Oh Yeah! It was a Girl Fight!!

She generally gave herself good advice (though she very seldom followed it).

~Lewis Carroll

As I mentioned in a few previous entries, one should NEVER, ever, rent one's property to friends or family! My rental property is/was "rented" without the benefit of a rental agreement/security deposit....to one of Tam's seriously crazy best friends, her 4th and newly married husband who just happens to be an alcoholic, and her two teenage daughters....one of who is a mother of a two year old son.

They decided to quit paying rent nearly 4 months ago and needless to say...this has now created all kinds of problems for their family, mine and of course we're now ENEMIES! Imagine that!

Tam is furious that "CRAZY WOMAN" would treat "us" that way and well, I am once again realizing how my co-dependent/rescuing behavior got ME into this ugly situation.

Yeah, I know. I am shaking my head too, amazed that I would again show such a lack of common sense, since I've repeatedly rented to friends and family in the past. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson. I think I have this time. Today I will seek the assistance of a property manager for all future business.

BUSINESS. Yes, business.

See, I am learning!

Oh....but what about the girl fight you say?

Yesterday, I arranged to begin the property cleanup, as it was evident to me that they had abandoned what was left behind. I mean, Stevie Wonder could tell. The utilities were off, the place was trashed and it was obvious that they hadn't been inside for days. That's abandoned in my book!

A friend planned to drive his flat-bed/stake-side pick up there to load up the debris, a man was hired to start on the lawn and Tam and her boyfriend were set to meet me at the property to lend a hand. Ever the procrastinator, I was proud of my can-do attitude in the midst of what I initially felt was going to be an insurmountable task at hand. I was quickly deflated when I pulled up at the house and saw the "former" tenant's car in the driveway!

I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to stay on the property considering her propensity toward dramatic, confrontational behavior. I quickly called Tam's cell phone and left her a message that I was leaving the property and that she should NOT come to the house as CRAZY WOMAN was there! Then I left.

Unfortunately, Tam didn't get the message until she drove up in the driveway a few minutes later, only to have CRAZY WOMAN pull in behind her and block her. CRAZY WOMAN then exited her vehicle and stuck her finger in Tam's face repeatedly THROUGH THE OPEN CAR WINDOW, while yelling obscenities and threats about how we "burglarized" HER HOUSE!

Yes, she called it, HER HOUSE!



Anyway...I didn't see it, but it was pretty exciting according to Tam's boyfriend. He was thoroughly impressed by Tam's solid...... 1,2,3 PUNCHES to CRAZY WOMAN'S FACE, that occured after Tam decided enough was enough, and she got out of the car...only to be "sucker punched" by that maniacal former BEST FRIEND FOREVER who was calling Tam a "CRACK WHORE!" Yep, I am told it was very similar to the above graphic!

For clarification...Tam's a lot of things, but she's NO 'CRACK WHORE' thankyouverymuch!

I am surprised they both didn't go to jail. But, despite a report to the local Sheriff's Department, they considered it a "civil matter" however, I would disagree on the fight aspect of the situation. Lucky for the "girls" I suppose.

In the meantime, according to the Sheriff's Department, CRAZY WOMAN still has "standing" in MY house, because she has belongings there and I didn't officially complete the "eviction process" because I knew she was moving.

Is that some crazy crap, or what?

Wanna hear something even crazier?

CRAZY WOMAN'S teenage daughter, the one with the 2 year old son... came by yesterday saying her "crazy and violent" mother beat her up and kicked her out of the "new" house over the weekend. Teenage daughter then asked ME, if she and her toddler son could live with US!!!

US??

Do I HAVE CO-DEPENDENT RESCUER written on my forehead?

You know...if it wasn't for Al-Anon, I probably would have said yes!

Yes...I am that frickin' sick myself.

But, I am getting better!

Thank you God!

(And...what do you wanna bet that CRAZY WOMAN now has my car keys and I won't ever get them back?)

Let me entertain you....

It's likely I was very entertaining for my Higher Power yesterday afternoon!

I am sure I wasn't thinking clearly as I assessed the seemingly overwhelming mess left behind by my dead-beat tenants, who finally moved out after 3 months of not paying their rent.

The garage was filled with an assortment of old furniture, knob-less appliances, mattresses and eclectic junk that apparently had not sold at their recent yard sale and it was allllll left behind for me handle the disposal. I think I would have just sat and cried, if I hadn't had people there with me. Instead, I just accepted the fact that this was a situation I could not immediately change and continued to get on with the business at hand.

