I was wearing yesterday. It won’t go well with the uniform, but what the heck, at least it’s a walking cast. This time I will be immobilized (ha) for 3 weeks. When the ortho tech noticed he was casting my right leg he said, "Did you drive yourself here today?" When I told him I had, he said, "Well you can’t drive with a cast!" He explained that I could be found at fault in an automobile accident, while wearing a cast on the driving leg, even if it wasn’t my fault. I told him that I am now an expert at driving with a cast, having had that ankle in a cast at least annually for the past 5 years! Besides, I was now 2 hours away from home, and certainly couldn’t sit there waiting for two people to come get me and my car back home. But I said, I will check with my insurance company after all.

I made it home safely, but took advantage of the shopping opportunities in the big city. There’s a wonderful store called "Home Goods" that has unique closeout odds and ends, to include holiday decor, furniture, bedding and bath, dishes, art, etc., that I love to stop at when I am in the area. So this is the Nutcracker part of the story.

Last year we didn’t have a Christmas tree or much of a celebration for Ab’s birthday which is also in December. She didn’t protest and was pretty understanding considering she was just turning 12 years old.  But I knew it just wasn’t the same for her, especially with all that was going on.  Her brother had just run away in mid November, Papa was hospitalized up until Christmas Eve, she was just getting over a bad case of pneumonia, and I was terribly exhausted and sad.  Sadder than sad, if the truth be known. How I managed to pull a Christmas together is beyond me right now.  I just don’t remember, but I know it was unlike any we’d celebrated before.

Recently, Ab asked about this coming Christmas. She said, "Can we have a tree and decorations this year? Remember Mom? We didn’t have any decorations last year and it just didn’t seem like the holidays around here."  I assured her we’d have a bang-up Christmas and I plan on keeping my promise, despite the cast and the fact that our family is now down by 50%.  I will hire someone to put lights on our house, and Ab and I will put up the prettiest Christmas tree ever!  Together, we’ll shop for new ornaments, which should make it more fun. I was kinda getting tired of the same old ornaments we had anyway.

So, yesterday at Home Goods, I got a start on our new Christmas decor by starting a Nutcracker collection, in various sizes. They are beautiful and they bring back memories of a dress-up day, when Abbie and I went to see the amazing Nutcracker Ballet a few years ago.

It’s going to be a blessed Christmas at our house this year!

This morning I awakened to a light dusting of snow on my car and covering our beautiful mountains.  By the time I headed off to work, any snow on the streets had melted, which makes the drive a lot easier and safer.  That's my kind of snow! Too bad Mother Nature couldn't just make it blanket the landscaping so it would be pretty and not so hazardous.  And, with all the "flat-landers" we've had move here, it's down-right scary out there on our roads in the snow and ice.  I just wish they'd slow down, for everyone's safety.

Tonight I arrived home to a sparkling, clean house, thanks to a wonderful lady who I found recently, who just happens to clean like I would, IF I cleaned house.  She's wonderful and I am so grateful to have her.  She even does windows, laundry and ironing, all in about 1/4 of the time it would take me and she's nearly 60 years old!   Makes me glad to have a civil service job and retirement, so I am not having to work  that hard when I am her age.  Bless her heart!  But, she says she loves housekeeping and she's so good at it, so we both benefit. 

Tomorrow I'm off to the big city to see the orthopedist about my ankle and ligaments.  It may be too late to do much good for this injury, but we'll see.  The ankle is far from healed, and the ligament always pops and sometimes it feels as if I have a cramp in the bottom of my foot that won't turn loose.  I am not wishing for surgery, but with all the bone chips and the stretched out ligaments, it may be necessary.  I would just like to remain vertical and on my feet when necessary, especially in public! 

Since I didn't have a dinner partner, I went out to dinner by myself, just like a big kid, for the 2nd night in a row.  I'm normally not bothered by that if I only do it once in awhile, but night after night can get a little lonely.  Tonight I felt like some Japanese and I had a delicious meal of teriyaki chicken and veggies, with a glass of plum wine.  If I could make my veggies taste like theirs, I wouldn't be fat because I'd fill up on them every day.  Yum.

It's another short week at work because of the holiday, so we're cramming 5 days worth of work into 3 days.  Since I'm off tomorrow, that may make it worse for me by the time  Wednesday arrives.  And we are down about 4 managers who are off on sick leave!  Arrgghhh.  I get a headache just thinking about it.  Maybe surgery isn't such a bad idea after all!  Nah.   

Goodnight all! 

Today I enjoyed my peaceful and warm home, watching chicken-feather looking snowflakes fall, but never long enough to stick.  It's the second snowfall of the season and I stayed in all day to avoid it, except to run out for something to eat. 

I've had a very restful, yet productive weekend in making strides to "renovate" my life.  Over the past few years, with Bubba's behavior, Papa's illness and my depression taking it's toll, I let the housework and home maintenance deteriorate. With my remodeling and my focused de-cluttering, I plan on changing the look and comfort level of our home. 

I think I was almost turning into my mother!  Heaven forbid!  Having strong "collector" genes, it's hard for me to let things go and then we get overwhelmed with stuff.  This stuff has got to go and I am whittling it down a little at a time.  

Too bad the weather's a bit nippy for yard and garage sales, because we could bring in some serious pocket change.  But, there again, garage sales are too much work.  I equate it with grocery shopping.......Grab stuff off the store's shelves and pile all of it in your basket, then take it out and put in on the belt for the cashier, then load all that stuff in your car, then head home and take it all inside, unload the bags and put your purchases away on your own shelves. If I were planning a yard sale, (since we don't have a  garage), I'd have take all the stuff to whatever area I plan to store it until the big day, then haul it outside and figure prices, hang out near it, then bring whatever's left inside that evening, and do it all again the next morning.  Then if there's anything left, you have to pack it up and take it to a charitable organization. So, I might as well do that to begin with and be done with it, leaving with a tax write-off and a less cluttered house. 

