Monday, April 13, 2009

Deliver ME!

So, it's Easter afternoon and I get a very nice call from the runaway, wishing me a Happy Easter! She and my son, along with their significant others were on their way to eat dinner with their birthmother and extended family.

A couple of hours later, she calls again. This time, she requests that I use my debit card to order and pay for a pizza for her and her boyfriend!

pizza Pictures, Images and Photos

Apparently the Princess didn't like what they were having for dinner!

Poor baby!

Of course, I said "No! We're not getting in to nonsense like that!" I asked her about the tip money she'd earned recently and among other things, she dejectedly told me she'd given it to family members for gas money as they were hauling her around town, etc. I could tell she was miffed as we ended the call, but I stood firm and again, I just laughed at the absurdity of the situation!

This morning my son, now 22 years old, called from Oklahoma as he was about to begin enrolling Abbie in school, since I have decided to let her stay and try this grown-up stuff on for size...with a few imposed conditions of course.

I asked him what was up with his sister calling me and requesting that I order and pay for a pizza for her last night! He was surprised and obviously was not aware that she did that, and asked her about it right then and there. She replied that she didn't like the bbq'd brisket, and was hungry once she got back to his place and got the idea for pizza.

I told Bubba that if she wanted to be a grown-up, she needed to use her own money to pay for a pizza instead of calling Mom, who is hundreds of miles away to pay for it!

He agreed whole-heartedly and said to the both of us......

"This being an adult ain't no fuckin' easy shit!"

I am thinking this is going to be a great learning experience for them both!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

What is a Man?

For my favorite men out there and I know you know who you are, because I believe I've told the lot of you how special you are to me! But, just in case you need a reminder....Remo, Syd, Chris, Dad @ Dad and Mom, Detective Dave, Reinventing Dad, Don, and Irish Gumbo! I enjoyed this article that I found online this morning and thought I'd share it!

a real man Pictures, Images and Photos

(Photo from Photobucket. Any imagined resemblance to a specific man who may happen to grace CW2sMom's life is purely coincidental! ;P Damn it!)


Five essential characteristics that define a real man, according to Esquire's columnist!

By Tom Chiarella for Esquire


A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him -- woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things -- a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds -- engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.

1. The Communication Style of a Man

A man can speak to dogs.

A man listens, and that's how he argues. He crafts opinions. He can pound the table, take the floor. It's not that he must. It's that he can.

A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

2. Man's Ability to Handle Mistakes

A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.

3. Man's Basic Instincts

A man does not wither at the thought of dancing. But it is generally to be avoided.

Style -- a man has that. No matter how eccentric that style is, it is uncontrived. It's a set of rules.

A man loves the human body, the revelation of nakedness. He loves the sight of the pale bosom, the physics of the human skeleton, the alternating current of the flesh. He is thrilled by the wrist and the sight of a bare shoulder. He likes the crease of a bent knee.

Maybe he never has, and maybe he never will, but a man figures he can knock someone, somewhere, on his bottom.

A man doesn't point out that he did the dishes.

A man knows how to ridicule.

A man gets the door. Without thinking.

He stops traffic when he must.

A man knows how to lose an afternoon. Playing Grand Theft Auto, driving aimlessly, shooting pool.

He knows how to lose a month, also.

A man welcomes the coming of age. It frees him. It allows him to assume the upper hand and teaches him when to step aside.

He understands the basic mechanics of the planet. Or he can close one eye, look up at the sun, and tell you what time of day it is. Or where north is. He can tell you where you might find something to eat or where the fish run. He understands electricity or the internal-combustion engine, the mechanics of flight or how to figure a pitcher's ERA.

A man does not know everything. He doesn't try. He likes what other men know.

A man knows his tools and how to use them -- just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud, when to use galvanized nails. A miter saw, incidentally, is the kind that sits on a table, has a circular blade, and is used for cutting at precise angles. Very satisfying saw.

4. The Paradox of Man

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn't winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. He doesn't see himself lost in some great maw of humanity, some grand sweep. That's the liberal thread; it's why men won't line up as liberals.

A man resists formulations, questions belief, embraces ambiguity without making a fetish out of it. A man revisits his beliefs. Continually. That's why men won't forever line up with conservatives, either.

5. Man the Island

A man is comfortable being alone. Loves being alone, actually. He sleeps. Or he stands watch. He interrupts trouble. This is the state policeman. This is the poet. Men, both of them.

A man loves driving alone most of all.

A man watches. Sometimes he goes and sits at an auction knowing he won't spend a dime, witnessing the temptation and the maneuvering of others. Sometimes he stands on the street corner watching stuff. This is not about quietude so much as collection. It is not about meditation so much as considering. A man refracts his vision and gains acuity. This serves him in every way. No one taught him this -- to be quiet, to cipher, to watch. In this way, in these moments, the man is like a zoo animal: both captive and free. You cannot take your eyes off a man when he is like that. You shouldn't. Who knows what he is thinking, who he is, or what he will do next.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Progress....via a text message!

