Late yesterday afternoon, I spent quite a bit of time talking with my sponsor about this situation with Abbie. It was our regularly scheduled weekly appointment to "work the steps" but instead we just talked and laughed, and of course, I cried every once in awhile. That's what I love about Al-Anon...we just go with the flow and we can sincerely laugh even while our hearts are breaking.
Earlier in the day, I had decided to continue with some of my plans like Bunco, but as the day wore on I began to feel guilty. Shouldn't I stay home just in case she calls or comes home? What if I am at Bunco and the police call me with her in custody? What will they think? What kind of mother goes to play Bunco, to eat, drink and be merry with friends when her 17 year old kid just ran away?
Upon expressing my concern to my sponsor, she practically insisted I go and have a little fun, but of course, only if I truly felt like going. Then she proposed a much better idea and invited me to attend the open Speaker's Meeting at our local Alcoholic's Anonymous group hall. So...that's where I ended up instead!
I love going to the speaker's meetings as they're very inspiring and chock full of crazy, honest, loving, feeling people who laugh whole-heartedly in appreciation and understanding of their fellow drunks! They have way more fun sober than us Al Anon people! They can be hysterically funny and dramatic! I laughed until I cried at times, and boy did I need that way more than a bunch of gossipy women and stupid little prizes at Bunco!
The main speaker told a great little story about how he's made lifelong friends in AA and how they are there for him no matter what, at any time of the day! He said there was a time years ago when he fell off the wagon after breaking up with his girlfriend and he was very, very despondent. So he called his AA buddy and this is what transpired.....
Him: Hey Bud...I am not doing good. I feel terrible about this breakup. AWFUL! I feel like dying. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I should kill myself or commit myself!
AA Buddy: DUDE! Whatever you do....DON'T COMMIT YOURSELF!!!
Now that's is some kind of friend!
Thanks to all of you for your kind words, support, love and prayers! I know you'd be the kind of friends to stop me if I ever even thought about committing myself!
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I'm glad you went to that open AA meeting. They do have a lot of fun. Al-Anon's sometimes seem to be in more pain than the alcoholic relative. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteyou know though, we were just speaking of this in our womens meeting tonight and it is hard for an al-anoner not to take themselves so seriously, because and alcoholic/ addict knows when they have relapsed, but how do you tell when you have relapsed or where is the line that our family members have to draw. it is much harder i think for family members to be clear about where to draw the line and what is or is not considered bad i don't know what you call it maybe i better go to a meeting there, if they will let me and not use me as a pinata!! That was a joke by the way, thanks for the nice comments
ReplyDeleteHI there, I am in Al Anon for a year and progressed swiftly or so I thought till I caught myself in relapses. By now I focus on THINK and taking a bit of time - that mostly leads to the awareness where I relapsed. I am not yet so good and taking the appropriate actions but I found it so helpful to learn how to spot my relapses and meorize the occasions. We all have up and downs in our healing and it might sound weird, but those relapses are most helpful, they teach me where I have to look and focus before advancing. We are work in progress - isnt it beautiful to discover and rediscover oneself evers day anew. Paula
ReplyDeleteSounds like just what the doctor ordered, L.
ReplyDeleteI do hope this whole thing resolves soon...for you own peace of mind.
XOXOX
i have obviously missed something here- going back to read the last post ( how the hell did i miss that ?)
ReplyDeleteI love the aa open meetings I go to with my husband - I actually began going to those before I ever looked for or attended al anon - who knew!?
ReplyDeleteCat
Committing yourself? Ya know the ones who need it never think of that! It would be impossible not to be distracted and off point at times with all this going on but when others are somewhat scurrilous under similar pressure I find you to be more gracious than you realize.
ReplyDelete~Mary D
Thank you so much for following my blog.
ReplyDeleteJust a little word of encouragement: I was a heathen and I do mean a HEATHEN for many many years. I am clean and sober and will celebrate my 10 year anniversary in September of this year. If I can do it, anyone can. I'll be back. ;0)
Hi I just became your # 100 follower. Do I get a prize or something? hehe j/k. I like your blog-I hope you don't mind another follower!
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