Weekend Assignment #15: Bad Food Moments

Tell us about the the most disgusting food/drink you've ever had in your mouth. Please note that I'm emphasizing the words "food and/or drink" -- No fair talking about the time you ate an earthworm or Play-Doh, or drank antifreeze, or ate something else that doesn't actually constitute food. You know what I'm talking about, here. Let's all be grown-ups, shall we. Real food, please: It can be badly prepared, strange and awful, accidentally rancid or whatever, but it's gotta be something someone somewhere recognizes as food.

Extra Credit: Name an actual food product that was so awful that you couldn't even bring yourself to try it.

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My Seriously Bad Food Moment

Every self-respecting Okie girl loves fried okra! Although I wasn’t actually born in Oklahoma, I come from good Oklahoma Indian stock and was trained up right.

My Papa makes some great fried okra. Mmmmmmmmmmm! I can’t get much fried okra here, and Papa’s not up to doin’ much cookin’ anymore, so fried zucchini comes about as close to it as I can get.

So, a few years back a friend and I stop for dinner at a local buffet. Variety galore! Yum.

I pretty much don’t eat anything that I can’t immediately recognize, but I know fried zucchini when I see it. I pick up a few, (using the tongs, silly-us Okie’s got manners!) and plop a few of those babies on my plate right next to a little bit of this and a spoonful of that.

We head to the table and dig in! I’m starved! Immediately, I go for the fresh, plump fried zucchini and take a BIG bite, chewing enthusiastically.

:: wide-eyed stare:: I’m thinkin’ this doesn’t taste like any fried zucchini I ever ate! BLECH!

Panic sets in as I chew and chew. Whatever it is that I just put in my mouth gets bigger and tastes nastier each time my teeth meet. I just can’t spit this stuff out on my plate! Gag! What am I going to do with "it?"

Me: "Kerry…..What am I eating? Look, right there! What is that?" as I point to the half-bitten fried zucchini impostor!

"Whhaaaattt isssss itttttt?" Ahhh doooonnnthinnnnnkkk itttttssss zuuuuuccchhhinnnnniiii!" Blech!!!

Kerry: "That my dear, looks suspiciously like a fried oyster!" ::laughing hysterically::

Me: ::swallow:: "Oyster! I just ate an oyster? Oh, my GAWD, that was the absolutely nastiest tasting thing I have ever had in my mouth! There wasn’t a pearl in that thing either!"

Yep, I would have to say that I am a lot more carefully on the buffet lines these days. I still have nightmares!

Oh, and let’s just forget about the extra credit, shall we. I don’t wanna think about anything remotely resembling food after dredging up that wonderful memory.