Don't just DO something! Sit there!

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need advice. ~Bill Cosby

No one can ever accuse me of NOT giving things the good ol' college try!



Seriously. Ask Cave Man...I guess I about wore him out with my tweaked emotional reasoning and wishful thinking, over the past couple of months. So, of course I continue to think and reflect on my behavior, motivation, distorted thoughts and fears and look for patterns. If I were able to give a name to this particular little episode of my unfolding life, I think "Fools Rush In" would fit nicely!

However, I would like to think that little ordeal was more of a symptom of my unconscious thoughts and the fact that I've been spinnin' about like a shiny new Christmas top, than a true snapshot of how I'd normally handle things.

When I was a supervisor and a manager in my career, I made it my personal policy to never go into a new position with the attitude that I...experienced prison supervisor extraordinaire ....had to rush in and "fix" everything or change things for the sake of feeling like I was "doing something!"

Additionally, I strongly discouraged my subordinate staff from doing the same when they arrived on the scene; since corrections staff and inmates tend to get their panties all in a bunch when you inflict ANY kind of change on them! We so like our little routines.

Instead...I'd sit back, take care of the necessary basics, stomp out the fires without upsetting the apple cart and just watch for awhile. Simple. Logical.

Once I'd learn what was working and what was NOT working, or in many cases..utterly missing from the program, I'd get to the business of "change!" Slowly. Methodically. It was the best way to handle things and my staff and the inmates greatly appreciated that from me, I'm sure.

Why do I insist on NOT handling my personal life like that? I don't wanna overuse one of my all time fav-o-rite lines from a country song..but here it is again..... "When you're spinning round, things come undone!"

I used to say "My oldest child was born breech and has been making her way through life kicking and screaming ever since!" In many ways...that's a perfect example of ME lately. "Picture, if you will"..... LIFE as the Cave Man who's dragging the woman by her hair as she's flailing about and screaming! Picture perfect, I'd say!



As it's been pointed out to me, I need to find the calm and also avoid making any serious decisions for awhile. It's not like I was gonna seriously consider accepting a marriage proposal from anyone named Bubba, but I do get "it." I know I need to s-l-o-w everything thing down. Waaaaayyyyy down. So....I am going to retreat within a little more often. Hang out in my little cave! Meditate. Write. Read. Pray. Create. Just Be.

I asked someone to be my Al-Anon sponsor last night and I feel really good about that and her as well! Today we'll spend some time getting to know one another. I selected her as she seems to be the perfect balance of fiesty, no-nonsense and compassionate and I felt I could relate to her well. It's sorta like finding the right therapist with whom you can relate. She's also a 10 year recovering alcoholic and as a codependent member of Al-Anon too, she understands both sides of the fence. That really works for me. It's going to be nice to have someone who I can relate to in this recovery process.

And now? I am off to have an "ordinary" day. Quiet and routine. Just like us prison people like it!