Internet Dating

To reach any significant goal, you must leave your comfort zone.

~Steven Covey

 

Papa used to say he’d get married again when he needed help back and forth to the bathroom. Me? I’ve decided to start looking now considering I ain‘t gettin‘ any younger.

So, I stepped way out of my comfort zone. Yep. I joined one of those online dating services; the one that claims it‘s “Different” with “Thousands of Success Stories!” You know the one, founded by the grandfatherly Doctor; a relationship “expert” who combined “clinical expertise with the latest technology” (a computerized Personality Profile) to help millions find the right person for life-long love and happiness.

Compatibility is the key according to our relationship expert and his detailed questionnaire will measure the intricate facets of a person to include the “29 dimensions that are most important in relationship success.”

Now, supposedly he finds you matches, based upon some of the important dimensions. The introductory profile information lists three of the “Relationship Strengths” from the person’s Personality Profile, his best life-skills, how his friends would describe him, what he’s passionate about in life, what he’s thankful for and how he spends his leisure time. Then of course is the list of things you two have in common. You may also receive a photo of your match, or he can share it with you at a later stage. The next step is for one of you to begin communicating with the other match by selecting 5 questions out of a possibility of 20 or so that they provide for you to ask your match.

Call me picky, but any woman who’s worked around convicted felons as long as I have can quickly spot an idiot. Who knew there were that many on one dating service? I have “closed” matches on 55 of ‘em.

The latest………………………

Meet dick. Yes dick. Not Capital D…Dick. Just dick. Obviously dick doesn’t know how to capitalize his name.

I don’t know. Maybe he had potential; he’s 55 and a successful Real Estate Appraiser, who lives about 45 minutes away. But you know….I just find it hard (no pun intended) to refer to someone as “Dick.” Try introducing your new boyfriend “Dick” to your 13 year old daughter.  It just wouldn’t work.

Although, it wasn’t just his name that sealed his fate with me, it was his choice of introductory questions that he asked me to answer.  Well, actually it was just one of the 5 that was a real turn-off for me and I felt it was indicative (again, no pun intended) of his true colors.

The offending question:

How do you feel about premarital sex?

Answers available:

0 I am completely opposed to it.

0 As long as marriage is imminent, it is okay.

0 In the context of a loving relationship, it is okay.

0 I accept sex as a natural part of dating.

0 _________________________________________________.

 

There was just not enough room in that fill in the blank section for me to completely answer this question as I wanted.

Something like…………Dick!  Dick…….Dude…is this really a problem for you? How many 50 year old women have you dated that have decided to save themselves for their 2nd marriage?

So, instead I just closed the match.  You know, I have a feeling there are a lot of Dicks out there.

I may be single for quite awhile.