My mother would just trip out if she were still here on earth.  She'd say...."I can't possibly have a daughter that is 51, since I am only 39!"  She hung on to that 39, just like Jack Benny for as long as she could.  I would have liked to hang on to 50 for a little bit longer, but tomorrow it's gone.

I have decided I am just not old enough to be 51. 

Fifty was fine.  I couldn't wait to turn 50 and up until just about a month ago, I was still telling people that I JUST had my 50th birthday.  I celebrated for the entire year! 

Last year, in November, I celebrated my upcoming 50th birthday by taking a 7 day cruise to Mexico.  It was supposed to be a family cruise, but Bubba ran away just days before we were to leave and Papa was very ill and recovering from unexpected surgery.  I came so very close to cancelling, but I would have lost quite a bit of money, so Papa insisted I go.  My brothers spent the week here with Papa and they pampered him and had some quality time as well.  It was good for all concerned.  

So, Tam and Trish were my substitutes and they were thrilled.  We had an absolutely wonderful time in Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta and my favorite, Cabo San Lucas.  It was a vacation of a lifetime that brought a lot of joy during a very stressful point in our lives.  

Ten days later we had a 50s themed party with a disc jockey, and about a hundred guests.  Papa was in the hospital again, and Bubba was still gone, but I felt loved and honored by all that attended.  It was one of the best days of my life, in one of the worst years I've ever experienced. 

Now I am starting a brand new year, a little older and a little wiser.  I am looking forward to less sadness and more fun with my family and friends.  I plan on reducing the clutter in my life, and strengthening my faith.  I will create more dreams and love more intensely.

And...tomorrow I will celebrate my birthday with Ab and her friends at Knott's Berry Farm.

Happy Birthday to ME!