This morning I was able to pack up two trash bags of clothing from my room and I now can see the corner of the bed where the clothing sat waiting for me in a nice big pile.  Progress. 

I have made arrangements for a man to haul away some junk from my back yard, such as two old garage doors, a broken basketball hoop/pole, and my brother's burned up car from his teenage years.  The firewood that I can no longer use because I replaced the fireplace with a pellet stove, will be given to a neighbor to free up space on my patio.  I will list the car trailer that's sitting on deflated tires, in our regional Camera Ads to be sold to someone who can use it for its intended purpose.  After the back yard is cleaned up, and the new fence is in place, we will renovate that area and finally use it for its intended purpose, as well. 

But for now, it's time to rest.  Goodnight, and again, Happy Birthday Uncle Lee!

 

Giving Thanks

~Bowing to the Blogfather, with gratitude for helping me with the dreaded ~ tilde problem!  Who knew?  He did!  Bless you John!

After a what she considered a tortuous week of homebound restriction with her "Annoying" mother, Ab has left the building. Her teacher reports an amazing change in attitude and effort and only one missing assignment that can and will be completed during the week-long (geez, when did that happen?) Thanksgiving break. Ab is truly thankful! She was invited to San Diego to join a girlfriend who’s spending the holiday week there with her mom and stepfather and I allowed her to go, with an advance on her allowance too. I am probably off the annoying list, at least temporarily and I will give thanks for a week without the headaches that accompany parenting an alien…ah, hem…a teenager. This too shall pass.

The Christmas Club check has arrived and I will head down the mountain today for the "Pre-Thanksgiving" sales and knock off a few items on the Christmas list. It used to be that the day after Thanksgiving was the best sales day, but around here they’re starting this weekend. Is there really any reason for retailers NOT to have a sale anymore?

I just got back from having breakfast with Tam and one of her best friends; Dana. It was too much fun for first thing in the morning. Dana can keep me laughing with her woeful tales of a young single woman’s search for the perfect man.  Like the song says....It's like trying to find Atlantis!

Since Tam now has a part-time waitress job I strongly suggested she pay the check, (just one time please..humor mom, will ya) since she brought home 100 bucks in tips last night! At nearly 32 years old, she still EXPECTS mama to maintain her in the lifestyle she’s grown accustomed to, so a little guilt trip from mom once in a while does the trick.

Mission accomplished. I left the tip.

 

I am finishing up my week of being the "on-call" administrator for work.  We go from Friday afternoon, until the following Friday morning, when it's the next person's turn.  For the most part, everything's been quiet and I haven't been awakened in the middle of the night once this week!  ::knocking on wood since I have two more nights to go:: 

It seems that when I have the duty, I am never quite able to sleep soundly because I am at a heightened level of anticipation, thinking that the phone is going to ring just any second, with someone reporting the latest crisis. And...in this type of work.....things  much like a child's illness, are always worse in the middle of the night.  I will be glad to have it over with for a few months, until it's my turn again.

Other news.....My rental house was relisted with the same agent, and it sold within hours after putting it on the Multiple Listing Service!  They didn't even get a sign put up.  I accepted a full price offer, which was $5000 more than the previous listing price and it's already in escrow. 

I finally had to follow my gut instincts when debating about whether to sell or keep it for awhile longer since the homes in this area are appreciating so fast right now. 

I have owned the home for about 20 years, and it's been a rental for about the last 15 years.  Since my oldest kids and I lived in the house for about 5 years when I first moved to this area, I had some emotional ties to it.  It was all I could afford after my divorce, and frankly, it was better than the home I had left in Southern California.  However, in this town, it was on the "other side of the tracks" and in an area where most of the homes were owned by investors and were rentals.  Somany of them were in pretty bad shape, while I kept trying to make mine better with various improvements.   But, when I turned it into a rental, I had nothing but low-life, trashy renters and I spent thousands on repairs and refurbishing, over and over and over again.  It was heart-breaking to me.

Now that the house has been completely remodeled, and it looks better than it ever has, I've now decided it's an albatross that I must let go.  I don't ever want to go through such a project again, at least not with that piece of property.  I have to look at it as the wonderful tax write-off, and investment that it's been.  Hopefully, at the close of escrow, I will have reinvested the money into a more "attractive" rental property.  I made an offer on a small 3 bedroom condo, near the golf course in our gated community.  Currently it's being used as a weekend, or holiday rental so it's furnished.  But I would rent it monthly and I understand there are serious golfers who will rent a condo there just so they don't have to pay big "green fees" according to my realtor.  It should easily rent for the payment, and I would expect better renters for that area.  Someday when I downsize, I may even consider living there for awhile.  I read that if I live there for two years, I can sell it and not have capital gains tax on the profit!  That would work!

Well, better get some much needed beauty sleep.  Here's hoping it doesn't get interrupted because I don't wanna be ugly in the morning!  :)   

 

Camels and Sand........

I was awakened this morning by Fall Girl, calling to say she'd received a call from Fly Boy in Kuwait, saying he'd arrived safely.  A few minutes later, he called me with stories of camels and sand!

He said he was running on adrenaline, having just had about an hour and a half sleep, since he wanted to experience it all before heading off to bed.  The time difference between Kuwait and California's time is 11 hours, so he was "hitting the cot" at about 7pm.  He'd had an adventure filled day, watching some of his fellow soldiers riding a camel around the base for 5 bucks a pop!  Then he watched in amazement as the poor camel growled while it was loaded into the back of a pickup with a make-shift hoist by the natives who took their money and headed off in the desert.  He said, "Mom, the animal rights activists would be all over that here!" 

Fly Boy said he just couldn't believe how dusty it is, with powdery sand covering everything.  He said that the country has to import sand, since their's is too fine to use in concrete for building purposes! 

A born shopper, and always after a bargain, he had already spent some time at the local bazaar where the natives are after the American money with crafts, jewelery, rugs, etc. He said he watched as this woman removed her name tag and she said, "I just removed my name tag and if you can tell me my name, I will give you a prize!" 