"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment."


~Greenville Kleisser


Easter Basket Pictures, Images and Photos

I LOVE to laugh and even through this dreadful runaway situation, I've managed to see the humor and the absurdity in it all! This morning I was treated to the best text message I've EVER received from Abbie and I laughed until I about fell out of bed!

What did her text message say, you ask?

Ready?



CAN U SEND ME MY EASTER BASKET?!



I get the feeling that Easter just won't be quite the same in Oklahoma! And Damn it....this "grown up" stuff ain't what it's cracked up to be, is it?!

(Easter Basket Photo from Photobucket!)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Simple Woman's Daybook......



The writing prompts, which are in bold font come from a blog entitled The Simple Woman's Daybook, which I found via another blogger who participated. Today, I decided to jump in with both feet and play along! I hope some of you will enjoy participating as well and link back to her! Blessings to you all!

Outside my window...dark clouds and the pending rain threaten my planned afternoon walk.

I am thinking...how much I am enjoying the peace and laughter in my life this week.

I am thankful for...recent learning experiences in my life and the excellent knowledge I've gained from them.

From the kitchen...I am enjoying the fruits of Joseph's labor of love for Tam and I! Mmmmmmm good!

I am wearing...my jammies as it's a perfect day to stay inside and just be!

I am creating...my new and improved reality, through thought and deed!

I am going...to try to complete several blog entries today!

I am reading...uplifting self-help books, Al-Anon material, blogs and email.

I am hoping...for the help and guidance of my Higher Power in this runaway situation.

I am hearing...the sound of my school-girl giggling for the first time in years!!

Around the house...there's a peace that I haven't experienced in a very long time!

One of my favorite things...is attending open, AA Speaker Meetings and leaving with inspiration, hope and joy in my heart.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Going to the Post Office to mail several boxes. Meeting with a new counselor who specializes in co-dependency/drug and alcohol issues as my much loved counselor is no longer working for my HMO! :( Praying for those that I love and for the strength to Let Go and Let God handle life's tough stuff!

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Easter Pictures, Images and Photos

Sunday, April 5, 2009

An Update on the Runaway Situation

My daughter and her boyfriend managed to make it to Oklahoma, with apparent assistance from her birth family, who live there. Because her adoption was somewhat "open" she's had frequent contact with many of them throughout the years, which poses its own set of problems.

In an appreciated act of kindness and concern, one of her birth brothers called me to let me know that she was safe and asked to hear my version of the incident. Abbie and I then exchanged some pretty angry emails, in which she threatened to run away again if she was forced to return. I promptly notified our local police of her whereabouts, via a voicemail message on the reporting officer's telephone but I haven't heard anything back from them so I will follow-up tomorrow.

She and I didn't communicate for several days after the angry emails, and I think it was good that we both had the time to simmer down. On Saturday she called me and was very excited to tell me that she'd just finished a 7 and a half-hour shift as a car-hop at Sonic, and she'd made over 30 dollars in tips! I congratulated her on her resourcefulness and told her we'd talk more later as I was attending an AA/Al-Anon convention down the mountain.

The trip to the convention gave me lots of time to discuss this situation further with my sponsor and I have been leaning towards letting her stay in Oklahoma, however, I will meet with my counselor this coming week to also seek her input. Additionally, I have been in contact with Abbie's Life Coach and she and I are going to have a telephone appointment on Thursday, to discuss the possibility of Abbie staying there, with continued telephone support, including goal setting, from the Life Coach. It could work and it may be the healthiest solution for our family at this time.

With only Tam and I here, it is very peaceful and that is the upside of this difficult situation.

Again, I am a very grateful Al-Anon member as I know my reaction to this ordeal would have been significantly worse, without this incredible program. The inspirational speakers at Saturday's convention were just what the doctor ordered for this frazzled Mom! I couldn't have a better sponsor either! Her insight is an incredible blessing!

hope Pictures, Images and Photos

All considered, it was a good weekend!

The Nonsense of Life.........

This hit home for me today! It's a short film of words only...just about a minute in length!


'the nonsense of life' from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Oh Please! Would you just come out now and yell..."April Foooooollllls!"



This is all a JOKE, right?


Some of my yesterdays have been pretty tough recently.

"Pretty tough?"

Certainly, an understatement, wouldn't ya think?

I have been on an emotional and physical roller-coaster which is contributing to me having a nuclear meltdown of sorts. Ummmm. Let's see.... What could have possibly caused such earth-shattering ruckus on the home front? An evil torture machine (mammogram) and it's operator gone wild? Verbal abuse and threats from my teenage terrorist...I mean "Sweet Child of Mine" and her subsequent escape (running away) from her dysfunctional home filled with hormonal women? Three hours yesterday in the Dentist's chair for a crown prep? The sad dissolution of a long-term friendship because I reacted to my feelings of rejection, AGAIN?

