An Exciting Oklahoma Night

I mentioned in an earlier entry that my recent trip to Oklahoma was pretty darn exciting. Yep. Well, there’s more!

Since 1988 after my Grandpa Sarge died, whenever I visited my Grandma, I’d sleep with her in her king size bed. She always had the most comfortable beds, including a dreamy “floatation sleep system” which was a partial waterbed. Oh, yeah, a waterbed. Grandma was always really cool.

Sleeping with my grandma allowed for late night “girly” chats and the opportunity to get to know her better, when she’d spill her secrets and life stories. The rest of the family would say….Grandma just tells you everything.

In the past couple of years, since Grandma’s health has declined and she now lives in an assisted living environment, I’ve stayed with my Aunt Mary instead. Grandma’s little apartment, although very cute and comfy for her, is kept way too warm for me at this stage of my life. Aunt Mary and I love to sleep under a huge fan and crank up the air conditioner, so it’s a perfect match.

So, the tradition continues, and now I sleep in my Aunt Mary’s bed. She doesn’t complain about my snoring and is always prepared to give me a hardy shake if I should forget to inhale, every time I exhale. It’s a comforting feeling. We talk and laugh until the wee hours, or until we pass out from exhaustion.

Sometimes Aunt Mary may have difficulty sleeping as diabetes has taken it’s toll on her feet. Neuropathy causes her to suffer with horrible pain that seems to really kick in when the moon comes up. Walking will often calm it down, so it’s not unusual for her to be up and about in the night.

That night was no different, and I didn’t even hear a peep when she left the room. The next thing I know, it's 4:00 a.m. and Mary is sitting on the side of the bed and I hear this very calm, one-sided telephone conversation.....

“Yes, my name is Mary (last name omitted) and I live at (address omitted) and my neighbor from across the street just called me and said that she saw a prowler put something down in my side yard, then go into my backyard. Could you send an officer over here?”

I am instantly awake and up on one elbow, listening with astonishment.

“Well yes. I just happened to be awake, sitting on the sofa and I heard something on the side of my house. I thought I was imagining things, until my neighbor across the street called. She said there was a light colored car in the driveway of the vacant house to the East of mine. That’s right, the East side. But the house on the West of me is vacant too. In fact there are two houses in a row vacant on that side. Do you suppose he’s burglarizing that house? Okay, I will wait for the officers. Thank you.”

I am thinking how impressive it is that these Okies know their directions as well as they do. East, West….geez. Californians simply say….Right side, left side. That’s why Papa, a pilot, always said I was “Geographically Challenged!“

I am also thinking how fortunate Mary is that she has a neighbor who happens to be awake at that hour, because if it were me, I wouldn’t have heard a thing. The burglar would have more likely had a pleasant, stress free heist, hearing the loud rhythmic snoring rattling the walls, knowing no one in that house is waking up anytime soon!

It was then I noticed that the kitchen blinds, facing the backyard were open. Since the bedroom was just off the kitchen and Mary had a light on beside the bed, our prowler who was still likely to be in the backyard, would be able to see right in there where two plump, middle aged women were sitting terrified in their shorty pajamas!

On second thought, I figured he’d probably throw up his hands and run away in obvious disgust at the sight, but I still told Mary to get over there and close those damn blinds!

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door and there stood one of OKC’s finest inquiring about our call. Mary told him the same story as she told the 9-1-1 Operator a few minutes earlier, and pointed out the neighbor’s house, where he could get the details from her.

She told the officer, “I think that’s his light colored car in the driveway next door!” The confused officer said, “That’s not a light colored car, that’s a Taxi!” It was apparent at that point that neither of the aged women had superior eyesight.

Again, a knock at the front door. It was the same officer back with more questions. He’d called in back-up and there was at least 5 cop cars parked in both directions, blocking the street in front of her house. I figured it must have been a slow night in OKC, but I was terribly thankful for their presence and the journal fodder.

As the young officer pressed Mary for details about just where she heard the noises, we heard someone yell “I’ve got him over here!” The young officer nearly fell as he rushed from the porch to help his partners. There was so much commotion, I hollered to Mary, “Close and lock that door!” as I imagined the perp breaking away, running into the house and taking us hostage.

A few minutes later, the officer was back to inform us that he had the suspect in custody after finding him in Mary’s side yard, hiding in the bushes. We breathed a sigh of relief. But, I had to have the rest of the details for an interesting journal entry so I did what any responsible journal writer would do…I got nosy.

I threw on a pair of sweats and opened the front door and stepped into the night air. That’s when I saw something that didn’t quite fit. There was scruffy middle-aged, man with his waist length, graying hair pulled back into a pony-tail. He had a flashlight in hand, shining it around Mary’s yard as the police were grouped up near their cars, beginning their reports and not paying any attention to him.

I couldn’t stand not knowing, so I said, “Okay now…just who are you?”

He said, “I am the Taxi driver! That’s my Taxi!” as he pointed to the vehicle. “That guy stole my taxi from the 7-11 a few blocks away! I had just stopped for gas, went inside to pay and grab a cup of coffee and the next thing I know, this idiot in a TUXEDO has jumped in my Taxi and is driving off! I figured he was after the money, but I had the money on me! Right now I am looking for the keys, because I can’t go anywhere until I find them and it looks like he ditched them and my checkbook somewhere around here where the cops found him!”

I asked him how long ago the taxi had been stolen and he said, “Just 15 minutes!”

“The guy was wearing a TUXEDO?” I said incredulously and gave Aunt Mary a high five, saying she just solved the case of the Tuxedoed Taxi Bandit!

But, I had to wonder out loud why this guy was wearing a tux when he stole the Taxi. My journal entry would just not be complete without “the rest of the story!”

Aunt Mary, a real crime stopper said, “I bet he escaped from one of the local high school proms!”

Well….after all, it was that time of year.

But, when the young cop came to the door for the final time to let us know that they had everything under control and the bad guy was going to jail, I had to ask. “What the hell was that guy doing in a tux, when he decided to steal that Taxi?”

Again, Aunt Mary gives her thoughtful take on the situation, “I think he escaped from a bad date at the prom!”

The friendly cop just laughed and said, “I think he’s a bit old for the prom, but he is pretty drunk. Who knows?”

My guess…………..He’s a runaway groom?

Well…It could happen!

I guess we’ll never know for sure.