Scott said to his buddy..."Watch this!"  The buddy said, "You just got here!  How could you know her name?" as he followed Fly Boy to the woman's table.

Fly Boy said to the woman with a big toothy white smile...."Your name is BEAUTIFUL!  Am I right?" 

She promptly replied...."You are the WINNER!"

Fly Boy, always one for the ladies...walked away with his prize, which was a handcrafted beaded necklace! 

Obviously, she knows a winner when she sees one! 

 

Parker and Wendy

The problem with death is absence.

                           ~Roger Rosenblatt

 

Tonight as we celebrated my youngest brother's wedding without our Papa, I was reminded of a quote that said something like.....The longer we live, the more deaths we will experience. But on the other hand, we will also experience more joys....such as the births of new loved ones, weddings, miracles and triumphs in life. 

Papa just loved Wendy and was thrilled to hear that Parker was finally set on marrying this beautiful young woman.  Wendy loved Papa and she spent many an hour at his bedside when he was so very sick, and as a result, she endeared herself to our family all the more.

Although we shed some tears tonight, since Papa wasn't with us physically, I know that he was there in spirit and rejoiced right along with us!

Life goes on.

 

Call Your Mom!!

As Fly Boy and I were finishing up our conversation yesterday as he was getting ready to leave he said, "Well Mom, I have to call Sprint now and have them shut off my cell phone so I don't have to pay for it while I'm gone."  

About 3 hours later, I received a call and was surprised when I noticed that it his cell number showing on my Caller ID. 

Me:  Hullo?

Fly Boy (excitedly): MOM!!!!

Me: Oh GOOD!  They changed their mind and you're not going after all!!!!  Right?

Fly Boy (laughing): Yeah..I called to tell you the war's over!

WRONG!  :( 

They had stopped in NY to pick up some more soldiers and he noticed that his service hadn't been disconnected yet, and he just wanted to talk with his mama!

Now that's a gooooood boy!

 

Who could sleep at a time like this?

Fly Boy is on his way to Iraq. 

I just got off the telephone with my precious Fly Boy and I tried to be strong, for him and me.  He and 27 of his fellow soldiers; with family, friends and well-wishers nearby, are waiting to board the plane that will take them to Germany, then to a temporary training site in Kuwait.  They'll brush up on things there, until heading for Iraq.  

The majority of his unit left yesterday and he and Fall Girl were there to see them off.  We had to laugh about the way that one went....he said that the families said their tearful goodbyes, and the soldiers marched off to board the plane, only to be allowed to go back and visit because their luggage hadn't been loaded!   Then, after a second tearful goodbye, off they went again.  A few minutes later they were back in the arms of their family due to some other delay! 

By that time they were done with the crying and now they were laughing, saying....Will you just go already?! 

Marco's family, (one of Fly Boy's best friends and room mates) ended up having their car break down so they spent the night with Scott and his bride, and were there to see him off this morning!  I am so grateful, since I couldn't be there.   Fall Girl surprised him by coming home from her training due to the long weeked, so she was able to be there too! I had her deliver my hugs and kisses! 

I told Fly Boy how much I love him and how very proud I am of his many accomplishments. He knows he'll be in my thoughts and prayers constantly.  

I told him to be extra safe and continually focused, but most of all, do his very best flying!  I said..."Do you remember Papa's advise?  He used to say, 'Always trust your instruments!' " 

Fly Boy replied, "Yeah, and don't trust those people down below who are smiling and waving to you because as soon as you pass by, they're gonna shoot at ya!"

That's my boy!

 

 

Flying Calvary

It’s been a pretty emotional week for me. I’m having a meltdown, like a warm stick of butter. I packed too much into 7 days (and it’s only Thursday), without the emotional reserve or the physical strength to carry me through.

Tomorrow, Fly Boy and his unit are heading out to Iraq. I dreaded this day and now it’s here. He’s stressed, and we’re all stressed. Before Kerry (Fall Girl), he was chomping at the bit to go do what he’s trained to do and he was so envious of those in his division that already had their turn. Now, as a new husband, he’s heartsick over leaving Kerry behind; missing her already. I am hoping his tremendous love for her and us, will keep him safe and strong, so that he’ll return to us soon.

When Kerry’s mother came to visit them recently, she gave Kerry a present. It was a time worn, printed copy of the Prayer of St. Joseph that one of her customers gave her to take to Kerry, knowing that she’s serving in the Army. The tattered prayer had been carried by a soldier in Vietnam and returned to the woman who had made it her mission to send many of them to those fighting there. The soldier vowed he’d return it to the woman in person to give her his thanks, once he returned to the United States. That he did.

Now, as a gift from his new bride, Scott will carry it to Iraq. His buddies are receiving laminated copies of it as well, courtesy of Kerry.

I am praying that they’ll all return safely with that laminated prayer in their pocket, to give their thanks to that brave new bride.

God Speed 1-17 Flying Cavalry!

 

Ancient Prayer to Saint Joseph, the Earthly Father of Jesus.

(Whoever reads this prayer or hears it or carries it, will never die a sudden death, nor be drowned, nor shall poison take effect on them; neither shall they fall into the hands of the enemy, nor be burned in any fire, nor shall they be overpowered in battle.)

O St. Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt beforethe throne of God, I place in thee all my interests and desires.

O St. Joseph, do assist me by thy powerful intercession and obtain for me from thy Divine Son all spiritual blessings, through Jesus Christ, Our Lord; so that, having engaged here below thy heavenly power, I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving of Fathers. 

O St. Joseph, I never weary of contemplating thee and Jesus asleep in thy arms.  I dare not approach while He reposes near thy heart. Press Him in my name and kiss His fine head for me and ask Him to return the kiss when I draw my dying breath.

St. Joseph, Patron of departing souls, pray for us.

Amen.

 

Young, r-e-a-l-l-y young, Love.

