It's Cold and Flu Season!

“There ain’t nothing uglier than a sick, old White woman!”

                                `Immortal words of JM Newman-my Papa

                                                                              

The wait for my prescription to be filled would be “at east 45 minutes” according to the cheery clerk at my clearly over-burdened HMO pharmacy Monday evening.

Every stiff chair lining the perimeter walls was filled with someone who looked, sounded and probably felt just as bad as I did. If I may speak for all of us, “we” were in NO mood to wait that long in a room full of other sick souls; one of which was likely to infect us with some horrific malady, destined to be the final nail in our coffin, considering our weakened state.

As I had spent three wretched days in bed with fever, body aches, congestion and a cough from the depths of HELL, I knew I had something akin to Meningitis. But the fine young M.D. disagreed and told me I had a “virus.” Of course, there was “nothing” he could do except write me a prescription for cough medicine with Codeine and then recommend “Sudafed” with lots of fluids and rest. He politely patted me on my feverish head and off I went to the pharmacy.

My 45 minute wait, turned into an hour and my body was revolting. It was the first time in over 48 hours that it had been in a vertical position. I headed over to the vending machine and bought a cool bottle of water, hoping I was strong enough to twist open the cap.

After and hour and a half, they still hadn’t called my number, or put my name up on their visual display. There was at least 25 people waiting in line to pick up their prescriptions. Considering the numbers and how slow the line was moving, I figured I‘d just better get my fanny in line and hopefully, by the time I got to the counter, mine would be ready.

We took the wait in stride; laughing and joking amongst ourselves. And, of course, covering our coughs. One lady behind me picked up the newspaper and turned to the obituaries saying, “I am going to look and see if I died!”

I replied, “Well, if I didn’t die, I sure missed a good opportunity over the weekend!”

Another lady said, “I think I am going to die of old age before I can pick up my prescription!”

Finally, after another 45 minutes passed, I made to the counter, paid for my prescription and left. I had to step over some guy’s skinny, out-stretched legs to make it out the door. He may have just been asleep, but I swear, it could have been rigormortis!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s cold and flu season.