The house was filthy, littered throughout with old dirty towels and clothing, trash and mail, and unwanted personal items including lots of family photographs and personal paperwork. (Despite my bitter feelings, I decided to hang on to their photos and attempt to return them-maybe at Small Claims Court!) An old love seat was thrown out the patio door and lay upside down on the unkempt grass. A baby swing...no longer needed, discarded carelessly on the patio. Missing were the vertical blinds on the patio sliding door and the front window, and the refrigerator!

I took photographs to submit for court evidence, until the battery died on the camera and decided to return today to finish up.

As I headed to my car, I realized that I no longer had my car keys in the pocket of my sweatshirt, where I distinctly recall putting them!

Once I got to the car, I discovered that my car was locked with my PURSE inside! My keys were not in the ignition and not visible on top of my burgeoning purse.

I retraced my steps, looking for the keys and I couldn't find them anywhere.

What to do?

What to do?

My friends had left a few minutes previously and I began to realize that IF my keys were locked in my car, so was MY PHONE!! I couldn't call anyone for HELP!! I didn't know any of the neighbors and I was several miles away from anyone I knew!

I was temporarily SOL!!!!!

Then, it occurred to me that I have ONSTAR!!!

Woooooo-hooo!

Wonderful! But, I quickly realized I didn't have a telephone to call them on to unlock my car!

So...I sat my fanny down on the front steps and prayed, saying.."God, I really have got myself in a mess here. I need some help! What are YOU going to do about this situation? I will just sit here and wait for awhile! Thanks!"

All of a sudden, the neighbor across the street came over to introduce himself and talk about the house being "vacant" again! We shared a few stories about the tenants and he owned up to being the person who complained to the County about one of the previous undesirable types who once inhabited the residence. I assured him that I totally understood his position and in no time, we were becoming fast friends! I then took the opportunity to explain to him how I'd misplaced my keys...my purse was locked inside the vehicle and how I couldn't call Onstar to open the car without my telephone...which was also..inconveniently locked inside the car!

He promptly offered me the use of his home telephone....sooooo GOD and Onstar came through! The car was unlocked, but unfortunately, my keys were not inside my purse or the car. Yet, I then had access to my cell phone to call home for the spare set of keys!

I headed back to the rental house today in order to start the clean up process, hoping to find my keys. But, unfortunately the tenant was inside the house...so I left before having what was sure to be an ugly confrontation with her.

Still no keys.

Still no possession of my rental house.

Grrrrrr!

But...maybe she's gonna clean up that mess after all!!

Sunday Stealing~The Mud Meme!

You can play along weekly HERE!

1. What are your current obsessions?

Living and enjoying life, love, and exercise!

2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often?

Lately, it's been sweat pants for walking! I'll have you know...I walked over 10 miles last week!

3. What's for dinner?

Sliced Tri-Tip....some that didn't get used to slap someone at yesterday's exciting birthday party and pasta salad, lovingly made by MOI!

4. Last thing you bought?

The fixings for pasta salad that I took to the party! YUM!

5. What are you listening to?

The whir of the ceiling fan in my bedroom!

6. If you were a god/goddess who would you be?

Athena! The Greek goddess Athena is usually portrayed as one of the most benevolent goddesses . . .strong, fair, and merciful.

Athena is known as one of the three virgin goddesses, referred to as virgin because they were able to remain independent, unswayed by the spells of Aphrodite, the goddess of love, and the consequent pull of marriage and motherhood. Romance and marriage did not feature in Athena's mythology. In Greek mythology Athena was, in essence, the prototype of the contemporary "career woman".

Although usually depicted holding a spear, her golden helmet pushed back to reveal her elegant beauty, the Greek goddess Athena was known more for her role as judge, diplomat, and mediator than for actually fighting in battle. Her decisions were renowned for their fairness and compassion.

The goddess Athena was a superb strategist and many of the Greek myths recount tales of her help given to various gods, goddesses, and heroes as they went into battle or faced seemingly impossible tests.

Although she was widely known in one of her roles as "Athena Goddess of War", it was as a mediator and a planner that she excelled. She always worked to prevent war, but once war had been joined the goddess Athena fought efficiently for her side.

To prevent the Trojan War, Athena descended from Olympus and walked between the two armies, making both sides swear oaths to keep the peace. Unfortunately a Trojan soldier named Pandaros, in an act of great cowardice, violated his oath and let loose his arrow, thus starting the Trojan War. Athena, Goddess of strategy, expressed her displeasure by helping the other side to emerge victorious.