Yesterday was a tough day for the baby girl and I.

She’ll be 13 in about a month, and she’s growing up a little faster than I prefer. It’s times like this that I long for Papa’s wisdom, input and support. In fact, yesterday when we were discussing the situation I asked her, "Just what would your Papa say about this issue? Would he approve?" I believe it made her think about things from a different perspective and in my thinking, it gives Papa some influence over her behavior, even though he’s not physically here. I have to believe he’s right here spiritually or it would make all of this that much harder.

Abbie’s found her first love. He’s 12 too. Since he doesn’t go to her school, but still lives on the outskirts of town, they spend a lot of time on the Instant Messenger, which is okay with me as long as other stuff, like schoolwork doesn’t suffer. His hair’s a little too long for my taste and he even has a hint of a mustache. At 12! He prefers to dress in the skater style, which can be a little gloomy. But, he seems like a nice and polite young man. Ab’s an aspiring rock star, so outside of school (thank goodness for uniforms) she can dress pretty dark as well.

So, last week she asked if John could come over to our house to watch movies and play video games with her and her best friend. I agreed, with the understanding that I would be here and visible the whole time and that they stayed here. There was to be no wandering aimlessly around town, or just "hanging out at the park." I am a firm believer in structured and supervised teen activities, especially after the trouble that Bubba was able to get it to, so no park time for this young lady. It was understood that they all could go out in the front yard and talk if they wanted to, if they felt the parental presence was a little too close. I explained and she understood that I would be nearby, but minding my own business throughout the visit.

We drove to Blockbuster and I allowed them to go pick out a movie while I picked up a few things in the grocery store in the same shopping center. Then we headed home and Ab found out that her girlfriend wouldn’t be able to come over for another hour or so. That’s when the whining began. "Ma-uuuumm, she can’t come over for a-noth-er hour! What are we going to do?" I told the princess that we had plenty of other movies that they could watch until she arrived and was informed that "Weeeeee donnnnnnnn’t haaaavvve eeeeennnnythhhhiiiinnnggg" worth watching.

So, I explained to her that it was not my responsibility to arrange their entertainment, although I’d make a few suggestions as stupid and "adult" as they were…..You can watch television or a select a movie out the hundreds that live in the entertainment center. You can find something to eat. Have a picnic in the front yard. Go sit on the front porch on the bench and talk. Figure it out. But, I left a big loophole. BIG MISTAKE. I didn’t reiterate what I’d said earlier about wandering aimlessly about town, etc. Silly me. I thought I’d made that perfectly clear.

As the front door shut, I walked upstairs to do a few things, thinking they’d decided to hang out in the front yard. After about 10 minutes, I decided to make my presence known, so I found something that I needed to put in my car and headed outside. They were nowhere to be found! I panicked and was also thoroughly pissed off. I called out her name. No answer. The neighbor kid was washing his car and I hollered to him and asked if Ab and John were over there. No, he said, but he did see them heading "That way!" as he pointed up the street.

I jumped in my car and went looking for them. I drove up and down each nearby street and was amazed that they could just "disappear" in that amount of time. After about 15 minutes of searching, I headed back home with the hope that they’d made it back while I was gone.

Nope.

I busied myself with little things and tried to keep my temper in check. Having promised Abbie that I wouldn’t "embarrass" her, I considered the impact of such a memorable scene once I found them or they got back to the house. But oh how I was tempted to make an unforgettable "Mama Monster" moment! Let me tell you…it ain’t pretty.

Again, as it was nearly an hour that they were gone, I once again jumped in the car and started searching for them. Fifteen more minutes pass and still no young lovers to be found. Ok, that’s it. All bets are off girlfriend!

I headed home again, and as I turned the corner I could just barely see two figures dressed in dark clothing at the opposite end of the street, and I headed that way. As I pulled up I could see John’s arm around Ab’s waist and they were walking in the field. When Ab noticed me, she pushed John’s arm away as I got closer. I pulled up next to them, opened the window and said angrily, "Get in!" Of course I got the "Whhhhhhyyyyy?" I advised Abbie that she knew exactly why and that if she didn’t want to be totally embarrassed in front of her friend, she’d better do as I instructed. I informed her that I would be taking John home right that very minute and that’s not what she wanted to hear. It was then that she made her 2nd big mistake of the day when I was once again forced to tell her "GET IN!" She had the nerve to say "NO!"

I believe she had the presence of mind to rethink her position when my eyes began rolling back in my head, my hair stood on end and I started frothing at the mouth. Additional consideration was evident when I threw the car in park and started to open the driver’s door with the full intention of providing her with the assistance she needed to GET IN and sit politely in the front seat of the car. Although the trunk was also an option at that point.

John, had enough common sense right then to get in and Ab followed suit. He remained quiet as I explained that since Ab chose to disobey me, I was taking him home. Ab yelled, "But Mom, we didn’t do ennythhhhinnggg!" I told her that I wasn’t accusing her of doing anything except disobeying me and that was the bottom line. After she told me to just "Stop" talking to her about it, we drove to John’s house in silence.

When we arrived home, I told Ab that she was barred from the computer for the rest of the day and that she was grounded for the time being. We decided to calmly discuss the situation later when she was ready because as she says, "You’re sooooo annoying!"

That’s right baby girl!

Annoying. Concerned. Protective.

All of the above, and more. Just your basic ol’ mother, trying to do her job.

All by myself, with a heart full of love.

Fly Boy and Fall Girl

Fly Boy has married his Fall Girl. I have dubbed her "Fall Girl" since she’s part of the Army’s demonstration sky-diving team. What a combination, huh! On Wednesday, they tied the knot in the face of military discipline, since he’s an officer and she’s enlisted. They’ve already told on themselves and are facing the music with whatever the powers to be choose to do in this case.