What is that handy-dandy AA/Al-Anon acronym for Self-Care that I just heard about and obviously haven't used?




Oh yes, HALT!

Hungry or Hurt (I've seen it and like it with either/or!)
Angry
Lonely
Tired

Our emotional resilience is not going to be in top form when we are feeling any of those things listed above and in recovery speak, we can "relapse" into our "old belief systems." Unfortunately, since some of my belief systems are damn near antique yet haven't matured, they can be as active as a young whipper-snapper at the most inopportune times!

But, I know I am a work in constant progress, regardless of whether certain folks close to me can see it, or would choose to consider that fact when I am in "reaction" mode. My inner little girl just wants to know that she is loved, worthy and supported, at those times when she's not feeling it.

Little Lisa likes to stomp her foot and say "Please just love me and tell me that everything's going to be okay!" Yet, some people just can't or won't do that for her. And she just doesn't understand.

Why can't they? Why not? She wonders, because she knows she's good and kind and loving; a delightful, smart girl.


So she cries.

Begs!

Pleads.

Then, she stomps her feet some more but nothing changes. She falls to the ground in a heap, sobbing and telling herself that someone, someday will love her, just like she's been wishing for her whole life!

And...it was all because she was hurt, angry, lonely and so fuckin' tired!

THE END.

Good night!

I Wish I Said That!

LOVE LOVE Pictures, Images and Photos

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

- Neil Gaiman

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

That's what friends are for!

thanks for being my friend! Pictures, Images and Photos


Late yesterday afternoon, I spent quite a bit of time talking with my sponsor about this situation with Abbie. It was our regularly scheduled weekly appointment to "work the steps" but instead we just talked and laughed, and of course, I cried every once in awhile. That's what I love about Al-Anon...we just go with the flow and we can sincerely laugh even while our hearts are breaking.

Earlier in the day, I had decided to continue with some of my plans like Bunco, but as the day wore on I began to feel guilty. Shouldn't I stay home just in case she calls or comes home? What if I am at Bunco and the police call me with her in custody? What will they think? What kind of mother goes to play Bunco, to eat, drink and be merry with friends when her 17 year old kid just ran away?

Upon expressing my concern to my sponsor, she practically insisted I go and have a little fun, but of course, only if I truly felt like going. Then she proposed a much better idea and invited me to attend the open Speaker's Meeting at our local Alcoholic's Anonymous group hall. So...that's where I ended up instead!

I love going to the speaker's meetings as they're very inspiring and chock full of crazy, honest, loving, feeling people who laugh whole-heartedly in appreciation and understanding of their fellow drunks! They have way more fun sober than us Al Anon people! They can be hysterically funny and dramatic! I laughed until I cried at times, and boy did I need that way more than a bunch of gossipy women and stupid little prizes at Bunco!

The main speaker told a great little story about how he's made lifelong friends in AA and how they are there for him no matter what, at any time of the day! He said there was a time years ago when he fell off the wagon after breaking up with his girlfriend and he was very, very despondent. So he called his AA buddy and this is what transpired.....

Him: Hey Bud...I am not doing good. I feel terrible about this breakup. AWFUL! I feel like dying. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I should kill myself or commit myself!

AA Buddy: DUDE! Whatever you do....DON'T COMMIT YOURSELF!!!

Now that's is some kind of friend!

Thanks to all of you for your kind words, support, love and prayers! I know you'd be the kind of friends to stop me if I ever even thought about committing myself!

My Little Runaway.......

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. ~Al Bernstein


fashion Pictures, Images and Photos

I had to laugh yesterday when Tam complained that when Ab packed up several bags of clothes to take with her, she also managed to run off with lots of Tam's clothes as well, including a pair of Tam's favorite high heels!

At least my very spoiled 17 year old will be looking rather stylish while she's sponging off other people and maybe smoking a little "bud" that her "friends" have purchased! It may be that she finds it somewhat impractical to try to run from the police, who now have her listed as an official "missing person" in those beautiful and totally fashionable pumps!!

Red High Heels Pictures, Images and Photos

Life as she has known it has come to a screeching halt, since she's decided to run away! No longer will she be able to afford the luxuries of her addictive life that she's grown accustomed to, such as cigarettes, regular marijuana, a cell phone....(which I considered shutting off today since she's not answering it anyway-but the police suggested I leave it on for now). And...let's not forget those very expensive hair cuts, cute clothes, make-up and HOT looking high heels!

I'm thinkin' she's got tougher times ahead!

She'll come to her senses before long; I am sure of it!