Womanizer, Womanizer...Baby, You're a Womanizer!

"Slicks" as we like to call the most popular restaurant/watering hole in our little town, was packed to standing room only last night as we headed out in our Saturday night best...looking rather HOT, I might add, to continue the birthday celebration for the now 36-year-old Princess of Quite A Lot.

She's workin' this birthday all month long. Yep, it's her birthday and she'll decide when it's over. I am proud to tell you, I taught her to do exactly that as I truly believe we need to celebrate being uniquely us, whenever we can. Personally, I milked my 50th birthday that WHOLE YEAR; which worked out well, considering my birthday is in December!

Anyway...since it was going to be awhile before we could obtain a table, Tam elbowed her way up to the bar to get us a round of drinks; an Appletini for me, a Corona with Lime for Jody, a Cranberry and Grenadine, sans alcohol for her hubs, and a Jack and Coke for the Princess. We stayed huddled nearby as she got the bartender's attention and while she was waiting for the order, she struck up a conversation with an old friend nearby, then turned and introduced him to me.

I politely shook his hand and told him it was nice to meet him. He didn't know it, but I actually knew quite a bit about him. It's like that in a small town. Tam asked that I take a couple of photos of the two of them for "old times sake" since they were once "involved" for a short time, years ago. After a few photos, an acceptable one was agreed upon just at the moment a table became available, so we headed over to it, minus Mister Formerly Involved, who was just obtaining his first drink at the bar.

Fast forward about 4 hours later....

After a couple of drinks, we'd danced the night away to some of my new favorite dance tunes, including those naughty ones I mentioned in another blog entry and Jody and I sat down to rest for awhile. Tam was still out on the dance floor, with some hunky 23 year old, as she's decided that she's now going to be a "cougar" and chase those "younger men."

Out of nowhere, Mr. Formerly Involved shows up at our table, looks down at me and says something that I can't understand as he's obviously quite intoxicated and I have 55 year old ears that don't work as well as they used to and the music is totally blaring. I look at Jody inquisitively...like "please interpret for me Honey because I can't hear a thing" and she says:

"He said, 'I am sooooooo into you!' to YOU!"

Wide eyed, and obviously shocked because I hear people say that to Jody all the time, but to ME? It's been a while people!

I looked at this 39 year old man, who is now looking at me longingly and I hear him say..... "Are you married?"

"I am soooooooooooo in to you!" he says again.

Jody said, "She's HOT isn't she! Beautiful, huh!"

I smiled....somewhat flattered and definitely incredulous and said, "Do you remember meeting me earlier? I am Tam's MOM!"

He smiled back and said, "I know who you are!" And again, "I am sooooooooo in to YOU!"

Smiling, in a kind sort of way, I motioned with my index finger for him to come closer.

That's right.

Right here, darlin.

Closer. I wanted to speak directly in to his ear; the one just a little North West of his HUGE anticipating grin.

I wanted to make sure he heard every word.

CLEARLY.

After all, it was just our little secret!

"Dude!" I said, "I am Tam's MUTH-ER! You fuckin' impregnated my daughter!"

Suddenly, I wasn't quite as HOT any more and he certainly looked liked he'd sobered up a bit as he quickly disappeared in to the crowd!

Woman-i-zer, Woman-i-zer...Yeah...I know who you are!





Disclaimer: My daughter miscarried that child, and yes, he was aware of the pregnancy. Although she does not read this blog, I read her this entry because she found the whole situation hysterically funny and we're both still shaking our heads over the absurdity of it all.