They decided to get married before he leaves for Iraq next week, so with her visiting mother as a witness, they had a civil ceremony and it was done. A traditional wedding is planned for family and friends upon his return to the States. We all fell in love with her and welcomed her to our family when they were here this summer. I am so happy for them and us too. She’s a smart, and beautiful girl. They are so in love and make a wonderful couple. And, she wants FOUR children! How cool is that? I’ll be a grandmother yet!

Another weekend and I am just chock full of good intentions. If I could only just set my fanny down and get at what needs to be done. Paperwork, and more paperwork. Besides being a first class procrastinator, after handling mountains of paper each day at work, moving more paperwork at home is the last thing I want to do. Especially, on a weekend.

What happened to my Type A personality? I think it’s still there about 10 hours a day, but that’s only at work. In the "comfort" of my home, if I stop, I drop. Lately, I am dropping the minute I darken the door. I guess I am still adjusting to the quiet, and the changes with it just being the two of us. And, it is really different. As a typical teenage, Ab doesn’t have too much to say anyway and she’ll spend her time using the computer to chat with her friends on the Instant Messenger, read (yes!) or watch some television. She hasn’t even wanted to go out to dinner, instead we each just grab something out of the freezer or a sandwich. Now with the time change, I’m feeling like I want to hibernate for the long winter ahead. ::Yawn::

Last night I found a yellow piece of paper on the table in the entry way that wasn’t there when I left for work yesterday. It was a notice from Animal Control that they’d impounded my boxer dogs, with absolutely no explanation as to why. Grrrrrr. I imagine that Sly and Tiana managed to find their way out of theyard with our rickety fence. Our fence is in pretty bad shape, and with the wind it’s likely that part of it blew down. It was dark when we got home, so we don’t know exactly. The dogs probably went over to play and visit with the construction workers, (who obviously know where they live) and I’m sure they were too busy to pay them much attention or get them back in the yard. So, picking up the "runaways" is another thing to add to my "to-do" list today.

Well, I am off to get started.  Maybe.

These weekends go by way too fast for me. Just about the time I feel like I’ve rested enough to do some serious project around the house, it’s Sunday afternoon and time to get ready for Monday. I have so many things on my "to-do" list that a weekend isn’t enough time anyway. Most of it may have to wait until retirement.

This morning I think I was able to teach Greyson that he does not get the "choice" canned tuna food every time that I walk in the kitchen. He’s got that whole Pavlov’s response thing going on right now. Kitchen/Mom=Tuna! Now! (Note to self…I need to get Steve to put up my new doorbell. It says "The cat and his household staff live here!) The expensive kitty food is piled high in the bowl for the kittens to eat at will, but they’d much rather eat that wet stuff. They get that each morning and a little before bed. The way Greyson’s eating now, it looks like he’ll be catching up with his brother in no time.

It looks as though Greyson is going to make it. We give him a laxative every 12 hours and I think we’ve got him past the "rough" parts. Pun intended. His little bum is feeling much better and at least he’s not stopped up like he was before. The Vet didn’t really ever figure out what was going on with his little digestive system, and for awhile, we both considered it "failure to thrive." His little system may have been shocked by a change in diet when he first came home. Heaven only knows what he was eating before he came home to us. While he’s not exactly well yet, he’s eating, eliminating with out my help and moving around pretty good. I am sure the Vet’s suggested change in his diet may have helped too. Now if we could just get Thorn to leave him alone when he doesn’t want to play. We couldn’t have a better name for that wild thing!

Yesterday, Steve and I went to Home Depot and Lowe’s to get some building supplies and then to Carpet Outlet Plus to pick out carpet and linoleum for my Alan Ave. house, which is nearly ready to be placed back on the market. It’s going to be such a nice house now. The kitchen is awesome! I wish it was that way when I lived in it all those years ago.

Right after Papa died and I was visiting my family up north, my listing agent called and said that she had an offer coming in on the property. Well, that fell through, and then several weeks back, she said she had another offer coming. We decided on a 45 day escrow, and I never heard from her again. So, I called her last week and asked about the "offer." She said the people couldn’t qualify and that was that. I was pretty disappointed in the way that she handled that situation. Seems to me that it would have been appropriate to call me and let me know what was happening, rather than for me to call her weeks later.

During our conversation that day, she mentioned that my contract had expired and I would need to come in to sign a new one. Hmmmmm. We discussed the "new listing price" considering the drastic increase in housing prices in our town and the unavailability of houses right now. I’ve been watching the newspaper and I don’t see anything under 160 thousand and mine was listed at 150K. She said that we could list it now for $154, 900.

I mentioned to her that some friends of mine recently, very recently, had their rental house appraised for a refinance, and it appraised at 154K. That house is 3 bedrooms to my 4, about 300’ smaller and not in great condition. It’s also within the "comp" distance. My Alan Ave. house has been totally remodeled. Everything is new, or will be when we are finished. Her reply was, "Well they always appraise a little high for a refi." Hmmmmmm again. I distinctly recall her saying just the opposite when the house I’m living in was appraised a few months back. It came in much lower than I thought and she told me then that they "always come in lower for a refi." So, which is it? The cranky side of me wants to say forget it, and either go with one of those "Help-U-Sell" deals, or maybe even hang on to it for a few more months. I don’t know. I just hate to hurt anyone’s feelings and I am sure if I didn’t give her the listing, we’d certainly be on the outs. But I also know that I’d much rather put the realtor’s fee in my pocket and it’s a seller’s market right now. If I held on to the house, it would be financially advantageous, but I hate the thought of EVER renting it again, because of the previous MAJOR problems with damage that I have had with renters.

What to do, what to do? Decisions, decisions.

Well, I am off to get ready for the little ghosts and goblins that will be here in a couple of hours. Happy Halloween! Oh, and one more thing…You have got to try the Reese’s Inside Out candy! It’s peanut butter on the outside, with chocolate on the inside! Exactly opposite from the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups! They are soooooo good!

Weekend Assignment

The Blogfather has given us a pretty spooky assignment, in keeping with the Halloween spirit......

I am not sure whether my first one is an epitaph or a limerick!  Here goes.........