Remember the Trojan Horse? Just one of Athena's great ideas!

More than any other of the Greek goddesses, Athena remains a symbol of civilization, useful knowledge, noble reasoning, logic and wisdom. The goddess Athena reminds us that we can successfully use our intellect and creativity in the pursuit of any goal we choose.

7. Favorite holiday spots?

Home or my vacation condo in middle Tennessee!

8. Reading right now?

Gentle Reminders-Daily Affirmations for Co-Dependents by Mitzi Chandler and I highly recommend it!

9. 4 words to describe yourself.

Strong, Loving, Giving and Grateful!

10. Guilty pleasure?

Every once in awhile, I will go venture into a See's Candies store and treat myself to TWO scrumptious truffles...usually one in raspberry and one lemon and a yummy Bordeaux bar! HEAVENLY!

11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak?

Ellen Degeneres and the silly games she plays with audience members!

12. Planning to travel to next?

This coming weekend I am heading to Lake Tahoe for a couple of days and I am very excited as I haven't been there in years!

13. Best thing you ate or drank lately?

Smoked bbq'd tri-tip! Fantastic!!!

14. When did you last get tipsy?

Hmmmmm. About two months ago, I suppose...on a couple of glasses of wine.

15. Care to share some wisdom?

~Life is always, ALWAYS much easier spent in comfortable shoes!
~Never! Ever!......rent your property to friends or family!!
~The whole world needs a 12-Step Program of some sort!
~Change your attitude. Change your life. Simple..but true!

16. Nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you?

"I LOVE YOU! So, you'll just have to catch up!"

It's ALL fun and games until someone gets slapped in the face with a generous slab of fairly rare bbq'd tri-tip!

Seriously.

A really drunk someone, okay..it was the hostess... got slapped upside the face with a piece of bloody tri-tip by an equally drunk someone at Birthday Boy's 5th birthday party yesterday.

It went downhill from there and fortunately, I summoned up some good sense and left before Mr. Meatslapper got his nose broken by the hostess in retaliation. As I gathered up my coat and purse, preparing to leave the festivities last night, I began to have a few "post-traumatic" type flashbacks of last Summer when Abbie nearly died of an alcohol overdose. I just don't do drunken bashes very well and I was panicking and teary-eyed on the drive home. It was even more difficult as my co-dependency issues kicked in to ultra-high gear, knowing I left Tam and her boyfriend there and they were as drunk as the best of them!

Upon my arrival yesterday afternoon, I got an inkling of how this child's party was destined to be when one of the guests...a mother nursing a newborn, told me she always asks our hostess her plan of action in order to carry out what needs to be done once the hostess is too wasted to do so.

Ummmmm.

"SWELL!" I thought to myself!

I should have stayed for an hour or so and then bowed out gracefully...but, I didn't. I stayed around long enough to take in some of the violence and crude language in front of the children.

Mix Sangria, ice cold beer, some Southern Comfort, lots of testosterone bubbling up from a group of drunk men in their 30s, some pissed off and/or tipsy wives, tons of impatient and sugared-up kids under the age of 5 and you've got a PARRRRRTTAAAAY!

Today and always, I am really grateful that I don't drink to excess.

I am a serious light weight when it comes to alcohol as I have like... ZERO tolerance for the substance and pretty much ZERO tolerance for DRUNK people.....for that matter! Give me ONE sissy drink, preferably something with a frilly umbrella at a social event, or a glass; maybe two.... of Reisling wine with dinner on occasion and I am just fine, thankyouverymuch. My late father; a certifiable Native American drunk, (in recovery) used to shake his head pitifully at my intolerance and say...."Lisa, sometimes I wonder if you are actually my child!" Again...."For the Grace of God, there go I!" and I am soooo very grateful that I don't have the disease of alcoholism.

Anyway...I don't think I will be able to make it to next year's celebration.

Unfortunately, I've already made plans for that day!

Gee. Darn.

Rejoicing in the Simple Things!

I can honestly say, that I am enjoying life like NEVER before!

If my posting is sporadic, it is only because I am...well, busy....very busy actually, and HAPPY!!

Happy is GOOD!

EXCELLENT really!

But...I've got time for a quick little story!

Yesterday, I was at a friend's house, helping his amazingly joyful five-year-old grandson fill TWO huge Spiderman pinatas with an assortment of candies for today's big birthday celebration. We pulled together an exciting, and colorful assortment of Skittles, M&Ms, Nestle's Crunch, Baby Ruth, Butterfingers, Nerds, Jolly Ranchers and Blowpops and lovingly stuffed the bellies of those Spidermen...to the breaking point!

