Flyin' My Freak Flag Proudly

My new Blogger friends, Frankie and Bella, who are identical twins and cobloggers from Australia; which is pretty dern special in itself-did an entry yesterday in which they posted some, well...oddities about themselves, entitled Flying Your Freak Flag.

They asked their readers about little quirks that they may have; the kind that make you somewhat neurotic, a little freaky or just plain uniquely YOU! You know…endearing stuff. The stuff that makes your teenager want to divorce your creepy ass because, let's face it you are just too bizarre.

It brought to mind a nifty Al-Anon sayin'...."You are only as sick as your secrets!" which got me to thinkin' how really special I am. My endearing quirks are probably pretty mild, in comparison to some people...like maybe Remo's...but I think they make for good blogging and I'd like to "share."

I reveal these oddities with great risk, knowing all too well that my Would Be Prince Charming may never again invite me to his safe haven, as he already has seen me drink one glass of wine and break into considerable sobs while we watched What Dreams May Come, with Robin Williams. I think he found me beyond hope at that point, with "ISSUES!" :)

Dear God! I thought Robin Williams only did comedies, but I am not "well read" when it comes to movies. I can get emotional all over again just thinking about that film as the whole damn family died! I am such a girl........

But, back to the task at hand.........



Flies: Yes, your garden variety, household black flies. I cannot and will not sleep or even be able to handle being in a small room with a FLY or Flies! I had a recurring dream when I was little, about being in a small room, with no doors and no windows, with a continual buzzing that I believe was a fly. It may have been a bee, who knows, but I've found it's much more likely that one would have a fly in the room, than a bee. It's my freaky nightmare, so I've chosen the antagonist to be an annoying and terrifying fly whose BUZZing gets increasing louder when I struggle to find my way outta the room. The horror!!! Anyway, I once broke a globe on the bathroom light in my master bath while chasing a fly with a towel; finally killing it so I could get some sleep!



Chapstick-Since I was old enough to provide for myself, I been addicted to Chapstick. SERIOUSLY addicted. The store brand will sometimes do, but for the purposes of this journal, we'll call it Chapstick. I must have Chapstick with me at all times! If I am not wearing lipstick, then I must have Chapstick on my lips. I probably have the softest lips in town because I use it constantly and will even put it on my lips in the middle of the night, if I happen to wake up. There's one in my nightstand, one in my purse, one on my desk and if I go for a walk without my purse, I will put a Chapstick in my pocket. If for some unGodly reason I wouldn't have access to my Chapstick, I would begin to panic and would have to go to the nearest drugstore or handy 7-11, to pick up a new one. After that I would regain my composure. I know...they have meds for that kind of behavior.



Dirty Hands-I HATE MY HANDS TO BE DIRTY!! I mean dirt..dirty or greasy dirty. ICK! I dunno, but maybe my neurotic mother or grandmother used to wash my hands a little too often when I was a kid. (I am also somewhat germophobic, but that's the next paragraph) So, I pretty much don't like to use my hands mix meatloaf, grease the bottom of baking pans with butter, garden without gloves-because soil under my nails is torture-and I seriously doubt that I'd enjoy throwing a clay pot on a spinning wheel, even though I'd think I'd like to try, because it would really bother me to have my hands THAT dirty!



Germophobic-I guess I am doing my part to ensure we as a Nation end up with supergerms, because I carry hand sanitizer and use it pretty regularly. Of course I only use it if I don't have a sink available to suitably wash my hands after touching nasty objects used by millions of people on a regular basis. Like after pumping gas, handling money, door handles or shopping carts! Albertson's has my business just because they offer free sanitizing wipes for cleaning up the shopping cart push bar, just as you walk in the building. What service!

Yes..I know that is what an immune system and positive thinking is for, but on the other side of the coin, I seldom get sick.

Finally......



Cotton balls: Touching a cotton ball to me, is the equivalent of someone scratching their fingernails on a chalkboard!!! UGGGGHHHH!!! I just can't stand touching a REAL cotton; like they stuff in pill bottles! The texture is just simply unbearable!!! My children think it's hysterical and love to come up to me with a cotton ball in hand and try to rub it on me!

So...If you'd ever like to torture me, just put me in a small room with padded cotton walls, just after I've pumped gas, without my Chapstick, and release a few big black flies.

I'll either create an exit, or die trying.