Rescue Woman~Super Hero

Weekend Assignment #16: Create a brand-new Superhero secret identity for yourself, based on your personality and proclivities -- and make sure to list at least one "super power" that relates to a special talent you have. Now, to be clear, this "super power" shouldn't actually be a super power, like the ability to fly or shoot lasers from your eyes (unless you can actually do that). No, we're just talking about naming a "talent" you have, in superhero terms. So, for example, if you're really good at finding bargains, you could say you have Super Shopping Senses -- "Oooh! My shopping sense is tingling! Something in this aisle is on sale!!!!" Like that.

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Presenting………….Rescue Woman-Super Hero

Yes, meet Rescue Woman!  Compelled to solve your problems, big or small! Destined to save the human race! Gladly assumes responsibility for the well-being of others!

Harried and overcommitted, but still managing to wear the weight of the world on her tired shoulders! An enormous burden!

Proudly protecting her loved ones from their God-given, American right to fall flat on their faces, pull themselves up with their boot straps and make their own way in the world! Anticipating and providing for their every need!

Fearlessly ensuring that they never have to face the awful consequences of their behavior in such horrifying situations like........overdue Science projects or the pain and humiliation of failing grades, empty gas tanks and disconnected cell phones!

Rent? Not a problem! You say you have no where to live? Lost everything? Family of seven?  Piece of cake!  Rescue Woman will move you in to her home and single-handedly pull together an entire household of furniture, dishes, clothing, cash donations, etc. to replace what you lost to repeated bad decisions and get you on your feet again!

What a woman!

Fortified with her super-charged stress breakfast, consisting of Diet Pepsi on the rocks and a scrumptious chocolate donut in one hand, she will stoically reach in and grab her checkbook or wallet and handle those pesky little bills for you!

Watch her step up to the plate, at any hour day or night, and deal with near fatal drug and/or alcohol overdoses. She’ll stay up all night at your bedside, then work a 10 hour day and still pull together a last minute book report; typed to perfection, for a surly 12-year old who just remembered it was due yesterday!

With little regard for herself and at the expense of her mental and physical health, (mammograms? Rescue Woman doesn’t need no stinkin’ mammogram) her personal relationships and household, she will always be there for those she loves and a few others, ensuring that they live their lives like she thinks they should!

Laughing in the face of those who spout their New-Age nonsense and label her "co-dependent," she will forever flex her slightly flabby arm and cry……..

"OH, NO…It can’t be!  Rescue Woman at your service!"