Papa is Home

Given the proper incentive, no mountain, it seems, is too high to climb, no current too swift to swim, if one is a Cherokee.

                 Grace Steele Woodward

 

It's been a full, busy week since Papa came home via the Hospice transport.  He was so happy to be home in his own bed and he slept pretty good for the first couple of days until his pain increased.  He's had some visitors from close family and friends. 

Since it's been so busy, I haven't had much time for my journaling, so today's entry is more of a synopsis of what's been happening. 

Nursing Papa is mostly a 24 hour job but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I don't know how I could do all this without Hospice's help and support.  Tricia, my best buddy is also an angel and helps me every night as we change his TPN (IV feeding) and get him ready for the night.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Papa had a very restful night and so did I for a change. In fact, I didn't have to get up once and was up at 0600, ready for a quiet morning, before the rest of the family wakes up.

We have finally got his pain under control. He is now wearing 2 duragesic Fentanyl patches, and I have supplemented with 1-2 Norco every 4 hours, to help with "break-through" pain as suggested by the Hospice nurse. So far, he has not experienced any of the previous reactions to narcotic pain relievers and is resting very comfortably.

He is still lucid when he wakes up and can carry on a short conversation before he’s had enough and is ready to close his eyes. Yesterday, Laura, his current hospice Registered Nurse (GiGi is on vacation) told me to try to limit his visitors to about 5 minutes, because it can really zap the patient’s energy. She said that often they’ll get so tired that they’ll sleep for 2 days afterwards, then rally back again.

Laura was an absolute angel and I felt an immediate connection with her. When she arrived, the cat took the opportunity to run out the front door and she said, "That looks just like my Oreo!" I about fell over and said, "That’s our Oreo!" Coincidence or just a bunch of black and white cats with a name that Ithought was going to be pretty original?

After finishing with Papa, she sat with me for such a long time, while I cried and asked a lot of questions about "the end" and the spirit leaving the body. The spirit question was prompted by something that Rocky that he experienced when he was present for the death of 2 family members. He said that he observed something like a "vapor" leave the body at the exact moment of death. With the first death, he thought he may have been imagining things, but when it happened the second time, he knew what he saw was real. Laura’s answer was that she personally never experienced that when near a dying patient, but she did smell roses once. She said that she has "heard" others say they experienced what Rocky witnessed, and that some people are just more "in tune" to those sort of spiritual things than others.

This morning, Frances, his Home Health Aide, will be here to give him a bath, shave and wash his hair. She is so gentle and caring with him, which is so important right now as sometimes, he can experience discomfort just by being touched or moved.

Yesterday we had a visit from Ed, the Hospice Chaplain. I absolutely fell in love with him. He’s a long and lanky cowboy type and a spry 78 years old. He was easy to talk to and asked lots of questions to determine the family dynamics, while spending a couple of hours with us. Tammy and Abbie were both here and I am so glad that they were able to spend time with him as well. Ab tends to avoid all of what’s happening by spending time with her best friend across the street, but I managed to get her home for his visit and she seemed to enjoy and listen intently to what he said about grief and all. We then spent some time with Papa and held hands and prayed around his bed. Ed is a Mason, like Papa and they had several other things in common, so it seemed to be a good fit.

Since Papa hasn’t been an active member of any church, Ed said that he’d be happy to officiate at Papa’s services if needed. He also asked me if I’d talked with Papa recently about his wishes for burial and the like. I told him that we’d talked about it a few months ago, but I’d again bring it up to make sure that I had right. This morning, Papa seemed to be very alert, so we talked about his wishes. He said that he wanted to be cremated. He said he wanted his body taken directly to the crematory, and no unnecessary, costly preparation. He told me that he didn’t want to be buried in Oklahoma after all. He said that he’d like to be buried here in town, then moved to the new Veteran’s Cemetery when it’s finished in the next few years.

That’s what I was hoping he’d say. I just need to have "him" nearby.