The Birthday Boy was delighted when we'd open a HUGE bag of fun size packages of M&Ms to find that one of the little packages had opened during transit and mini M&Ms of every color in the rainbow would spill out on the mountian of mixed candy that waited to be stuffed inside the pinatas! So, we'd search through the pile to find those loose gems and eat them before we got to the business of stuffing!

Each little accidental treasure was savored and at one point, Birthday Boy said.......

"Can today get ANY better?"

Of course, it did get better because then we had to sample each type of candy to make sure our Spidey guys would like them as well...since they had to sit all night with them in their tummy!

It's just a couple of hours until the big birthday bash! I have a feelin' he's going to be sayin' the same thing today! It doesn't get much better than a birthday party with a bounce house, friends, family, TWO pinatas, bbq, cake and ice cream and PRESENTS TOO!

Wishing you all a day that gets better and better, with a few M&Ms thrown in for good measure!

This is pretty accurate...and I've GOT NOTHIN' ELSE TO POST!

You Are 9: The Peacemaker

You are emotionally stable and willing to find common ground with others. Your friends and family often look to you to be the mediator when there is conflict. You are easy going and accepting. You take things as they come. Avoiding conflict at all costs, you're content when things are calm. At Your Best: You feel connected, trusting, and fulfilled. You feel at peace with your place in the world. At Your Worst: You compromise your values to make sure peace is maintained. You give in to bullies. Your Fixation: Harmony! Your Primary Fear: Causing conflict! Your Primary Desire: To preserve things as they are. Other Number 9's: Marge Simpson, Ronald Reagan, Audrey Hepburn, Jerry Seinfeld, and Abraham Lincoln.

What Number Are You?

Gratitude Award~Passing it on!

Recently, one of my favorite young bloggers in the "Recovery Community" bestowed this very beautiful and much appreciated award-that she created herself-to me and a few other parents of addicts! Clean and Crazy the author of My Recovery is an amazing young woman, who is battling a narcotics addiction and is seriously working her program! I am very proud of her and so grateful to have become her friend through blogging! (I am not posting her first name, even though I know it, as I don't know if she uses it on her blog!) She suggests we pass this on to others who have given us good reason to hope, no matter how desperate we may feel.

Anyway, I am passing this beautiful award on to several of the amazing bloggers who give me hope as I read about their strength, experience and hope in their lives that have been affected by the devastating effects of drugs, alcohol, or both! I hope you will find them as interesting and forth-coming as I do and that you too are as inspired by their hope for a better life through their recovery.

And in no particular order, the award goes to...............

Cat at Wait! What?...HOW did I forget her? How could I forget this incredibly inspiring woman! My apologies!!


Jess at Journey of the Spirit of Hope!

Sarah at Complications of a Perfect Life!

Annette at Journey of Recovery!

Ann H. at Coffee, Cigarettes and the Center of the Universe!

Pammie at Sobriety is Exhausting!

Syd at I'm just F.I.N.E.

Indigo at Scream Quietly!

Christina at Just Letting Go!

and last but not least....

Her Big Sad!

I reserve the right to add to this if I realize I forgot to include some of my favorite recovery blogs and I want you to know that An Addict in Our Son's Bedroom and Subdural Flow would have also received this award from me if they hadn't already received it when I did!

Blessings to you all who give me hope on a daily basis!

Deliver ME!

So, it's Easter afternoon and I get a very nice call from the runaway, wishing me a Happy Easter! She and my son, along with their significant others were on their way to eat dinner with their birthmother and extended family.

A couple of hours later, she calls again. This time, she requests that I use my debit card to order and pay for a pizza for her and her boyfriend!



Apparently the Princess didn't like what they were having for dinner!

Poor baby!

Of course, I said "No! We're not getting in to nonsense like that!" I asked her about the tip money she'd earned recently and among other things, she dejectedly told me she'd given it to family members for gas money as they were hauling her around town, etc. I could tell she was miffed as we ended the call, but I stood firm and again, I just laughed at the absurdity of the situation!

This morning my son, now 22 years old, called from Oklahoma as he was about to begin enrolling Abbie in school, since I have decided to let her stay and try this grown-up stuff on for size...with a few imposed conditions of course.

