Krissy was the baby. Our beautiful baby sister, born on June 5, 1966 and taken to her heavenly home on December 18, 2005. The only child born to her parents, but welcomed by a slew of siblings. Since she was 7 years younger than Rocky, the previous baby; we were all quick to dote on her, and just as quick to point out to Mom how terribly spoiled she was.
Despite the fact that we’d like to blame how spoiled Kris was on Mom, we have to take credit for our role in it as well. We created our own little monster! It was hard NOT to spoil Krissy, because she was just so darn cute. She had those huge dark brown eyes with long, curly eyelashes, olive skin that surrounded perfect, pearly white teeth in a rosebud mouth. She said cute baby things like; “Cha-Cha bo!” when she wanted her bottle filled with Chocolate Milk.
Yes, chocolate milk!
What kind of mother gives her toddler chocolate milk in her bottle? One who believes the sun rises and sets in her precious baby girl! It didn’t take long for us to believe it as well, and we showered Krissy with gifts and lots of love and attention.
Long after we had all become adults, Krissy remained the baby, a role that she settled in to quite nicely. I‘m sure she‘d say that being the baby had its advantages, because even though the rest of us stopped exchanging gifts at Christmas, or for birthdays, Krissy still got presents from all of us, because, well….she was the baby! Then, we’d all groan and complain to Mom about how spoiled rotten she was!
Kris may have been spoiled in many ways, but that is not to say that life was always kind to her. She had more than her fair share of life’s difficult times. The fact that we are standing here at her early grave is proof.
Could her life have been different if she’d made better choices? Probably.
Was she capable of surviving on her own as we all expected her to do when she became an “adult?” I am not so sure.
After having lived with Mom all her life, including after Cody was born, she was cruelly tossed out of the nest with Mom’s death. We encouraged her to spread her baby wings and fly, and for awhile, it seemed she’d gotten the idea. She tried hard to make it on her own, and we applauded when she got a job and bought her first car. Then life got to be overwhelming for Krissy and we stood back and watched as she fell flat on her face. Drugs. Homelessness. Poverty.
In the past ten years, we expected that spoiled little girl who was ill prepared for this cold, hard world to suddenly grow up and make it on her own as we went on with our lives.
Suddenly, Kris was faced with life-threatening strokes. Three of them in a row. She amazed us and her doctors as she fought to live and overcome the effects of the paralysis on her right side. She didn’t complain and adapted to her circumstances the best she could. I was particularly awestruck by her strength.
Despite the doctor’s warnings that she was sure to have another stroke if she didn’t change her lifestyle, she continued to smoke.
Recently, she went to live with her father and I talked to her just after she settled in, asking the question that every smoker dreads….
“Krissy are you still smoking?”
“Noooooooooo!” She said.
“Oh Krissy, I am so proud of you for stopping! When did you have your last cigarette?” I asked.
“Yesssstttteeerrrrrrdaaaaaayyyy!”
Bless her heart! She was trying!
Who knew that Kris was as sick as she was, on top of attempting to recover from her strokes? Krissy didn’t complain and finally, last month her dad recognized that something just wasn’t right and took her to the hospital. That’s when they discovered that cancer had invaded her fragile body. It was everywhere.
They prepared her for the end of her life here on earth, telling her she had two to six months to “live.”
You know, I think she was probably ready to leave her struggles behind and have some much deserved peace. How much can one person endure in one lifetime?
The author, C.S. Lewis once said, "Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind."
Kris was ready to leave, without regret. Knowing there were better things awaiting.
In closing….When I heard the words of this popular country song by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton, I immediately thought of our baby sister laughing with joy as she spread her wings to fly. Filled with perfect peace at last! There, on the far side of the sky, she joins her mother, grandparents, and sister Kim. I know that we’ll all be together again one day soon.
Listen to the words of this beautiful song.
When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly
I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain
[Chorus]
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here
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