 

This here’s where Lisa’s buried.

In her short life, she was clumsy and harried.

No banana peel needed at all.

With weak ankles and a spectacular fall.

Near the edge of the grave, a gentle push they gave.

After a few shovels of earth, counted the money they saved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again, after greatly irritating my "next month I will be thirteen" year old daughter, this came to mind...............

A mother to four,

she just couldn’t take anymore.

Went out of her way to please,

and died to finally get a life of ease.

Me----OW

There has to be a special place in Heaven for those of us who will wipe a kitty's dirty butt.

And, what kind of crazy woman writes an entire journal entry about it?

Yep, I am pretending that I am a momma cat and trying to get my baby kitty to potty. I swear, I am standing over him in the litter box, while he’s trying with all his might to poop in the potty like his big brother! 

And it just ain't workin'!

I am seriously trying to save this little guy’s life.

We're talking s-e-r-i-o-u-s, here. 

Three pretty serious enemas (just ask Greyson), an x-ray, some blood work, 2 separate hospitalizations and medication to the tune of $312.00 in vet bills, and some special diet, high dollar IAMs Kitten Food, and poor little Greyson is still not able to push those teeny kitten turds all the way out.  So, mama wipes his stinky bottom to help. 

Yeah, I am that kind of mom.    

Foggy Minds

This photo was taken somewhere along Highway 1 this summer as we made our way back home from my Uncle Lee's house.  I thought it was beautiful (in a dark sort of way) and used it for many of the thank you cards I made and sent after my father's memorial service.  It somehow seemed just right for that type of card.

Greyson isn't doing well at all.  He's just not thriving, compared to his brother.  He's constipated once again and I am sure he's just m-i-s-e-r-a-b-l-e!  His bottom is just so sore and his little rectum is prolapsed.  He just can't push out the fecal matter without some help. 

Once again, I have started him on the laxative medicine that the vet sent home and have used some mineral oil to moisten that area and it helps a little.  But, he's clearly in distress. When I picked him up from his hospital stay he had loose stools, but he just didn't act like a healthy little kitten.  So, I think it has to be more than just constipation.  Something's just not right inside of him.   

In fact, he's never acted right from the moment I brought him home.  But, the blood tests at the vet were all negative.  He seems to eat enough, but I don't believe he drinks much water, which could be adding to his problem.  So, tomorrow once again, I will drop him off at the vet's office and hopefully, they can figure out what's wrong with this sweet, but totally lethargic little guy. 

Back to work tomorrow, darn it.  I swear I could get used to this stay at home life.  I just need to remember that I have less than two years until retirement and that will be here before I know it! 

On Friday, right as I was heading out the door to see the Worker's Comp doctor, I received a telephone call from the Emergency Room doctor who had just received the radiologist's report from my ankle x-rays.  The radiologist said that I have multiple tiny fractures on both sides of my ankle, which weren't immediately noticable to the ER doctor when he "read" the x-rays. 

I informed him that my HMO doctor had casted the ankle anyway, due to my history (read=clumsiness!). Then I picked up the copy of the radiologist's report and headed down the mountain to the HMO's WCdoctor.  I provided him a copy of the report, which he promptly pooh-poohed, saying the treatment is still the same and he then insisted that I get new x-rays.  It's his opinion that those chip fractures may be "old" but I don't think so, based upon the way I fell on that ankle this time.  I had never injured the inside of the ankle like I did this time and if he'd review my previous x-rays from the similar injuries, he won't see any chip fractures! 

Arggghh!  Some Doctors just don't want to listen. 

I told him that I really wanted a referral to the ortho/ankle specialist and he agreed, to my surprise. He then decided that I could graduate to a "Cam Walker" cast, at least that's what I thought he called it.  It's some knee high, fancy velcro-strapped boot like contraption that allows for the patient to walk and still provides the cast support.  The best thing about it is the fact that it can be removed for a shower and sleep!  It was wonderful to take a real bath and shave my legs, both legs!  Now we'll just have to see if it will do the job and get this ankle fixed.

I attended a baby shower today, which was fun.  Gosh they make the cutest things for babies anymore!  Dakota, the mom-to-be is married Kelly who is Fly Boy's best childhood buddy!  This baby is a little girl and her name will be Janaka and she's due to arrive in January.   This will be the 4th grandchild for Kelly's mom....(hint, hint to my adult children!) and I don't have ONE yet! ::big sigh::

It's Bunco time at my house this Tuesday and I am mostly ready!  I still have to buy the prizes, but I know what I am going to get, and where, so I will do that tomorrow evening. Feeling rather domestic the other day, I made beef and cheese enchiladas, with green chile sauce to serve that night!  Mmmmmm!  There will be some awesome homemade refried beans and chips and salsa to go along with it!  Perfect meal for these cold Fall evenings!  I just hope I can remember to take the enchiladas out of the freezer that morning so they'll be ready for the oven that night. 

This brain fog is terrible!

 

How Beautiful...........

Kevin’s funeral was yesterday. The church, which must hold 300 people or so, was packed and there were people standing in the back. At least half of those in attendance were from work. Some, who worked with Kevin previously but had transferred, traveled long distances to attend. He had worked with us for 23 years; more than half his life, so it makes sense that he would have touched that many hearts.

I watched the faces of those who came to mourn and saw sadness, but mostly love and respect for this young man, who had contributed so much in his short time on earth. In my book, Healing After Loss, the author mentions a newsman describing what he sees as a line of mourners pass by the body of Robert Kennedy as he lay in state and the commentator said……

"At a time like this, how beautiful is every human face!"

As the Pastor stepped up to the podium, all voices became silent and every eye was fixed upon the speaker as he spoke of Kevin’s heavenly reward. I imagined the thoughts going through some of those minds……

Will the Pastor he be able to bring comfort and understanding with his words?

He was only 45, had a heart attack and died! Could that happen to me?

Imagine leaving your family behind! What about my wife/husband, and children? Grandchildren? Would they be all right?