I asked him what was up with his sister calling me and requesting that I order and pay for a pizza for her last night! He was surprised and obviously was not aware that she did that, and asked her about it right then and there. She replied that she didn't like the bbq'd brisket, and was hungry once she got back to his place and got the idea for pizza.

I told Bubba that if she wanted to be a grown-up, she needed to use her own money to pay for a pizza instead of calling Mom, who is hundreds of miles away to pay for it!

He agreed whole-heartedly and said to the both of us......

"This being an adult ain't no fuckin' easy shit!"

I am thinking this is going to be a great learning experience for them both!

What is a Man?

For my favorite men out there and I know you know who you are, because I believe I've told the lot of you how special you are to me! But, just in case you need a reminder....Remo, Syd, Chris, Dad @ Dad and Mom, Detective Dave, Reinventing Dad, Don, and Irish Gumbo! I enjoyed this article that I found online this morning and thought I'd share it!



(Photo from Photobucket. Any imagined resemblance to a specific man who may happen to grace CW2sMom's life is purely coincidental! ;P Damn it!)


Five essential characteristics that define a real man, according to Esquire's columnist!

By Tom Chiarella for Esquire


A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him -- woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things -- a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds -- engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.

1. The Communication Style of a Man

A man can speak to dogs.

A man listens, and that's how he argues. He crafts opinions. He can pound the table, take the floor. It's not that he must. It's that he can.

A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

2. Man's Ability to Handle Mistakes

A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.

3. Man's Basic Instincts

A man does not wither at the thought of dancing. But it is generally to be avoided.

Style -- a man has that. No matter how eccentric that style is, it is uncontrived. It's a set of rules.

A man loves the human body, the revelation of nakedness. He loves the sight of the pale bosom, the physics of the human skeleton, the alternating current of the flesh. He is thrilled by the wrist and the sight of a bare shoulder. He likes the crease of a bent knee.

Maybe he never has, and maybe he never will, but a man figures he can knock someone, somewhere, on his bottom.

A man doesn't point out that he did the dishes.

A man knows how to ridicule.

A man gets the door. Without thinking.

He stops traffic when he must.

A man knows how to lose an afternoon. Playing Grand Theft Auto, driving aimlessly, shooting pool.

He knows how to lose a month, also.

A man welcomes the coming of age. It frees him. It allows him to assume the upper hand and teaches him when to step aside.

He understands the basic mechanics of the planet. Or he can close one eye, look up at the sun, and tell you what time of day it is. Or where north is. He can tell you where you might find something to eat or where the fish run. He understands electricity or the internal-combustion engine, the mechanics of flight or how to figure a pitcher's ERA.

A man does not know everything. He doesn't try. He likes what other men know.

A man knows his tools and how to use them -- just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud, when to use galvanized nails. A miter saw, incidentally, is the kind that sits on a table, has a circular blade, and is used for cutting at precise angles. Very satisfying saw.

4. The Paradox of Man

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn't winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. He doesn't see himself lost in some great maw of humanity, some grand sweep. That's the liberal thread; it's why men won't line up as liberals.

A man resists formulations, questions belief, embraces ambiguity without making a fetish out of it. A man revisits his beliefs. Continually. That's why men won't forever line up with conservatives, either.

5. Man the Island

A man is comfortable being alone. Loves being alone, actually. He sleeps. Or he stands watch. He interrupts trouble. This is the state policeman. This is the poet. Men, both of them.

A man loves driving alone most of all.

A man watches. Sometimes he goes and sits at an auction knowing he won't spend a dime, witnessing the temptation and the maneuvering of others. Sometimes he stands on the street corner watching stuff. This is not about quietude so much as collection. It is not about meditation so much as considering. A man refracts his vision and gains acuity. This serves him in every way. No one taught him this -- to be quiet, to cipher, to watch. In this way, in these moments, the man is like a zoo animal: both captive and free. You cannot take your eyes off a man when he is like that. You shouldn't. Who knows what he is thinking, who he is, or what he will do next.

Progress....via a text message!

"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment."


~Greenville Kleisser

I LOVE to laugh and even through this dreadful runaway situation, I've managed to see the humor and the absurdity in it all! This morning I was treated to the best text message I've EVER received from Abbie and I laughed until I about fell out of bed!

What did her text message say, you ask?

Ready?



CAN U SEND ME MY EASTER BASKET?!



I get the feeling that Easter just won't be quite the same in Oklahoma! And Damn it....this "grown up" stuff ain't what it's cracked up to be, is it?!

(Easter Basket Photo from Photobucket!)