What life delivers!

Today, we celebrated Phil's upcoming retirement after 22 years of faithful State service, with a potluck.  Well, I should say...some of us honored Phil by continuing with our plans, even though he couldn't be there with us.  

There was one whole department, in fact the department that had promised at least 20 different food dishes for the event,  who decided we were "tacky" by continuing with the "celebration" when Phil was laying in a hospital bed after suffering a stroke on Tuesday morning. 

After we learned of Phil's stroke, the planners...those closest to Phil, discussed the situation and decided that if Phil couldn't come to the party, we'd take the party to him, via video-tape.  He had a long road to recovery and certainly wouldn't be in any shape to attend a party again any time in the near future.  We felt that if the potluck went on as planned and we could video-tape our messages of love and encouragement, it would help him in his recovery so he could enjoy the retirement that he'd worked for so long!  So, we continued as planned. 

Phil's condition worsened.  He suffered a major stroke yesterday afternoon.  It didn't look good.  That made us more determined to ensure that Phil knew how much we loved him, and how he touched our lives while we worked together so closely over the years.  Nothing was going to change our minds about video-taping our tribute to this man, and we felt it was a very loving and special thing to do.

However, a lot of people didn't think the way we did and they refused to participate.    

They were offended and in "an uproar!" according to some sources.  They weren't coming and they were not contributing their food items as promised. 

They telephoned my secretary repeatedly through the day with snide comments about what we were doing.  She and I were stunned at their response to something that we; his closest co-workers, thought would be a blessing to him and his family at this difficult time.  

Then we received more bad news.  Phil was on life-support and not expected to live. 

We shed tears as we continued with our plans to honor this wonderful man.

We didn't have much food, but we had enough for those in attendance.  Our serving area was decorated with colorful tablecloths, bright blue paper plates with matching napkins, and helium filled balloons, which surrounded an 8x10 framed photo of a young uniformed Phil, all those years ago.  We signed a Get Well Soon card and a Congrats on Your Retirement card! 

The Master of Ceremonies scanned the food and serving area with fun commentary!  Like a roving reporter, he asked those in attendance for favorite memories of Phil.  We all stepped forward for our turn to share our love for the man who couldn't attend.  We joined hands and prayed for Phil's recovery and thanked God for the time we shared with him on the job.  The MC filmed that as well. 

Then we headed down the mountain, to the hospital where Phil lay in the Intensive Care Unit.  His devastated wife and their son shared that Phil was able to communicate with them yesterday by nodding yes and no to various questions after his first stroke.  By yesterday afternoon, he'd suffered a massive stroke and was hemorrhaging.  A risky new medicine was administered and it wasn't effective.  His brain was swelling.  One nurse said Phil's stroke was the worst he'd ever seen in his career.   The family decided they would wait a day or two to see if there was a miracle, before disconnecting the life support.  Phil wouldn't want to be in that state, said his wife.

Two by two we were allowed to "visit" with Phil.  I held his arm and told him that I loved him and how grateful I was to have him in my life.  I told him how much I depended on him at work, and what a great work ethic he displayed.  How his quiet and calm nature was always such a pleasure and how I'd miss his wry sense of humor!  

When it was time to leave, I told his wife about how our party went today.  I told her about the video-tape and she was thrilled.  She said that Phil would have wanted his party to go on without him, and that she and her family would treasure that video-tape for the rest of their lives.  

I feel in my heart, we did the right thing.  I can't understand the attitudes of the others. 

When things are done in the spirit of love and honor, it can't be wrong.