Am I making my family my priority? What if today was my last day on earth?

Kevin had dreams and plans to build a hunting ranch. What about my dreams? Am I living my dreams?

Do my family and friends know how much I love them? Am I a good neighbor, friend, parent, husband or wife? Am I a living example of the goodness of Christ?

Before long, the service had ended. Then, I watched as hundreds of people with beautiful, loving faces walked solemnly by the casket to say a final good-bye.

The Land of Four Seasons

It's said around here that our town is the "Land of Four Seasons" and people joke that it sometimes happens all in one day.  I've seen it myself. 

Autumn is now upon us and it's cool, windy, rainy and damp.  We've had rain for a couple of days now.  Today, we had a tornado warning come across the radio's Emergency Broadcast Network for a county north of us.  That's not something that happens very often in these parts!  

The gold, red and brown leaves are dropping from the trees, then promptly blowing into someone else's yard. Not to worry, they'll blow away again.  Just give it a few hours or so. After the first freeze, the mulberry trees will often drop their leaves in a heap, all at once, on the same day.   With nightime temps down in the 40s it's good sleeping weather and the daytime temps are perfect for a menopausal woman! 

But, the cold days are on their way, and by Halloween, we start having freezing temps at night.  I just love a good roaring fire to warm the house and also for the asthetics.  The fireplace insert/blower that we have does a pretty good job of taking the chill off, but it is always a pain to get going so it didn't get used often.  Besides, Papa and Bubba were the fire starters in this house.  Ab and I gladly left that job up to them.  Oak wood is plentiful around here, but it's often too hard to get a fire started without a lot time, patience and  effort.  Since the wood's kept out on the back patio, it will get covered with snow and then you have to get out there in the cold to bring it in, and the all that wet snow gets trampled inside.  What a pain!

Now that Papa and Bubba are gone, I wanted something easier for Ab and I to manage and something more energy efficient.   So today I ordered us a pellet stove insert to replace what we have and it will be installed within a couple of weeks.  The store was also throwing in a ton of pellets with the purchase!  A ton!  Of course I don't have anywhere to store a ton of pellets, so the store runs a tab and you just pick up a few bags at a time until you use up your ton!  The stove has an easy, push button, electric ignition that Ab and I can manage.  And, it will feed itself via a hopper throughout the day when I am at work, and we will come home at the end of the day to a toasty warm house.  I am so excited about having a fire more often and cuddling in front of it with Ab during those cold winter evenings.  It's my understanding that pellet stoves are eventually going to replace all traditional fireplaces as they are virtually smokeless and create very little ash.

Additionally, they don't suck all the moisture out of the room like a traditional fireplace, or so I was told, so we won't need to use a tea kettle like you would with a wood stove. 

Just think...I'll soon be saying to Ab..."Come on Baby, light the fire!" 

 

More Stuff..........

When I complete this entry I am going to go put my feet up, because I’ve spent way too much time on ‘em today. My ankle is throbbing and itching beneath that cast and it’s nerve wracking.

After I picked up Greyson from the vet, I did some grocery shopping, hauled them into the house across my soggy wet grass, and put them away all by myself. That about zapped all my strength for today.

Greyson has a personality unlike any other cat I’ve ever had before. He just doesn’t act like his feisty brother. It could be that he’s just not feeling quite right after his $156 dollar bout of constipation. He’s very vocal and has the funniest raspy meow, and he uses it a lot! Cry Baby would probably be a better name for him at this point. The ladies at the vet said he was the loudest cat they’ve had lately. He probably cried so much that his throat is sore! Greyson isn’t much into playing like his brother. He’s loves to be held and will cry until I hold him, then he’ll settle down quietly. Thorn just won’t leave him alone, and Greyson doesn’t seem to stand up to him and make him quit with the aggression. I guess they’ll eventually work it out without any human intervention. But, Tam and I were watching him today and thought he might be a just little bit brain damaged. I hope not. That’s all I need! Maybe he’s just traumatized from his brief separation and captivity at the vet’s office.

More sad news. I found out that one of my subordinates passed away suddenly early Saturday morning from a heart attack. He was just 45 years old! So, so young! He was a hard working, intense guy, who loved to work all the overtime he could handle. He’d recently moved out of town and had a very long commute to work, which probably didn’t allow him much time for rest. Additionally, he was struggling to keep his diabetes under control and also taking care of an elderly family member. Such a sad loss for his family and us co-workers, as well. I am sure everyone at work is devastated and that the attendance at his upcoming funeral service will be impressive and comforting to the surviving family. This will be the 3rd funeral I’ve attended in less than 2 months. Arrrgggh! Make it stop Lord!

Even more sad news….My Aunt Sherry (married to my dad’s brother) is now having to deal with her 73 year old mother’s horrible diagnosis of Stage 3 Lung Cancer, on the heels of my father’s death. She called tonight from Colorado, where she’s visiting with her mom at this difficult time. We certainly understand each other’s anguish. My prayers and thoughts are with her and her family.

A woman from Hospice called me tonight to follow-up on how our family is doing since Papa’s death and again invite me to a Grief Support Group. I told her that we were doing fairly well, all considered and politely declined her invitation for the group. I told her that I was a voracious reader and had purchased several books on grieving, that were very helpful. I mentioned that I recalled reading in the "grief" book that they sent me, that people in mourning are often accident prone and that I certainly fit that description lately. She didn’t have to know that I was already a klutz, before I started the grieving process! She also recommended two other books, entitled When Will I Stop Hurting by June Kolf and A Hand to Hold by a local author; Lorraine Snelling who lost her daughter. I may have to add them to my library and share them when I can.

Well, since Greyson is fast asleep and quiet, (finally) I am going to sneak off to bed.

 

 

Just Stuff.........

After 4 days, my cast was getting kind of sloppy, so I headed down the mountain to have it changed.  I drove myself, which takes a little getting used to, when your driving foot is casted, but I managed.  Didn't even scare myself! 

I had to settle for a hot pink cast this time, since they had a run on the camouflage casts earlier that morning, according to the tech. I wanted to do the cammo in honor of Fly Boy, who's heading to Iraq in mid November.  But, since it looks as though I will have plenty of cast changes, I'll probably be able to get through each and every color they have in stock! 

This injury is a severe sprain and torn ligaments to the same ankle and it's been casted 4 out of 5 of the past 5 years.  All for the same reason...I turn it under somehow and fall, usually on top of it. It all stems back to a chip fracture and torn ligament about 22 years ago at work, where I slipped in some sand on a step.  I was considerably younger then, and healed rapidly.  It was no problem until I had another fall and reinjured it in the same spot.  Then again, and again, and...well you get the picture.

The last time, the doctor told me that if I reinjured it again, I may need surgery because the ligament has been damaged to the point that it's floppy and not providing the proper support.  When mentioning it to the tech today, he told me that I was going to have to be pretty forceful with the Worker's Comp doctor there at the HMO to get a referral to orthopedics! 

The tech told me that the WC doctor is just interested in getting everyone back to work and kinda pooh-poohs everything.  He said he's been known to put people back to work too soon and then they end up hurting themselves worse.  So, he told me that if the WC doctor refuses to give me an MRI and referral to the ortho specialist, I just need to say..."Ok, would you please tell me which doctor that I would need to see to get the referral?"  The tech said the doctor won't be happy, but he'll refer me. Geez, I don't get it.  The HMO is getting paid by WC, so why would he be so dang stingey about a specialist, especially with my history? 

Anyway, I see the WC doctor on Friday and I will see what he says then, before I push the issue. 

For one thing, I may not even be able to go back to work with a cast, due to the type of work I do.  It's just too risky and it's totally up to my employer, despite what the WC doctor says!  Tomorrow I will find out if they have approved me to come back to work, or not. 

While I was down there today, I took advantage of being out of the house for awhile and did a little shopping.  I hit Big Lots for some fall holiday decorations, and got some nice things as pictured above. The tapestry table runner looks so pretty on my buffet, and I got some pumpkins and candles in the same colors to go along with it.  Now if I can just keep the kittens off it!

Speaking of kittens....I totally forgot to pick up Greyson from the vet today.  It slipped my mind until I was heading up the mountain home, and by then it was too late.  Poor baby, one more night in captivity. 

I'll tell you....I can't wait till he gets home so that Thorn has someone to play with besides me. I am so scratched up by his tiny little claws and I don't think I wanna play anymore for awhile. I swear I am going to get Cat Scratch Fever!    

Thorn is a p-e-r-f-e-c-t name for this little terror.  We finally figured out where Ab came up with that name...Rick Thorne is a professional BMXr that her oldest sister knows, and Ab's just very impressed. 

Ab went to a concert (?) tonight to see "The Used".....whoever they are.  Ab was so excited and she knows her music considering she's an aspiring rock drummer.   She and a girl from school managed to talk the girl's father into taking them.  I am soooo glad I was injured and couldn't drive when all this was planned.  The poor man was going to stay in the venue, but not "near them" so as to not make himself conspicuous.  Heaven forbid!  It's nearly 11pm and they're not back yet.  I hope she can get up for school in the morning.  Well, I should say....she's going to be very tired in the morning when I get her up for school!  :)

Arrrgggghhh!  I just had to lock Thorn in Ab's bedroom because he keeps climbing up my legs with those little claws and he won't take no for an answer!  He's got a pile of kitty toys and a scratcher with all kinds of strings hanging off it, but noooooooo, he wants to play with Mama while she's on the computer!

Well, I will go catch up on some journals now.  Goodnight all...including Thorn!   

These are my favorite shoes........

John Scalzi, our "Blogfather" has given us another weekend assignment and here it is……………

Weekend Assignment #29: Your Shoes!

It's time for the Weekend Assignment -- I write up an assignment, you answer in your AOL Journal or blog, and then come back here and leave a link. Easy, simple, fun!

This week, it's the first of the reader-suggested Weekend Assignments. 

Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? A pair that you wish you could wear for everything because you like how they look or you like how your feet feel inside them? They can be a pair you have now or had when. Tell us why they were so special.

Extra credit: A picture of them!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here’s my completed assignment and Mr. Scalzi, please note my extra credit for the photograph :)

Right now, these are my favorite shoes. You’re right, they don’t even match! But, since I will be wearing a cast on this right leg for several weeks, I am loving this zippy little walking shoe…..a stylish little number, reminicent of the "Earth Shoes of the ‘70s, medium beige, trimmed in dark brown piping, with 3 adjustable velcro straps also in a medium beige color, with a light-weight multi-color, rubberized non-skid sole. You can just wear this shoe with anything. Very versatile! And boy….does it get noticed!

It’s really the lesser of two evils. No cast, no walk. Well, I guess you can consider getting around on crutches as walking. But, I hate crutches, because they take sooooo much physical strength and effort, and at this time, I don’t have an extra iota of strength. So a cast with a walking shoe strapped to it is heavenly. Freedom to move at a lot faster pace than with those stupid killer crutches!

Now concerning the other shoe….since the average "short leg cast" like mine, weighs about 3 pounds (and that’s a lot of extra weight on one side to pull when hiking up my stairs or anywhere else for that matter), I have balanced it out with this sandal. It’s a feather-weight, strappy little model, all black with white stitching, with about a 2 inch heel. Again, it can be worn with just about color cast, including the camouflage model I plan on wearing next week! The great thing about the heel on this shoe is that it really creates the illusion that I am walking like I would without two different shoes and a cast, since it makes the left leg just about the same height as the casted leg. Talk about comfort!

If that isn’t something one would just want to wear all the time, I don’t know what is!

Oh, and please, no comments about my pudgy, Fred Flintstone feet, that are sorely (pun intended) in need of a new pedicure!

Gimpy Grace~signing off!